Girls, how do you put yourself back ‘out there’?

[Anonymous]

I am about to turn 31 and have been single for nearly 2 years now.

I took a while to get over my ex boyfriend but feeling better now. I have my own house now and I’ve landed my dream job so things are going okay but I’d love to meet some and have kids eventually!

Everyone keeps saying I need to put myself out there but I don’t know what that even means, I haven’t been single since my early 20s when I would be out every weekend with my friends but I rarely leave the house except for work!

I’ve tried dating apps but I really hate the idea of them as I don’t like judging guys by their pics and I find it awkward.

I live in a very small town away from all my friends and family so there’s not much to do in terms of meeting new people.

I’m quite shy and I feel like I’ve lost all my confidence. So any tips would be very appreciated!!! X

[bobalife]

I felt the same way after my last break up, but my best advice is just to listen to yourself on what you really want and what you are ready for.. not on what others want for you. I think you'll feel more pressure and antsy when being pushed for something when you are still healing and building your own self-esteem again... I know I sure did from others. But if you feel like you are ready, I'd suggest working on what you like about yourself, do things that will make you feel good, spoiled yourself with lots of love, and building a loving relationship with yourself to feel more confident (spiritually, religiously, mentally, emotionally, positively, etc). I think it helps to go out more in social settings with friends or places of interests to slowly meet new people, talk to people, and most importantly be yourself and have fun :) Hope this helps!

[Anonymous]

Start going out. I know it's the hardest thing to probably do when you haven't done that in so long but that's the best way to put yourself out there. Also, find some new hobbies to get into like dance classes, yoga, trivia nights at a bar or lounge, karaoke bar nights, concerts, etc.

[RebelinSteel]

Book yourself a holiday, some place you like and fits in with how you are. Make sure there is some level of nightlife, things to do etc. have two weeks away and get used to talking to people. Just relax and chat to people, don’t rush it or try to hard, it’s just about getting back to interacting with people. It will be hard living in a small town, it’s a small pond for choices, look at joining a club for something that interest you but where it’s more populous.

[Ironic_Method]

... it takes you 2 years to get over someone?

[AGIS88]

Lot's of variables here. Do you have kids now?