Should I forgive boyfriend of 1 year for getting head from another girl and sending her nudes?

[Anonymous]

And sending her messages that he wants to lick her ass and needs it in his face right now ….. he said he doesn’t like her and she’s fat and doesn’t care about her and she practically begged to come over and that she’s ready.

But I still feel betrayed because he still had all those conversations with her then accepted oral she said he went down on here too and they tried to sleep together but he denied it saying he couldn’t get hard that time because of the drugs they where doing.. I don't know what to do he’s my best friend. He was happy to block her but still.

[KelseiGrammar]

Nobody can answer that. I know some people will make you wish you didn't ask this question, but nothing in life is that simple. If it was, you'd know the answer (which I think you do). We all have had at least one person in our life that made us break every rule and forget all of our boundaries.
Some things are genuine mistakes made by a human who's not Jesus. But that's genuinely disrespectful as fuck. We don't know you guys history or life, but at any period in a relationship, asking to eat a random chick (or dude's🤷🏽‍♀️) ass is fucked up. It all boils down to whether or not you love and value yourself enough to know that you deserve more than wondering if he has morning breath or if that's some girl's asshole. You might be HIS best friend but he damn sure don't sound like yours. Like I said, no one knows you guys whole history, but that's too far. No one here can help you on this, you're gonna have to go inside yourself and find a way to love yourself more than you love him. It's ok to be confused but don't get used up unless you like the drama

[Asker]

Yeah he kept saying it’s a mistake and I seen the conversation she did did approach him, she was one of his coaching clients then dropped out and started sexting him… he was asking her for nudes and telling her how much he likes what he sees, this was on and off for a month. I feel like he KNEW what he was doing he even paid her $40 taxi there and back, like it doesn’t seem like he was making a one off mistake and didn’t care

[Asker]

She was actually one of his potential coaching clients, like I don’t think I could trust him he coaches so many females. I don’t even know what he was thinking doing drugs in front of her, she could ruin his reputation

[KelseiGrammar]

Unfortunately, women are the physically weaker gender, but men are the dumbest. Like I said, I dont know him so I dont know his intentions. But most men dont do things like that to be evil, they just dont think further than 5 minutes from now. And they'll lie when the truth is easier. You seem to care more about his reputation than he does.
This probably won't be the last straw for you, and that's perfectly OK. You can't fix him and you can't fix the relationship by yourself. It's all on you what ur willing to put up with and for how long. When you've had enough you'll know and you'll be strong af when you decide to leave. For now, just start by using condoms and stop kissing him in the mouth. That can be your first step toward self love. Once you fall deeply and complete in love with yourself, nobody will be able to come at you any kind of way but correct. You still young though, dont stay with him so long that you miss out on meeting the person who is content with eating only your ass for the rest of his life😁

[Anonymous]

You can forgive him if you want to, but I guarantee he will still act like this. He will still betray you. He will still talk to and accept sexual favors from other girls who are, you know…not you, his girlfriend. And he will still deny and shift blame, instead of apologize.

[Asker]

He did apologise but he was sexting her on and off for a month and this only happened like four days ago, it seems he’s only sorry he got caught

[Flatmanlewis]

Should you forgive the lying, morally vacant, who was willing to betray your trust for a lesser grade woman? (Yeah, he didn’t REALLY cheat since he couldn’t get an erection owing to the controlled substances he’s taking, but what if he had?)


No. You should not. And because you may be trying to rationalize his behavior let me tell you how to handle that. Write his rationale down on a piece of paper. Write down every single reason you think maybe you should forgive him, then read them all carefully. Then accept that they are all BS, burn the paper, and again understand - NO. You do not forgive him. You move on and find better.


A boyfriend (or girlfriend) is like a rental property. Once it goes bad you leave it, not fix it. Save the fixing and forgiving to when you get married to someone.


People learn how to treat you based on what you accept from them.

[ColHathi]

Some friend. :/ I don't think I could forgive that. He's clearly not looking for something monogamous.

I mean maybe he won't do it again. Maybe he learned his lesson. I don't really have the experience to say with any certainty whether or not he did, but my guess would be that he's just gonna do it again sometime down the line.

[Asker]

I mean their conversation was sexual on and off for a month so clearly he knew what he was doing even if the meeting her was spur of the moment he sent her his nudes, nudes that I haven’t even seen god knows who else has them. She was one of his potential personal training clients like I think I am going to struggle knowing he still coaches many girls

[ColHathi]

Yeah, exactly. Messed up :/ So even if you do tell him that you forgive him, are you going to be able to trust him after that? I wonder if I could if someone did that to me.

[OlderAndWiser]

So he uses illegal drugs, he cheats on you with fat skank ho's, and you see a future with him? What coupld possibly go wrong here?

