How to bring up the "are you still active on Tinder" question to the guy I'm seeing?

[Aurora567]

I've been seeing this guy I met on Tinder. We hit it off immediately and when we met for a first date the chemestry was obvious from both sides. We have had only 3 dates so far but it has been going great and it seems we can't get enough of each other while we're together.

However, I had my doubts on how serious he is and wether this is not only a fling to him (I asked him on our 3rd date whether he is in this only for sex and he said he isn't (also, I asked this question when we were making out and he was wanting to get intimate. His assurance was a reason I gave in (we didn't have sex but we did stuff in bed)).

So I opened my Tinder profile and saw that he has changed some of his pictures on his, thus, probably meaning that he is still looking around. It made me upset cause I feel like he should have said it to me while I asked the question on how serious he is.

So how can I bring this up in a playful and not-serious maneer? I don't want any big talks or dramas, but I feel like I was deceived and would like to understand what he is looking for exactly. Also, I admit I would like to still make things happen with this guy. Am I a fool for that?

Updates

+1 y

Would like to update my question by adding that the only reason I logged into my Tinder profile was to see any sings on whether he is still active on his. Sadly, I got the proof I was looking for : D... : (

I really like this guy and I thought he feels the same, so I'm not looking for anyone else at the moment. Perhaps, it was foolish.

[BoopBoopBeep]

If you haven't had an actual conversation about taking it to the level of a monogamous relationship, it doesn't matter nor is it any of your business if he's still on, especially since you found out he was still on by... logging into tinder.

"I'm not in this only for sex" is in no way synonymous with "let's be in a monogamous relationship". I"m not in it only for sex with you, with your friend, with your step sister and the girl next door. There are benefits to each of you, it's not JUST sex. See how that works?

You weren't deceived unless you're leaving out the part where he said "I"m not on tinder and I want a monogamous relationship with you." Barring that, you just heard what you wanted to hear as opposed to having the adult conversation about it. Now that you're going to have that adult conversation about it, I'd say certainly keep it light and non-accusatory, merely a "so where are we now" sort of conversation. Start that off with saying what YOU would like from the relationship, namely, that it progressed to a monogamous relationship/friends with benefits/whatever you want, precisely.

[Aurora567]

Thank you! Your response gave me some clarity.

I guess I failed to add that during this last date we had (the 3rd date), after we had been intimate, he said something like "I see you as a long-time partner". I remember that even then I had a funny feeling inside, like I didn't really believed him. Anyway, you are right in a way that nothing means "we are exclusive" unless these words have been said (since you can also been a long-time partner and not been exclusive at the same time, I guess).

I will try to bring this question up as efortless and non-accusatory as I can the next time I see him.
Still, the stupid feeling inside still remains.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I see you as a long term partner...

I see you as someone I can do business with. But until we ink the contract that means little.

Your gut is your gut. I can't speak to how accurate yours is, and I don't have a dog in the race either way, but seems a shame to throw away what you seem to enjoy over a early failure to be on the same page.

[Zestyassmf1997]

In English, ideally. I promise we don’t care that much.

[Paris13]

He may Not Know Or is Sure of Your Relationship Right Now. In The Midst of Dating and no Mating. Talk it Out on a Fourth or Five Date. I have Had guys Tell me to Please Get Rid of Some dating Sites I was On But Never Did Because One Never is Sure... lolxxoo

[Paris13]

Tanks, Gag. xxoo

[HelpfulWoman]

"hey, so if we're thinking of long term, do you want to deactivate your tinder as I do mine?"

-it NEEDS to be a serious talk if you want a serious answer.

[Anonymous]

Why would anyone date someone from Tinder. If that isn't a homogeneous red flag, I don't know what is.

[Danny_dan92]

Tell him you deleted yours, if he doesn’t comment then he hasn’t deleted his