How much does alcohol effect your dating and relationships?

[KrakenAttackin]

I don't drink anymore and I notice it does effect dating. I notice how many women (and men) center much of their social life around drinking alcohol (clubs, bars, parties).

Updates

+1 y

When I did drink I never invited a girl for "drinks", as the alcohol clouded judgement. Today I wouldn't date a girl who drank more than the occasional glass of wine. Too many dating profiles are filled with pics of people drinking IMHO.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I depended on it way too much in my early-mid 20s, getting all my dates and friends in drinking settings like hotel bars and nightclubs.

I did have to travel all the time for my work, often ending up in a brand new city in a company-rented hotel room. So on weekends, I'd just venture out of my hotel room downstairs to the hotel bar and see if I could meet anyone there. If not, go bar-hopping, maybe ask around for the whereabouts of a nightclub, and head to the nightclub.

Didn't exactly find the best dates that way although I made a few good friends along the way. The lapse in judgment from alcohol doesn't help us select the best people to date and, with the loud music, it usually only allows us to discover some intoxicated chemistry at best. I remember going on some dates the following days and thinking, "Who are you?" I had her number in my pocket and called her but I barely remembered her looks and she seemed like a completely different person after both of us were sober. 😅

After I stopped moving all over the place though and settled down in Tokyo, I started spend time in more wholesome places: more "daylife" and less nightlife, like picnics, barbecues, home parties, maybe a quiet cozy bar here and there together with friends but not a rowdy nightclub where we could barely hear each other speak.

Found my wife that way at a picnic (she was a friend of a friend).

[KrakenAttackin]

@GuyAnswersGirls123. This is exactly what I am talking about. Thanks for a solid answer.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Cheers! I did end up continuing to drink here and there after I met my wife, although at more wholesome settings and not getting smashed.

My wife also drinks but she's extremely good at moderating her alcohol, often completely satisfied with a glass of wine or two after dinner before she dozes off.

Over the pandemic though, I started drinking at home for the very first time. That was a horrible idea. Started with a few beers after dinner and started working towards drinking whole bottles of whiskey at home.

So just recently quit drinking completely. Going towards 4 months completely sober now. Even managed to resist on a rowdy New Year's Party although it felt weird being one of the few sober people at the entire party.

[Jmmmfi4]

I DON'T REALLY DRINK

[RebelinSteel]

I some times drink, usually not as I’m the one driving, which means no nice red wine with the meal etc. One of the society problems and this does greatly depend on where you live, is most dating is done after work, it’s gone 18:00 and you have very limited places to go, again depend on where you live. I live rural and have the option of local pubs or restaurants, if I am happy to drive a 100 mile round trip, I can do a movie or maybe the theatre. Even when I’m in a city, it’s bars, clubs or restaurants, yes easier to get to theatre, movies etc, however both of those get very sameish after a while. There is defintely less drinking here as the number of pubs and clubs closing down is fairly drastic. In the first half of 2023, about 400 pubs shut down, more than 2022, it’s expect this year even more will follow.
I have never really chatted and flirted with girls when drunk, it’s far more fun sober.

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2023/sep/18/pub-closures-rise-sharply-amid-warning-over-planned-business-rate-change

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/brexit-pubs-closed-clubs-london-nightlife-b2329008.html

[exitseven]

I used to drink a lot. I dated some questionable women a couple of times. I dated a bar tender once. Her whole life was based on drinking and partying. She knew all the local bars and clubs and used to go out not only on the weekends but often she would want me to come out with her during the week when i had class the next day.

[bobby_bush_eater]

Depends where you're going to meet people I suppose. In most social circles you'll probably have to explain it over and over and get used to those environments or find new ones.

My old college roommate quit (he drank a lot) and he'd still go out with us but you could tell he didn't enjoy it. He slowly started hanging out less and less doing other things. I understood his perspective

[DextroShade]

I drank too much when I was younger but eventually just got sick of it so now I drink only rarely. It definitely causes problems in relationships because it makes people more irrational and impulsive. I prefer to just do some weed at night after I am done with all my work instead because there is no acting stupid and no hangovers.

[Billlewis]

It makes me bolder when I'm interested in someone.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Billlewis. Yeah it does for all of us which is why so many men and women drink. Sans alcohol I think the whole dating scene changes -- for the better.

[Billlewis]

Yes, Sir, I agree.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Billlewis. I also think dating someone who doesn't t drink is MUCH less stressful. There is no consideration about drinking/driving, misinterpreted communication, drunken "mistakes", or other bad judgement issues while drinking.

I am not being "moral", just stating a new found preference.

[FunkyMonkee]

Not at all, as long as she doesn't drink, or at least doesn't drink more than one or two per night.
I don't drink.

[Likes2drive]

Yeah I hardly drink and you can’t really just go to a club or bar and not drink to meet anyone

[LiamJHayden]

It never has for me.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Not at all. Its not something I do often

[maj1nall]

Oh, that's when I shit, man.

[KrakenAttackin]

10-9?

[maj1nall]

10-100. I pushed away perfect women because of this shit

[maj1nall]

Womens*

[KrakenAttackin]

Ok, that makes more sense. As a younger man I felt compelled to drink to meet girls and I notice how many girls drink a lot. Now that I don't drink the amount of alcohol surrounding dating seems enormous.

[maj1nall]

Cmon, man. You don't have to drink for Date. She's not from another world. She's a human being.

[KrakenAttackin]

I am aware, which is why I asked the question.

[worldscolide]

None, I don't drink