[Asker]

Yeah the drugs part I hate but don’t insult the girl, she’s the one who told me she had her friend do it, she thought he was single smh

[AviatorTom]

It's always your choice go forgive it not... maybe you could do better?

[IslaTheWitch]

Do you want to forgive him? Do you feel you can do it genuinely?

If you feel you want to forgive him, sure, go for it. Just set up boundaries in your relationship. You both should talk about what you want from this relationship, what is allowed and what is not.

If you feel you can't end it fast and in a civilized way.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, he cheated, I’d dump his ass. How can you ever believe him? God knows how many messages he’s deleted, people he’s blocked and unblocked, all to cover cheating! Can’t even defend him and say it’s not true, you caught him doing it! Good friends come and go, you will find another. Loyal men however are rare and he isn’t one.

[Opinion Owner]

Was she fat and desperate when he begged to put his face in her ass? Lol liiike….

[Asker]

I feel like he only blocked her because she blocked him I asked him to show me him doing it and he went she beat me to the chase. Just red flag central. Although the girl was nice enough to have her friend inform me. She thought he was single. Not her fault

[Opinion Owner]

Ugh, that’s so shitty! The fact he’s presenting as single and you wouldn’t have even known if her friend didn’t tell you. Cheating is enough but altogether it sucks. I’m sorry, I know the timing is shit with the holidays and all but please be done, he destroyed the relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

If you having loving people around you then lean onto them, they will support you through this.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

You make the call. But in all honesty, I'd say to just let him go, even if he is also your bestie. He actively went and cheated on you behind your back. But if you want to give him a second chance that is on you to decide.

[Asker]

He said it’s not cheating as they didn’t actually sleep together cause he couldn’t get it up on cocaine. But I mean he still sexted her on and off for weeks, sent nudes to her and asked for her nudes and they exchanged oral like I don’t know he says it’s a mistake but it seems premeditated

[PBandJ_Nerd]

He says it isn't cheating but it still is. Sexting and sending nudes to people while in a relationship I think is a no. Also, oral sex is still sex, so it doesn't matter if he didn't do anything else with her. If he could get it up on cocaine, he probably would've done it, so I'm not sure why he's excusing what he's done. He might think only sexual intercourse is cheating, but I think anything sexual with another person other than your partner is. I would hope he realizes that you're not only going to feel betrayed but also not trust him like you used to.

[PeachyPie93]

Umm, no lol
He was happy to cheat on you, why forgive? Move on to someone more respectable. He clearly is not your best friend because he betrayed you and didn't care about your feelings.

[Asker]

Yeah he kept saying it’s a mistake and I seen the chat she did initiate a lot of it but he was asking her for nudes and telling her how much he likes what he sees, this was on and off for a month. I feel like he KNEW what he was doing they met after 4 weeks of this back and fourth.

[PeachyPie93]

Yes he knew what he was doing. A mistake is on one time thing, not something he built up after a month. He will do it again if you forgive him for it. Just dump him. He even ate her out, do you want to kiss him after that? gross lol

[JacobJordan]

Forgive him so he can go cheat again? You for real? Nah relationship is over was over before he even cheated. Was over the moment he sent another girl a message. Run baby girl run!

[myacaii]

Once a cheater, always a cheater. You can forgive him if you’d forgive him on all future instances too

[Fireguy17]

I think it is time you move on and find someone better.
It doesn't sound like it will be all that hard of a thing to do.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

You should always forgive but if you decide to stay with him then the odds of him cheating on you again is high.

[Asker]

She was one of his coaching clients how will I ever trust him he coaches a lot of attractive woman, I never would’ve had any doubts till this happened. They sexted on and off for a month like I doubt it’s a mistake

[noohair]

What was the legal standing of your relationship? I don't think you can get past this so you will waste time and he is prone to do it again.

[Anonymous]

Why tf would you want to be with someone like that for? Do you have shit for brains or any actual intelligence because if you did have intelligence you wouldn't even be asking this question you would of left his ass and had him packing his bags

[abc3643]

You mean you ex-boyfriend?
No.
Move on.

[ThrillSeeker01]

Ugh no, move on!

[Asker]

Do you think he would’ve slept with her if he wasn’t on drugs and he could’ve got hard… apparently the coke stopped him🙈

[ThrillSeeker01]

Yep.

[Anonymous]

No, dump this loser.

[Asker]

Would you have?

[Anonymous]

You should get even by f*cking that girl's father

[KrakenAttackin]

Chad has to get his balls drained.

[ChicoFromThe305]

No...

[Asker]

do you think if he wasn’t on c*ke and could’ve got hard he would’ve slept with her since he’s saying it caused him problems

[ChicoFromThe305]

I'd say love on

[ChicoFromThe305]

Move*

[Drumlin2001]

Nope

[shortster]

Nope

[Asker]

He clearly doesn’t think I’m the one does he

[shortster]

He certainly doesn't respect you enough.