How do I get over him?

[Anonymous]

This guy is just terrible, emotionally unavailable, and shady. I cut all ties with him, unfortunately I still have feelings for him. I have a lot of hobbies I enjoy doing and I have a good career, I work a lot. I try to occupy myself with things I like to do as much as I can. I still can’t get this jerk out of my mind. I’m in a new relationship with another guy and I feel like he doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t know my situation and that I still need to get over the other guy. I deleted the jerk on all social media, blocked his number, erased all the pics of him on my phone. I don’t know if I should break up with my current boyfriend and just allow time to heal or continue this relationship, which I feel just isn’t fair to him. I would appreciate any thoughts in this, no rude answers please.

[Anonymous]

Get back with him!!! You left the relationship too early that's why you're having problems letting him go. Get back with him, stay through the bullshit, eventually you'll start to hate him and won't have a problem breaking things off

[Asker]

lol, stop trolling

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not.

[Asker]

Why would I get back with someone I know it won't work out with and waste my time?

[Opinion Owner]

To get over him

[Asker]

That will make it all the more harder to get over him.. What a dumb answer lol

[Opinion Owner]

Ok if you think so

[RHK36]

Just let the current guy know how you're feeling about it. Deep down do you even want to be in a relationship? If so let him know that too.

[Paulyjtk]

Find someone random to have some one off fun for a night or two that should work

[SamFromFL]

End the relationship now.

[Asker]

What should I say to him.. I feel like I lead him on big time and this will really hurt him...

[SamFromFL]

Tell him the truth that he is a rebound. It will hurt him more if you don’t end it soon.

[Asker]

He isn’t really a rebound, it’s not like I’m waiting to get back with the other guy, the issue is the lingering feelings with the other guy

[SamFromFL]

He is a rebound. You didn’t wait long enough between relationships. That’s on you, so do this guy a favor and end it ASAP.

[Asker]

I know and I’m really scared about the backlash I’ll get from him, it’s almost been a year since I’ve been with him. I feel like he deserves to know the whole truth about what happened but I feel like that will just be too much for him. He really trusted me this whole time..

[SamFromFL]

Scared about your own safety and a backlash is a legit reason to write him a note and send it instead of breaking up in person. But aside from that best to be honest so he recovers more quickly and realizes it was your fault.

[Asker]

I don’t really think it was all my fault. It’s been a long time since I broke up with the other guy and I actually moved on from him. But for some reason, when I got with my current boyfriend he reminds me a lot about the ex, and it took me a while to actually realize what’s going on. It’s a pretty bad predicament...

[SamFromFL]

Regardless are you going to keep leading him on?

[Asker]

No, I just need to find the right time to tell him.

[SamFromFL]

This week will you?

[Asker]

Yes I’m hoping/praying asap. I just need to muster up the courage to tell him

[SamFromFL]

Ok. I just created a question. Please answer it. Ty

[SamFromFL]

Thanks for answering that. I’ve got a theory that ‘honesty’ is different for women and men.

[Asker]

Well men do the same too when it comes to physical attraction, no normal person is going to tell you that the true reason they broke up with you is because they don’t find you attractive or ugly, because that is just very mean and hurtful to say to anybody.

[SamFromFL]

Then everyone lies. Because if someone is honest then they would tell them they are not attracted to them physically.

[Asker]

That’s not a lie actually. I don’t need to say that I’m not physically attracted to the person, when I could just say I don’t have feelings for that person, it’s the same thing really. I personally don’t want to know that that’s the reason why someone is breaking up with me. And don’t ever say that to a girl because God honest truth we don’t want to hear that

[SamFromFL]

My theory is girls will protect someone’s feelings and will lie or find a softer truth. Guys are more willing to be honest even if it’s hurtful.

[Asker]

Lol that’s not always true because I personally met a lot of guys who lie through their teeth. And you got to be careful what you’re going to be brutally honest about because you could destroy someone’s already fragile self esteem with your harsh words. There are just certain things you never say to women because women’s feelings are way more fragile then man’s.

[SamFromFL]

Lol notice I carefully said that guys are ‘more willing’ to be honest. Of course most people lie. I just think when a woman says that she wants an ‘honest guy’ that it doesn’t translate to what men hear.

[Asker]

I dont think most men would like the brutal honest truth either. How would you like it if a girl broke with you and told you its because your dick is too small, your too short for her liking or just unnatractive to her? wouldn't you just rather hear, “I dont have feelings for you anymore?“

[SamFromFL]

In the moment it would sting, but over time it’s better than wondering why and repeating a mistake with the next one. Guys overthink less than girls but we still like feedback.
If he broke up and just said he lost feelings wouldn’t you rack your brain coming up with another reason and reply everything that happened with him recently?

[Asker]

My point is that why would you point that out when physical appearance is something you can't help? Its just uncalled for. You can't fix your height, your face, your body figure, you could lose weight maybe, you see where this is going? And yes him saying he dont have feelings for me anymore is all that I need and is enough for me to move on!! I dont care what he has to say about how I look. Maybe a guy’s fragile ego might lol

[SamFromFL]

Lol now you don’t care what he has to say about how you look? The point is why I may not like how a person looks others may like it.

[SamFromFL]

Follow me if you want to keep chatting. Lol we went beyond just answering your question here.