Do women of colour get looked at as a sexual mark for white men?

[Notherndude84]

I went on a date a number of year back with an attractive African American woman, before we met she asked if I was only dating her to fulfill a sexual desire for an “exotic woman”. I’m wondering if this is a common thing?
To only want to hook up with someone to see what is like?

[Anonymous]

Going anon for this to avoid trolls and creepy replies.

Unfortunately, yes. I've had men of other races want to be with me just to say they slept with a black woman, like we're some kind of conquest or fetish.

For reference, I have no issues dating men of other races, and usually prefer to! But I'm careful not to get with a guy that only wants me for the color of my skin, because yeah, there are guys that just want to sleep with black women, yet don't want to commit or have a serious relationship.

Sad thing is, I've met white guys that would love to date black women/women of color, but are scared to because they're afraid of what others will say, have racist friends and family, or believe all the negative stereotypes about black women and assume we're all the same.

[Notherndude84]

I was a little surprised when she asked me if that’s what I was doing, but it sounds like she had some of the same experiences you had with white man looking for a sexual encounter with a black woman.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, it's sad but that is a justified concern with most black women when dating interracially.
We know not all men are like that! The problem is the ones are just after us for the color of our skin, give us trust issues. I'm glad you're not that a way; I hope she gives you a chance!

[Notherndude84]

She did, we dated for a year before she moved back to Atlanta, her mom was dying of cancer sadly

[menina]

I hate saying this but this is true for some white men. Many white men only want to have sex with black women so they can fulfill their disgusting sexual fantasies. They're not really interested in dating or marrying a black woman. They just want sex because they don't see black women as "good enough" for dating or marry. They believe that black women are sex objects, that they can use and then "throw away".

They're also ashamed of being seen with a black woman. So, I understand what your date meant.

I'm attracted to white men, but I don't want to date someone who only wants to have sex with an "exotic" woman.

[Notherndude84]

I didn’t get offended at the time and I tried to assure her I wasn’t looking for a one night stand to see what sex is like with a black woman. We dated for like a year or so before she moved back to Atlanta, sadly her mom was diagnosed with cancer. I was thinking about her and what she said just randomly, and wondered if other black/brown women had bad experiences with white men.

[menina]

It's good that you didn't get offended. I'm sure she didn't want to offend you, she was just trying to make sure that you were serious about her.
Sadly, many white men who go on dates with black women are not like you. So, as a black woman I know where she's coming from.
I'm sorry to hear that she moved back to Atlanta because her mother was sick. But if you guys dated for a year it's great. I can see that you liked her, instead of having a disgusting sex fantasy.

I've never been on a date but if I end up going to one with a white guy I'm going to ask him the same question.
Many black women experience this.

[Notherndude84]

We tried dating long distance but it didn’t work out, I went on a trip to NYC and fell in love with a woman from Belize.

[menina]

I understand, long distance relationships are hard. They're not for everyone.
That's great! Hope you're happy with her. :)

[Notherndude84]

She’s black/indigenous. I’ve seen people look at us together and give her dirty looks. I unfortunately live in a predominantly white place, lots of people seem to not approve of a brown woman being with a white guy

[menina]

I'm sorry to hear it. That must be sad. Unfortunately there are still some people who have a problem with interracial couples. But they're the ones who are wrong, not you and your girlfriend.

[Notherndude84]

Most people don’t care. There is always a few assholes or Karens.

[menina]

That's nice, but those kind of people are always a pain in the ass. 🙄🙄🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

[menina]

Thank you for the MHO.

[theREELZNEEZZ]

Yes.

So, relative to white women, all ethnic men get a 1-2 point ding to their attractiveness RIGHT OFF THE BAT. Straight off the top. Why is it like that? Seems obvious, but regardless, it's like that.

Now add to that the fact that, except for black women (and even there it's only a slim majority), all non-white women believe white men are most attractive (sad), and what do you have?

A huge boost for a white guy when dating non-white women. The reverse of the ethnic guy. He now gains 1 or 2 points. So yeah, why wouldn't non-white women be looked at as a sexual mark?

[SotiCoto]

Black girl White guy is one of the rarest pairings, if not the rarest. It wouldn't be inconceivable for someone to suspect ulterior motives.

That is a large part of why I haven't even tried, though there are plenty of attractive ladies of equatorial origins about. I just don't figure they'd be up for it with some pasty Celt.

[7Phoenix7]

Maybe by some. Where I live interracial relationships are far from taboo. It's normal... I've had white guys wanna date me with sincere intentions. The guys that were weird about it and looked at it like that were not white but something else and I won't mention as to not offend anyone.. oh and of course you have these gag men..

[NathanDavis]

I see women, as... women

never made it about race

[TenderFantasy]

If they allow it..

White men have some of the weirdest tastes lol. Granted, I've dated a few of them though lol, as an Asian person.

[sheikalana]

Not only for white men but for men in general. As a mixed raced women I’ve always been approached by my looks and not so much for what I have to offer. A lot of men fetishize mixed women.

[rigmarole]

What's exotic about someone who lives in the same city as you and probably grew up there?

[rigmarole]

Exotic: From another part of the world; foreign.

[Notherndude84]

I’m quoting what she said, but I think she was asking if I was only looking for sex with a black/brown woman

[rigmarole]

Well by exotic someone by default has to be a foreigner... So for example say some girl is on vacation from some remote place you have no real exposure to if that is even possible in this day and age with the internet and easy international travel, say she's hot, maybe she doesn't speak your language, and she shows up to a party and no one can speak her language, but you manage to sleep with her that night, then maybe you could call her exotic... Some random girl in your city is not exotic.

[rigmarole]

*by definition

[Notherndude84]

Her choice of words not mine. She was born in Atlanta so not foreign

[Joshydavid25]

Yeah, I'm sure it happens, although I don't usually hear a lot about that.. It's usually a lot of "Black" women feeling undesired than anything..

[Roudyrebel8]

I don't look at them that way

[AnusDestroyer3169]

No I dont think so