Boyfriend lied to me?

[Anonymous]

Hi all, my boyfriend had a couple long term relationships. He has been suggesting we get married and get an apartment together. I asked him if he suggested this with anyone else, and he said no. So I felt special. I come to find out he has suggested this with every girlfriend- and I am hurt. How do I handle this? I understand that people fall in love and have been with other people and want to be with other people. But why lie about it? Please give me advice for how to proceed?

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh sis, that really sucks he lied to you like that. Breaking your trust is never okay. I completely understand why you'd feel hurt hearing he pulled the same commitment talk with exes too.

As tempting as it may be, try not to compare yourself to past relationships or feel like "just another girlfriend" - you're your own beautiful person. But this is definitely something you need to address head on.

I'd say have an honest conversation with him about why he lied when you asked directly before. Give him a chance to own up to it and do some real listening. Pay attention to how he responds - is he genuinely apologetic or trying to downplay it?

If he seems remorseful and willing to be open going forward, you could consider working past this with caution. But lying is a red flag sis, so don't hesitate to stand up for yourself either. You deserve someone who makes you feel truly special and trusted.

Stay strong - you got this girl! Take some time if needed too. Your feelings are valid so don't brush this off. You got this sis!

[ChicoFromThe305]

You gotta know that when someone falls in love and go out with each other, they should always have the idea of being together forever in mind, if they don't then they are being played, he lied to keep you feeling special cause I'm sure he wants you to feel that way

[Asker]

I understand that- but I’m not a ridiculous person. It’s ok to be honest, I even told him about when a man asked me to marry him- and he got really mad. But for him he can do and lie about anything it’s really frustrating.

[ChicoFromThe305]

One thing I will say is lying is bad and there's no valid reason for it to be in a relationship, maybe try helping him get through his lying issues

[laly520]

liars would keep on lying

if he is able to lie once then he will lie twice

[slatyb]

Dump him. He's not serious -- he will feel like he is in love with any woman who pays him any attention. Then he will discover that you are an actual person with expectations, not his fantasy dream girl, and that will be it.

[Asker]

That’s what I’m worried about been together almost 2 years and so many lies

[lightbulb27]

that's sad. shame and fear does terrible things to a person. they will lie.

ask him if he's ever lied. ask him why people lie?

[Asker]

I’ve caught him in lies before. A lot of them are little white lies- but he completely blew it off and said everyone is in love and other people live together and get divorces etc. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable or cruel- but it’s really unfair to me to be finding this out later. I feel like he’s just a serial monogamist…