Do you think it's too personal to share dessert with someone on first date?

[Anonymous]

I went on a date with a guy and we ordered one dessert, since two would be too much.

We both love desserts but I was a little unsure if I "should" share dessert with a guy on first date, but then I thought if people are kissing on first dates, I don't think eating desserts from the same plate/bowl would be any more personal than exchanging saliva with someone.

What are your thoughts?

Updates

3 mo

And what are methods to avoid sharing desserts with someone on first dates if you were going to have the desserts? Ice cream was tricky since it was semi liquid.

[AviatorTom]

Sharing a dessert is a fine way to get to know each other. You can each talk about how the dessert tastes, and compare your opinions.

If you're afraid of sharing germs, just stay on your half of the dessert.

[Asker]

For me it's not the germs, it's because I barely know the guy as it's just the first date, and to me, sharing desserts is something that couples do, not when people have just met each other for the first time. Unless anyone has done that with their first dates?

[Asker]

I have germs in my mouth and everybody does, and most species are probably going to be common with few exceptions. For example, not everyone carries Staphylococcus aureus.

[Beckybooboo]

I would at least get separate plates and cut it in half, depending on what you ordered, but yes, I think it is a little personal. I wouldn’t do that if I had been dating for a while. Taking a bite off someone’s plate to sample a dessert is one thing. I remember the first “real” date I ever went on, the guy told me to order more than I can eat, because he’ll finish what I don’t. I thought he was kidding but he wasn’t! When I said, “I can’t eat another bite”, he grabbed my plate and proceeded to lick it clean! Lol I actually thought it was funny, cute and strange at the same time. 😂😂

[rachel776]

if you are sharing dessert the date is going well

[Asker]

But it was because there was no other way to go about having the dessert 😄 I wasn't going to have one dessert by myself and he wasn't going to have one all by himself, so he ordered one and said I could have it too.

As someone who likes desserts, I wasn't going to turn down the opportunity (although a little unsure about eating from the same plate, cutting the same cake, scooping the same ice cream, etc.)

[Asker]

I feel that sharing desserts is more like something that couples would do, but I don't know how other people go about having one dessert when they go on first dates.

[Asker]

I think it's more of a symbol to me than the actual exchange or mixture of saliva, as I mentioned that I feel that sharing desserts is more like something that couples would do.

[OlderAndWiser]

I think that sharing a dessert is something which makes a couple feel closer, just like holding hands.

[Asker]

But when people are just dating, especially first dates, what are your thoughts on sharing desserts? And holding hands?

I've encountered guys that locked fingers with me on first dates when we were walking to my car.

[OlderAndWiser]

Guys do that because they want a sign that you aren't friend zoning them. It seems very harmless to me, but I enjoy holding hands.

[Asker]

I understand that perspective, just now. Thank you for sharing that insight.

Including finger locking on first date is acceptable on first date?

[OlderAndWiser]

I almost never hold hands like that. I think it's more gentle for a female if I hold hands in the usual manner.

[Asker]

I've been finger locked by more than one guy, so I can't say that it's just one guy being forward 😄 but I'm guessing that's not something common among guys, since I know that you don't do that.

[OlderAndWiser]

Perhaps I'll post a poll on that subject.

[BoopBoopBeep]

You're sharing a dessert, not a kidney. You'll be okay.

[Phoenix98]

If y'all were both ok with it then I don't really see the big deal.

[chilldude33]

isn't the point of dates to get personal? lol

[Asker]

I think it's to get to know each other 😄 before getting personal with someone suitable.

[LazerBean]

It definitely would be for me, sounds unsanitary.

[Asker]

I agree, since I don't know the person yet, but then people are kissing each other on first dates? I guess go figure 😅

[Asker]

Can you expand on how sharing food is unsanitary in your definition?

For me it's more because I don't know how a guy's hygienic habits are, if he was not hygienic, I would not prefer to eat food with his saliva on it, but not because of STDs since STDs are generally not transmitted through sharing food.

[LazerBean]

Right, plus many illnesses can be transmitted from saliva.

[Asker]

Which illnesses?

[LazerBean]

Girl what do you mean? Herpes, flu, covid, strep, etc... literally hundreds of illnesses. Google

[Asker]

I'm sure Google will also yield results that STDs are not transmitted through sharing food.

People don't get flu from someone that does not have flu. Of course, if someone was coughing and showing respiratory illnesses, then yeah it would be risky to share food with them.

[Asker]

I only asked you which illnesses to see what your answers are.

[LazerBean]

I didn't say anything about STDs so that's irrelevant. Most diseases have an incubation period where the diseased person is contagious days before they show any symptoms of being ill. A person is contagious with flu before they even know they are sick, so yeah there's always risk.

[Asker]

I saw that you listed herpes, which is an STD. I don't think risk of passing herpes is high with sharing food, kissing yess that's direct contact, even if people don't show lesions they can still shedd the virus.

But then that's with anybody. If you have a partner who's sick and you share food with or kiss your partner. You can also get sick from your partner. How would that be different from sharing food on first date? 🤔

Since people probably aren't tested for flu, COVID, RSV, strep, etc. everyday so if even it's your partner, you may not know if your partner were carrier of any of these.

[LazerBean]

There are several types of herpes, not all are an STD. And it's different because you are going to know where your partner has been and who they've been in contact with. That is not the case on a first date.

[Ashley1993]

Nope it's cute

[Anonymous]

Not unless you're feeding each other

[Asker]

Hmm okay, I guess I feel a little better 😆 Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Yes, that's a bit much on a first date.

[Asker]

But kissing on first date is okay?

I was told (and even received extreme reaction) that it was unreasonable of me to not kiss guys on first dates. But eating from the same plate is not okay?

[Opinion Owner]

No, kissing is not ok either.

[Asker]

But I think for your age range is different. If I was in my early 20's then I can act a little innocent. At my age people think that I'm ridiculous if I don't kiss a guy who's not my boyfriend.

[Roudyrebel8]

Absolutely not. I love sharing my food