How do I stop being such a nice guy?

[PhillDerup]

I’m tired of being walked on by women I date.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude I feel you, it sucks being taken advantage of. Few things that help:

- Set boundaries early on. Make it clear you're not a doormat and don't be afraid to say no if you're not cool with something.

- Don't do too much for them too fast. Give some but don't shower them with attention/gifts right away. Make them put in effort too.

- Be more selfish with your time. Don't drop everything whenever they want your attention. Have your own life and interests outside them.

- Don't be afraid of conflict. Stand up for yourself in arguments instead of backing down to "keep the peace".

- Confidence is key. Act like you've got options even if you don't. Don't come across as desperate.

- Hang with more laidback dudes who don't put girls on a pedestal. Their attitude will rub off on you.

It's good to be caring but don't be a doormat. You gotta put yourself first sometimes too ya know? Ease up on being "Mr Nice Guy" and see if that helps you get played less. You shouldn't have to change who you are completely but some adjustments could balance things out.

[Drago12587]

That's really good advice, it seems like you figured it out yourself by hard way.. i was also nice guy, sacrafice for my girlfriend... I changed when she cheated on me, now when i am ready to leave any time in releationship, ( with new girlfriend) she treats me like a king... it's all because i don't think that my girlfriend is so special as i thought about first one.. i can replace her any time and she know it, that's why she love so much and take care, that she will not make me leave her

[Oliverlogan263]

@Drago12587 Damn dude, that sucks about your ex cheating after you sacrificed so much. No one deserves that. But it sounds like it was a good learning experience that really helped you level up.

I can totally relate - it wasn't until my last serious ex broke my heart that I realized I needed to stop being such a doormat. Seeing how fast she moved on really woke me up.

After that I decided to start putting myself first and not let any girl have so much power over me. Now if they want to see me, they gotta prove they're worth my time.

And it's crazy how much better they treat you when they know you won't take their crap! My new girl knows I'll bounce at the first red flag. She's always cooking me meals, wanting to spend time together, the works.

Glad to hear changing your approach is working out for you too man. We both know our worth now. Live and learn, right bro? Cheers to not putting up with disrespect anymore.

[Drago12587]

I spended 10 hours/ day looking for a problem in me, why she left me for a few months.. i slept 1-3 hours a day and lost 15kg, broken hearth hit me hard. After months of research " how womens thinks" i realized that i was too perfect for her and i didn't gave her a challange to be with me... That's why she didn't had respect to me, even when i was good looking, having money, protecting her and taking care of her so much.. she don't have to do absolutely anything to deserve me, she get bored... i was manipulated by society, parents, movies etc.. that womens want a good guy, because for us mens, it's logical that if we try our best, we expect to be treated by same way. It's quite opposite. I learned a lot from forums where girls was asking " my boyfriend is such an assh0le, don't care about me at all, what should i do to make him love me? " ... Then i opened my eyes :D in previous releationship i told her, that i will never leave her and the world breakup is banned in our releationship... i was so dumb :D. I let her do whatever she want just to make her happy... now i am the one who will use the word breakup in every situation.. " you want to go to the club without me? pack up your stuff before you go there, because when you return, you are single" ... I never expected for it to work, but it does. Before i was like " you have boyfriend, you shouldn't go alone there, but if you go, just call me that you are safe " and i bought her flowers and cook dinner when she come back just to proof how a good guy i am :D i regret every decision i did back then... Nowdays if something like this happen, i will just invite 20 most sexy girls to the party at my place or even whores and be like " i wanted party also, so i called bunch of my friends if you don't mind darling" :D.. and ofc, i will throw my girlfriend to the streets after party...

[Fromdusktilldawn]

have you heard about the term "simp"? it means being a desperate guy who showers a girl in compliments, gifts and money and almost begs her to stay/be with him. To women this is very offputting and reeks of low self confidence. So the key is to NOT make women your nr.1 goal in your life, have them as a low priority side quest. Focus on your life, you need a purpose (work, hobbies, achievements etc.), build up your confidence. When women see a guy who is busy and confident to the point he isn't insecure about loosing a women, you are a lot more attractive to them.

Caution, there ARE women out there who like simps and nice guys BUT those are the bad kind, the gold diggers, those who will take advantage of your nice'ness and will ask more and more till you're broke and treat you like trash

[boggboss]

Being a nice guy is not the same as being a doormat