What does it mean if he is still on Tinder at this point in our relationship?

Been dating a guy for two months now. Spend about two days a week with him... that is both of our free time. He calls me baby, takes me out all of the time, lalala... Yet he is still on Tinder. What does that mean? Should I tell him I know he is on Tinder? or should I ask him why?


Most Helpful Guy

  • What does it mean that you still walk out in society without a burka or hijab on?

    I mean seriously. Girls need attention and validation that they're sexually desirable, guys need attention and validation that they're sexually desirable. The only difference is that girls can just sit there and have guys give it to them, whereas guys have to make an effort first, get a girl interacting with him, and then just see if she's interested in him that way or not.

    Doesn't mean anything beyond him just trying to feel good about himself and see that he still has it (outside of just between you and him). If you want to turn it into something else so you can take that away from him because you're insecure or needy, or want to feel like you're the only one, then may I also suggest the following device:


    Now, you don't have to just limit yourself with having his emotional sense of well-being and feel-goodness on lock-down, you can also deprive him of sexual release unless you're in the mood, so that any pleasure he has in life is given exclusively through you. . . after all, that's the whole power trip you're suffering from isn't it? Want to be the exclusive gate-keeper to anything that makes him feel good?

    I think you need to get more comfortable with the idea that he actually prefers being with you as opposed to other people, so you don't need to resort to doing these things or feeling this way out of fear or insecurity, in order to have him prefer or want to be with you. If you let your fear and insecurity get the best of you, he "WILL" leave you.

    • He actually just asked someone out on a date on Tinder so I think it is pretty safe to say that he isn't just getting affirmation through being on the app.

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    • Not really, just that your bf took it a step further.

    • Guess you and him were just not meant to be, and you found out sooner rather than later. Thank you Tinder anyone?

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What Guys Said 2

  • Have you two agreed to be exclusive yet? If not, then you may want to have that talk if him on there is making you uncomfortable.

    If you HAVE had the talk, and he's STILL on there, you definitely need to tell him you know.

    • So pretty much he is seeing other people while being with me?

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    • That would show that i was curious and took the time to find out if he was on tinder lol. I dont feel like admitting to that._.

    • Then it sounds to me you need to decide if you two are serious enough. Because if you are, he needs to get off tinder. If you're scared of telling him you could always say a "friend" found you on there. But the fact you're scared to tell him tells me you aren't sure of him?

      For example, let's say I'm dating a girl and I'm tinder. She comes to me and says "Hey, I found you on tinder, why are you there? I don't like it" Well, one of two things can happen. If I'm really serious about the relationship I can say "ohh damn! I'm sorry it makes you uncomfortable, I didn't know." and I'll delete the account right away and that will be the end of it. Or, I can become defensive and say "Oh yeah? well why did you look for me on it? What difference does it make? I'm not meeting any of them in real life" and so on.

      See the difference? #1 takes your feelings into account, #2, makes ME the victim and puts the blame on you.

  • Social media has become a good route for deception with people today. I am not on Tinder but from what my friends say, it's used for hooking up. If he asked someone out then you are being played. People think cheating is strictly doing physical actions but that is not accurate. Cheating can be in different forms. I would break up with him or take a break, and take time to process this outside of being in the relationship. Do you really want to be with someone that is displaying this behavior? Just make sure your reading the signs and know that this is indeed a red flag that can spare you further heartbreak. Best of luck in this shitty situation he put you in.


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