My boyfriend of 3 years sent nudes to another girl. Need advice?

[Anonymous]

I just recently found out that my boyfriend had sent nudes to some girl he met on Facebook. I was going through files on his phone and I saw the deleted nudes he sent. I asked him about it and he denied it. He said he didn’t send it to anyone, he just took pictures for himself. Later on he admitted to it and said that he sent nudes to some girl because she asked for them. Once a month I would go to the library to study. He would watch our daughter at home. But I guess during this time he would send nudes to that girl. I asked him who she was and he didn’t want to tell me her name. I asked him to use my Facebook to find her account but he says he couldn’t find it. He doesn’t have a Facebook account anymore because he would always message girls and it caused problems. I asked him why he sent her nudes but he said just because. Keep in mind this all happened while I was 9 months pregnant with our daughter and then it kept happening after our daughter was born. It started late February and ended in July 2019. Since it happened a long time ago I forgave him because he said he blocked her on everything and stopped doing it. But I don’t understand why he wouldn’t tell me her name or show me her Facebook. If you found out your spouse did this would you forgive them? What would you do? What do you recommend that I do? I’m trying to put this in the past but it continues to play in the back of my mind

[Levin]

It doesn't sound good.

It sounds like he's itching to do stuff, and can't be relied upon not to in the future. Sounds like you can't trust him. 'Just because' is terribly dismissive given the gravity of what has taken place.

Why have you stayed with him? Notwithstanding the fact you have a child together. Why would he do something like that when you're pregnant? What is the relationship like in general? Is he serious about it?

[Asker]

He always tells me that he’s serious about our relationship. We’ve been together for 3 years and he talks about getting married. He tells me that he wants to grow old together but he could always just say that but not mean it

[Levin]

What's his behaviour like though? Anyone can talk any old shit. It's how they act that is most important. If he was wonderfully attentive, caring, and 99.99% perfect as a partner, then perhaps he could be forgiven. If he doesn't seem to give a shit, then.

Also, have you talked to him about how this has made you feel? How is erodes the trust and the relationship into the dirt? ain't no relationship without communication.

Have you also put your foot down about this? Because passivity might cause him to do it again. Not that that should be an excuse.

[Asker]

I did talk to him about how it makes me feel. And he told me that it’s in the past. That he’s no longer doing it. He told me that it’s going to be my problem if I’m going to be sad about it and continue to think about it and not let it go.

[Levin]

So he's just deflecting it back on you. I hope you don't mind me saying, but that's pretty twatty behaviour, and indicates that he's not taking responsibility for it.

You do what is right for you. But you should seriously scold him for his shit in the least, if it was me anyway. If it was me, I very much doubt I'd still be with him. But I see the difficulty if you have a kid. But yeah, seek a viable relationship and happiness I guess. Good luck.

[Laggy]

He refuses to find the girl back to cover up his tracks. He refuses to have an argument to your question as to why he did it. He denied it first. Those are signs of a cheater not feeling that guilty about it, just embarrassed. He might not be the guy you think he is.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

It sounds like he can't be trusted and there is no trust in your relationship. Unfortunately, if you continue to forgive it, he will continue to do it. It is best you part ways, but try to stay amicable for the sake of your children.

[MzAsh]

He’s a scum bag cheater. I’d dump him, then demand child support and comp for emotional distress.

[EGarzona]

I recommend you see a MFT (marrage family therapist) for this situation. Although im not sure why you continue to put up with his behavior you clearly want to stay. So if you want to stay and wait for him to stop cheating (if ever) i recommend professional guidance.

[Francessa]

I'm going through the same thing just barely busted him , hurts like hell but get rid of him probably isn't the first time and probably won't be the last 😏🤷‍♀️

[Laozi]

You haven't forgiven him from the heart. As long as you're holding those things, nothings going to be normal. So, either leave him now or wait until he make another mistake and then leave him.

[ajmeza]

If you forgive then forget even though they go hand in hand and contradict each other,,,,, its really up to you to let it go but if u can't its going to give you issues in your future with him ask yourself what should you do.

[Dchrls78104]

To me that would amount to cheating; if my girlfriend did that, I'd dump.

[Smegskull]

Have you tried exploring exhibitionism in the bedroom?

[visha0811]

I think he is finding only sex on online so be careful

[JoyGirl]

Dump his ass. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

[Anonymous]

May I sent my nude for you 🤣🤣 it will be equal for both of you lol 😉

[sonu789]

He is not a decent guy , then

[Boyisjoy]

Den, 4get him & consider me!

[Countrywildmangirl]

Break up through his phone

[Jackpot777s]

Be done with him

[crazygus77]

Dump him.

[Mrswright077]

Dump him