Girls, Girls say I look in my 40s, while being 25. I never had a girlfriend before either. Is it too much to ask to date someone in similar age?

[Anonymous]

I had a couple of dates last year, I always get "you look very mature" or "you look like you are in your 40s". But I dont mind my own look, I find myself kinda cute (haha). I try to look as good as I can. I care about my fitness and health, dress well and pretty confident about my looks, things I want and my emotions.

In those first dates, girls seem to like our conversations, my personality and the way I make them have fun time. They laugh, they compliment, they take pictures. We even had an occasion with one date where we ended up dancing very intimately. Though, after that I get ghosted in a constant rate. Normally, if someone would have said that to me, I would say "maybe there are behaviors that you do that turns them off" but I can definitely see they are enjoying their time and not acting distant.

Some of the girls could be turned off by my "old aged" look, which is okay, but when I talk to people they suggest dating with woman that are in their late thirties for better chances. As someone who never had a girl friend, I was hoping for someone that we can experience things for the first time. Dating more experienced partners that wanna settle down feels a little too unfair and even cruel (without blaming no parties of course). Is it too much to ask to date someone in similar age, despite I look old, while actually being young?

[SueShe]

Unfortunately, nowadays, people seem only to emphasize the looks and not what lies beyond the looks. Those would be the character, personality and intellect of a person. While the looks may be fine in an early stage of dating, they soon fade with time while the character, intellect and personality usually will stay a lifelong.

Those people that solely rely on looks to judge a person are simply superficial and show weak characters.

You seem to have done what needs to be done to look physically attractive but have you also done your homework for the 3 most important aspects of yourself?

People can feel if a person lacks what is important in a relation and perhaps you give out this vibe that there is not much behind this shell of yours.

You state that you "... care about my fitness and health, dress well and pretty confident about my looks..." but you have not lost a single word about your intellect, personality and character. Those are the items you have to concentrate on and not your looks. Good luck.

[Nikki1989]

You should work on your personality and stop focusing on your looks.