Do guys like outgoing or shy girls? And why?

Question

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Some guys definitely have a preference for one or the other, but most guys don't really care either way - whether she's shy or outgoing just isn't an important factor to them.

HOWEVER, shy people are always at a disadvantage, simply because it's always harder to establish any kind of relationship (romantic or otherwise) with a shy person. The reason is because a shy person will behave exactly like a person who isn't interested in you at all - even if the shy person is actually VERY interested. If a guy goes up to talk to a shy girl, she'll probably look away, will barely speak, and may run out of the room or otherwise avoid him (the reverse could be just as true, with a girl and a shy guy). In this situation, the guy is almost always going to assume that the girl wants nothing to do with him, when in reality, she's just painfully shy. Most people naturally assume the worst, so the guy is always going to assume "disinterest" over "she's just shy." That's why it's harder to establish a relationship in the first place.

Once he could get past the establishment of the relationship, she'll become more comfortable around him and less shy, and whatever shyness remains, he'll be much more likely to understand, so long-term, this usually isn't a problem. It's just the beginning that's really difficult.

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

I do like both... for their own ways of being too

ohsheeT · Answer

i like both time and place for everything

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Answer

I'm thoroughly incompatible with shy and/or reserved women. They don't have to be the most outgoing but they can't be shy or reserved.

A lot of it might be explained by my MBTI profile as ENFP for people who put any stock into MBTI: https://www.16personalities.com/enfp-personality

>> It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

For both my closest friends as well as dates (when I was a bachelor), I became drawn most to people who are completely open books, unafraid to share the deepest and most vulnerable aspects of themselves in what I like to call "soul-sharing" conversations promoting the highest level of empathy and mutual understanding.

This type of deep, soulful, vulnerable information is generally not the type of information shy and reserved people volunteer very freely. We have to yank it out of them like a dentist pulling teeth.

I'm also a chatterbox but I actually enjoy listening to people more than talking as paradoxical as it sounds. I like to chat a lot and share a lot of deep and vulnerable things about myself but with the hope that the other person reciprocates. I know to pause in person to give the other person a chance to talk, even prompting them with questions if they don't speak so freely, and self-aware enough to avoid dominating conversations.

Yet with the shy women I dated early on (before I realized how incompatible I am with them), I would pause with the hopes that they'd share something and they wouldn't speak. So I'd start having to ask a lot of questions, but then they give me the shortest, conversation-stopping answers. Then I end up inevitably doing my extremely uneven share of the talking, and I really dislike that. It puts me at a disadvantage since I shared all these things about myself but she barely shared anything about herself.

Meanwhile, I found myself most compatible with women who are so open and so freely share things about themselves that, even in our earliest conversations, I start to feel like I've known them my entire life. That was the case of my wife as well as all my best lifelong friends. You get the impression like you know almost everything there is to know about them just after a few, very soulful conversations.

Anonymous · Answer

When I first met my current girlfriend she was really shy and quiet and I kinda liked that about her. I wasn't the most confident at the time so it made her much less intimidating and I felt like I could relate to her. We first met each other when we were 15 though and now we're 21 and we've changed a lot over the years. I feel like we've kinda brought each other out of our shells because we're both a lot more outgoing and loud now, me a little bit more so than her. She still has her quieter side which I love, but it's much more enjoyable being with someone energetic and sociable like she is now.

HawkPerception · Answer

When I was younger I used to think I preferred shy girls, because I was shy myself and felt I would relate to them. But after dating a while and having many social interactions, I learned it's always more fun to be around an outgoing girl that's not afraid to speak her mind and share her opinions freely. I'm introverted. I'm literally an INTP, but when it comes to socializing, I have no issues with it. I have no problem speaking my mind and keeping a conversation going. I learned that I prefer the same quality in a girl. Someone that I don't have to be patient with and wait a year to break down her walls and get her to open up.

yepdonethat · Answer

That's all very dependent on the guy. Some guys like shy girls because they are very dominant. I for one don't like shy girls because they don't seem honest and up front about their feelings. I like real women, who are strong and tell me what they want, whether that is relationship or sex. Warrior women, that's what I like. Even though I am dominant, I like a dominant woman who is open and up front about everything. And someone who has a thick skin. Shy girls are also usually very bad sexually and I like my woman to be very open, forward, and aggressive about sex. Again, all depends on the guy.

