He wants me to get rid of the guys I'm talking to?

[Anonymous]

So I met this guy when I was in high school and he asked me out and I said no, ever since then we've been friends and we've known each other for years, got very close and he met this women that his committed to and we're just friends, anyway I met this guy and we started dating and I told him that my friend said we wouldn't work out and we both laughed it off and said jealousy but when the friend was brought up again cause I had said goodnight to him it blew up and he told me to delete every guy that ever asked me out cause you can't stay friends with a man so yes I did get rid of the guy but how would I know which guy ever wants to just be friends or not , advice please?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a tough situation. On one hand, it makes sense your girl's new man would feel weird about her being close friends with a dude who used to have feelings for her. That'd make anyone feel a little jealous, ya know?

But at the same time, seems a bit controlling for him to demand she cuts off all guy friends just because they asked her out once. Like you said, how's she supposed to know their intentions now? And real friends are hard to find - you don't just toss people aside unless there's a real problem, I don't think.

If I was your girl, I'd talk to this new dude and set some boundaries. Make it clear you and this other guy are just friends now, nothing more. And she's not gonna ditch long-time pals without a good reason. Maybe invite him to hang out with you guys so he sees there's nothing to worry about.

Compromise is key. But she also shouldn't isolate herself either just cause he's insecure. At the end of the day, trust is everything in a relationship. If he can't trust her, it may not work out long term, ya feel? Tough spot for sure.

[Asker]

Thank you , really I appreciate it a lot💗

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re very welcome mama

[Anonymous]

That’s a tough situation. But honestly I think he is right. Maybe the way he presented it was a little harsh. But imagine this. If your man had female friends, he went out w them, they all wanted to sleep w him, maybe even take him from you. Getting him drinks, trying to hit on him. Would you be ok w that? Probably not. Men know that that’s how other men are because they most likely were the same as well. It may not be that he doesn’t trust you, he doesn’t trust these other men. I mean you even know this w your “friend” who was interested in you. But you friend zoned him. He’s just waiting in that friend zone thinking, maybe one day she will realize I would make a really good partner. Men’s friendships w women usually are net genuine, it’s usually because he wants to get w her. I’d sleep w a majority of the women I work w. That’s why don’t befriend them. A girl brings no real benefits to a man if she’s his “friend.” Women on the other hand benefit from it more when they have male “friends.”

[Asker]

Yeah I get it actually, thank you for that, appreciate it 💗

[cherriibly]

He is right

[Asker]

Not the question, I know his right that's why I got rid of the guys but my question is how do I go about it in the future, that someone might just not just wanna be a friend

[cherriibly]

U should distance your self from him

[Asker]

From who?

[cherriibly]

You should distance yourself from that boy who so-called just wants to be friends with you, otherwise problems may arise in your relationship.

[Asker]

I did , I stopped speaking with him and every other guy that ever flirted but my question is am I just going to avoid men as friends or what?