Why does a guy that you didn't date follow you on social media years after no contact?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Probably saw your profile in his suggestions and followed you. If you didn’t end on bad terms or there’s no bad blood, I wouldn’t see a reason for him not you follow. It’s just such a casual thing, I have people from my contact list I haven’t talked to in ages still pop up and some I have followed for no good or bad reason.

[Asker]

We definitely ended on bad terms. Our last interaction was heated. He was very cringe with the things he said. However that was years ago.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh man, honestly if he was mainly at fault then I’m not surprised he followed you on social media. He may not even care much about the fallout any more. You in the other hand would have much more grounds for confusion if you were mainly on the receiving end in that argument.

[Asker]

Absolutely, I think he still cares. He occasionally likes what I post, and he sent me a message. He probably is remorseful and wants to apologize. I was on the receiving of most of it and it confused me because it came out of nowhere.
Currently I left him on delivered because I'm unsure if I should respond to him. However I did follow him back and I wonder if that was the smartest decision.

[Opinion Owner]

You are probably right and in that case I wouldn’t respond anymore. It’s not your job to ease his conscience or make him feel better. It’s not about having resentment or a grudge towards him either, you’ve just moved on from that time in your life and felt no need to revisit it.

[Asker]

Yep you're right. I guess I should unfollow him because honestly what purpose does it serve being connected even if it's just social media

[Booklover_90]

Perhaps he wants to reconnect. Don’t over analyze this.

[Asker]

What if I don't want to talk to him? Do I still follow him back?

[Booklover_90]

You’re not obligated to follow him back. If you don’t wish to reconnect, block him.

[Asker]

Would it be a bad idea to follow back?

[Booklover_90]

Okay. I’m confused. Do you want to reconnect with him or not?

[Asker]

It depends what you mean by reconnecting. By following him back I would just be reciprocating a gesture. If by reconnecting you mean talking again I don't want to do that.

[Booklover_90]

Honestly, you can do what you want in this situation. Personally, if I didn’t want to reconnect with someone in any way, shape, or form, I would decline follows and friend requests. But hey, that’s just me. Either way, take care. 😊

[Drew-1990]

Couple reasons honestly if you were close once he may miss the friendship or wants to add you for old times sake. He could hope to reconnect if you liked you or something. Or he finds you cute, we guys have a bad habit of following cute girls just to see their pics.

[Asker]

We were never that close although we used to talk a lot. He definitely still likes me. He gave me a compliment and sent me a message. I was nervous to follow him back because I knew he would reach out. I'm unsure if responding to his message is a good idea.

[Drew-1990]

If you are not interested in this guy, please let him know, tell him you're not interested in dating him. I know it from experience what it's like to be lead on whether the girl meant to or not. It sucks tremendously. It's fine if you're not interested in him. I just say please for his sake let him know that as awkward as that conversation will be.

[Asker]

If I'm not interested in him, I shouldn't follow him back?

[Drew-1990]

If you haven't followed him back yet, yes I would say don't follow him back, they'll give him false hope. If you have then You should just let him down easy as you can. If he doesn't accept that block him.

[Asker]

What if I just ignore his messages?

[Drew-1990]

I would respond at least once and tell him you're not interested. If he keeps pushing then either just ignore him and/or block him. But don't leave him hanging without at least telling him you're not interested, that's not fun for anyone.

[Asker]

He asked me if my phone number was the same. I told him yes and then he proceeded to ask if he could text me. I ignored that text because I was unsure. Do you think I should've responded even if the answer was no?

[Drew-1990]

Yes, as I've already said, you need to let the guy down. It would have been better never to respond to his friend request at all. But you did so you should just tell him no and you are not interested.

[Asker]

I understand everything you said and I appreciate your response. If he is currently not messaging me why would I message him out of nowhere just to let him down?

[Drew-1990]

How long has it been since he's messaged you last?

[Asker]

Probably like 2-3 months ago

[Drew-1990]

Oh then let it go, you already ghosted him. If he ever reaches out again, let him down. But at this point yeah don't send him a message just leave it be.

[Asker]

Is it technically ghosting if we never dated?

[Drew-1990]

I think it is because he did try talking to you. Personally, I think if you're talking to someone and they stop responding to you, that's ghosting doesn't matter why you were talking.

[Asker]

Got it. Thanks a lot for your responses, it was really helpful.

[Drew-1990]

Your welcome I'm glad to give advice

[spartan55]

If it bothers you block him.

[Asker]

It doesn't bother me because I moved on. Would it make sense to follow him back?

[spartan55]

You are talking about following like it's some big deal. If you want to, do it.

[Asker]

It might be the biggest deal but it definitely means something

[Asker]

Not*

[spartan55]

Like what, what do YOU think it means?

[Asker]

It has to mean something if you follow someone otherwise you wouldn't follow anyone or you would follow everyone.

[spartan55]

Hmm mmm... this may shock you but everything doesn't 'mean' something. Especially when it concerns social media which is a false reality.