Drew-1990 · Answer

I like both honestly, I like shy because it is easier for me to chat with her being shy myself. But also like outgoing I feel like a girl like that will bring me out of my shell more. Be nice to find the outgoing girl that likes shy guys and just drags me alone for the ride lol

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

It all depends on the guy. Some guys like shy women because they find them easier to talk to. Some guys like outgoing women just because of the energy they bring. I'm a naturally shy person myself (always have been since birth) but I don't have anyone come up to me so I can't say. But I think if a guy really does like you, that he'll take time to get to know you. Whether you're shy or not.

Anonymous · Answer

lol they say they do, but when they actually try to date a shy girl, the guy ends up ghosting because they don't have the patience.

BlissfullyCurSed · Answer

I like fun gyals🤣🤣🤣.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Outgoing could mean party girl or boss b*tch. Both of those are immediate red flags. I don't want someone who is going to say 4 words all night either.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Different people like different things. When you say "out going", if you mean girls with a "big personality" (loud, obnoxious, rude), the answer is a solid NO.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Outgoing, because at least I can get a read on what they're thinking/feeling. I've had nothing but awful experiences with shy girls. There's just too much guess work and ambiguity where there simply doesn't need to be.

Billlewis · Answer

I much prefer an outgoing woman, because she's more likely to have a dominant personality.

Cody2004 · Answer

outgoing girls are way too hard to tease and not in that weird way I just mean literally mess with them lol

RebelinSteel · Answer

Outgoing as if they are fully on shy it’s a lot of work and I really can’t be arsed trying too hard.

Subflics · Answer

Outgoing enough where I'm not sending her the first message or making the first move every, single, time. Shy enough so she's not misunderstood as flirting

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Outgoing but within balance. Shy women just don't do it for me.  I like my woman that is confident in herself, engaging and commutative, not a wall or one that shuts down personality.

Starrrboy · Answer

I used to mainly prefer shy girls, but I'm not sure anymore.. the other ones are just so appealing and honestly way less confusing lol..

Jennz6 · Answer

I’m shy and submissive and guys love me. That’s what I like about GaG, I am mostly anonymous

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

I've always been more attracted to shy ones cause over all they are easier to talk too sometimes

CozyCoffin · Answer

Depends on the guy. I like outgoing more as a shy guy.

Kelly6 · Answer

Every guy is different , can’t answer for all

MysticDevice · Answer

I prefer shy girs cause its a better match for my level of energy.

Yannae · Answer

Shy. I am an introvert myself and I get along better with other introverts.

SolitarySolace · Answer

If I were stupid enough to start dating again I'd prefer shy girls.

VV3ZZY123 · Answer

I like both! As long as they are nice and not mean!

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t have a preference. As long as she isn’t obnoxious

JayBones · Answer

I like outgoing girls by far. I married a shy girl with social anxiety though. Whoops.

clampfan101 · Answer

I’m fine with either so long as we can communicate well with each other.

Anonymous · Answer

Shy I don't know why  Maybe because they feel so cute and feminine

Blacksnake285 · Answer

Depends but outgoing girls show you that they’re into you more so maybe outgoing but I like shy girls as well

Dreamclouds · Answer

Yes it is nice to have someone who can speak her vibration

riverrat3 · Answer

Shy girls, most shy girls are more fun once they learn to trust you

whistlingwh0res · Answer

Men love themselves ONLY so they like someone who love them more than they love themselves to fulfil their ego

sawno · Answer

Outgoing / Enthousiastic

jjj101010 · Answer

For me it depends on the girl

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

They like both types!

itsclearlynicholas · Answer

I like women who are reserved outgoing. 🙂👀

OtterMan68 · Answer

shy. They are usually less talkative and obnoxious

Worst · Answer

I like people similar to myself, so shy

PrincessFlora · Answer

Both depends on the guy

dolemite58 · Answer

Somewhere in between the two

jahaims · Answer

Depends on the guy

slatyb · Answer

Yes, we do.

lildkman1010 · Answer

Both honestly.

Do guys like outgoing or shy girls? And why?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do guys like shy girls or outgoing girls?

Do guys like outgoing or shy girls? And why?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do guys like shy girls or outgoing girls?

We're glad to see you liked this post.