I don't get angry at my boyfriend often, but the two times I've pulled up an issue I have, he just expects me to 'get over it' instead of talking things out or apologising to me.
He disrespected me by telling his friends about our sex life (details like about me in bed etc) and I said I don't like it and don't feel comfortable. He said I'm overreacting and told me to get over it. I nearly broke up with him over this reaction and he acted shocked and said well if you want to end the relationship over such a tiny issue then that's fine.
The other time, he showed my nudes to his friends and I again confronted him and said please don't do that it hurts me. He again said I just need to get over things.
But it wasn't just the issue, it's the fact that I feel he gaslights me when I get upset at something he did which is disrespectful. What should I do?
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You need to learn to set clear boundaries and expectations, you need to communicate them clearly VERY early in any relationship, and there needs to be serious consequences for breaking them. If you don't do this, you are allowing a sloppy, messy relationship, and so you can't be surprised when your relationship gets messy.
I'm fully on board with your values - I think he was wrong for doing the things he did - but some women would be completely fine with it, so there isn't a definitive right or wrong answer, which is why YOU must set your own boundaries and expectations, and so must he, and then you either accept each other's limits, or you end the relationship right there, based on the understanding that the two of you are incompatible. Still, you have to do the work - you can't just assume that everyone shares your values and boundaries, because they don't. It's up to YOU to filter through people and find the ones who DO share your values and boundaries, or at the very least, respect them.
There ARE things that some girls make a bigger deal than it needs to be, and that they DO need to "just get over" - but in my opinion these issues aren't that kind of thing. I totally understand why you're upset at what happened - but I also know that you didn't do the work to learn about his morals, values, and life-goals to figure out long ago that you had some big incompatibilities - either that, or you knew they existed the whole time but thought you could ignore them and nothing bad would happen. Either way, this is a good lesson in the reality that life doesn't work that way. You have to put in the work, UP FRONT, if you want to be in a relationship that has a chance of lasting - and you have to be willing to walk away when you discover serious red flags - no matter how cute he is or how much you REALLY LIKE HIM.
Come on, sending nudes is clearly wrong. Some women might be okay with it, but unless the guy has an explicit approval on this, then he's being a dickhead. It is NOT a question of not properly communicating boundaries. One should ask first about such things, AND not act like a dick when your girlfriend is uncomfortable with this. The way he reacted IS very aresholish. That he thinks her concerns are "tiny" and not warrant a breakup for example. This means he doesn't respect her and her feelings. That's a huge no and wrong. End of story. She should dump him pronto.
@MrOracle - are you incapable of reading? Or comprehending English?
She said that TWICE he was EXTREMELY DISRESPECTFUL in conversing with his friends about their sex life & even sending nudes. In many areas the sharing of nudes would be CONSIDERED SEXUAL HARASSMENT.
Does that make it clear that her "boyfriend" is a PIECE OF SHIT for you?
@spearheadbt2 I guess you didn't read past the first paragraph, because I agreed with everything you wrote.