We met a week ago on a language exchange meetup, vibed really good and exchanged Instagram. We kept in touch almost every day, he expressed how much he liked me and wanted to have a date as soon as possible. So we agreed on yesterday or today when he comes back from his 4 day trip to another country. He said he was going with his flatmate. During his trip we texted every day, and he was pretty active on Insta (he posted stories about his trip and few photos). I liked his photo and reacted on few stories, while he was doing same on mine. So pretty much everything seemed normal!
Then on his last day (Tuesday), few hours before his flight back he posted his last story which was some weird looking food and I asked what it was. He never saw the message. I shot him one more message yesterday asking if he returned safely and nothing, didn't see that one either (now is Thursday).
Usually I would just write it off as typical ghosting, but the fact that the communication stopped right when he was returning from a country that is by the way very popular with crime, just got me a bit worried. This guy seemed really down to earth, a very well educated doctor with phd in Psychology, would never think he'd do something like this. The weird thing is that he didn't block me or anything, he literally disappeared from socials. So my assumption is that after the trip he went off the grid completely for whatever reason, and also changed his mind about me...
Every time I was ghosted before they either leave me on seen or unfollow/block or simply continue on with their social life ignoring me.
I don't want to think the worst, I just wish to know if he is okay and really just not interested anymore. But what if really something happened? He is new in this city, moved recently from south america and doesn't know many people here...
So this guy ghosted me and I can't shake it off?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
The fact you were so quick in knowing each other and setting up a date means that he didn't have concrete basis to really "want it" and that it was pretty casual. With the same speed he might have started talking with another girl in the meantime, bonding, setting up a date. Things that start so fast have the potential to end fast the same.
Sure there is the chance someone stole his phone or that he was checked by police at the return or some stuff and found no place to charge his phone.
But given how little that chance is compared to how common it is to flirt with multiple people together while not being committed to any, well I would think that is the case. And when it happens, yes, it is that sudden.
Anyway only 2 days passed so far, it's a small time window, I think you can move on when you'll see him posting other content on Instagram, or, after a week of silence. Because even if he got his phone stolen, it's unlikely he didn't get any emergency one for an entire week after that. And if he is really a doctor he doesn't lack the money to get a quick cheap one.
So unless he got his phone stolen, don't accept him back with any "I was busy" bullshit because even if you're busy with travel stuff you find the time to send 1 message, if you care, or to read it at least. A generic "I was busy" is NOT an acceptable justification after inflicting ghosting for days (ok maybe not 2, but 4-5 all of a sudden starts getting questionable), which is kind of an abusive practice.
If he says he was busy and doesn't go in detail with that it mean he was busy with another girl then got ignored a bit or things didn't go well and is coming back to you as a second option.
You always expect people to make you priority and respond immediately? Too much may be your issue.
I have no idea how you came to that conclusion, but whatever.