Of course. It's an addiction just like with drugs. Actually alcohol IS a drug lol. Thing is, a lot of people are ANGRY drunks and sometimes, they loose their inhibitions and when that happens, they have already lost their self control. Just like in smoking. Pretty soon they are addicted to the alcohol to numb their pain in life. Just like with smoking, pretty soon they are smoking ten packs a day! And everyone already knows that DUI can get you in legal driving trouble! Also, everyone knows that smoking is bad for your health. I have already seen videos at school and in textbookks (Medical and Social) how bad the long-term effects of both smoking and alcohol can be on the body! Eventually you will either have black or dark lungs (maybe not as bad as Minning Lungs but still real bad). You're liable to get Liver Cancer and Cirrhosis of the Liver (like Liver Scarring I believe) where your lungs get holes in them and aren't able to absorb as much dirt and debris in the air, something like that. It's really sad! Then, you'll either need a Liver Transplant and you will look thinly sick because your body can't get enough oxygen, you'll probably be on an oxygen machine just to breathe! Necrosis is not a joking matter. It's suffering physically and you'll probably cough a lot, with some blood! That happens to your lungs when you smoke, and maybe that can happen with your liver too (your liver cells will die) or that organ will shrink. Very sad. Premature death awaits you.
Depends on what kind of alcoholic they are.
One of my husbands is close if not already according to the definition of one of the other answers here of 37 drinks a week. But, if he is an alcoholic, he's a very high-functioning one who doesn't really get that drunk from drinking a lot of drinks. He's not addicted either. That might really change things...
He can drink about 6 or more drinks a day before he starts to show any behavioral changes. He probably has a high tolerance. When his behavior does finally change, he just gets little silly or more laid back, relaxed, and open.
He mostly drinks to relax after work, enjoy his beers because he's a really big fan of beers, and help with his back pain that doctors have had trouble fixing. He's still a very hard working, workaholic, family man. He's been incredibly responsible. Goes to work just like he's supposed to comes home. Does home projects, fixes everything, takes care of everyone. There have been 0 problems. So, if he's an alcoholic, then I'm more than happy to stay within the rest of our lives. Ha ha
But, they gave him pain meds for his back yesterday so no more alcohol for awhile.
I hate alcohol, so I can't really relate. Also, I couldn't be with someone who tried to push it on me, made us broke over it, and made bad decisions or who became a worse person on alcohol.
On one hand, yes, it's completely a dealbreaker, but I wouldn't totally dismiss or rule out someone who was aware they were an alcoholic and actively working on their addiction. I dated a woman who was an alcoholic and I was totally in love with her, she was amazing but I couldn't handle her addiction, and I didn't confront her about it, I just let her go. I feel bad now that I wasn't more upfront and confrontational about it, but I didn't feel it was my place at the time since we were just getting to know each other and in the honeymoon phase.
I heard through the grapevine a while back that she was doing well and off the grid, so I'm happy for her if that's the case.
My mom was a recovering alcoholic/addict, I grew up going to NA and AA meetings. I could be okay dating someone if they were doing something like that, focused on making their lives better and staying away from their addiction.
u If they are still drinking, it is an immediate dealbreaker for me and it should be for anyone else. Active alcoholics are self-obsessed, blame others for all of their woes, act impulsively, and are sometimes dangerously violent. If you think you can convince a potential partner to stop drinking, you may not believe this, but you can't!
If they have stopped drinking, they still have all of the problems which led them to drink excessively and a recently "recovered" alcoholic can be almost as irritating as one who is still drinking.
Some alcoholics stop drinking by substituting AA for alcohol. They go to AA meetings at 7 am and again at 7 pm. Every word out of their mouth sounds like an AA truism and the only friends in their circle are other "friends of Bill W."
I was married to a recovered alcoholic. It didn't work; lesson learned.
Opinion
57Opinion
If they are doing it everyday and they can’t control themselves, then yes it’s a deal breaker , if they just like to drink here and there , and don’t get out of hand with it then It wouldn't bother me to much considering I like to drink some beers and unwind here and there. So it mainly comes down to how addicted they are to alcohol
Nah my husband has had a drinking problem on and off throughout our years of being married. I know how to support and help him through it so it's not to bad
Well , more tricky question than it appears..
Technically , I am an alcoholic ( 37 STNDARD dinks a week ) So , 2 bottles of Gin 700ml @ 40% proof is 42 drinks , I'm right on the cusp , but of course I have a ridiculous tolerance too , Now if I stated same to all the people here who knew me , they would laugh , and say I'm the most disciplined.
Now , would I tolerate a woman who went me , drink for drink? No way , she'd be a blubbering mess , and she simply could not tolerate that volume , impossible , fortunately most women here do not drink at all , normally its zero.
So , in the way in which I actually read the question the answer would be a big YES.
A deal breaker far as, I did all I could to sober them up, but if they're not ready to do so there's nothing you can do to sober them up, and that's same with any addiction, or disorder, unless a person is willing and ready to quit on their own there's nothing you can do, threaten them, deprive them, in the end it's not going to do any good, now alcoholics, comes in many forms of people, functional jolly, angry, I know people who are functional alcoholic, get up in morning go to work just as normal as any one sober except, they will have a few drinks on the way to work and perform their duties normally, you got those who, after a few drinks just as jolly as Santa clause have you laughing your ass offs at stories they spin, then you have the angry ones who after drinking relives a bitter past, can become violent, unstable, p personally I would not remain with someone who is an alcoholic, I did with the guy my mom married and though he's dead still don't like his ass
Si, I don’t think any type of addiction is a green light for me. A relationship needs stability and a person must be able to be willingly to work on themselves as an individual/couple to be in a solid relationship. It doesn’t take away that they may be a great person, but maybe they’re not ready for a mature relationship because they may need to develop healthier life choices, functionality, and coping first. It can really add problems into a relationship if they’re unable to find help for themselves first.
Although I drink often myself a little more than advised, I know very well the dangers in a relation of an alcoholic partner. Plain destructive in general: denial, drinking in secret, lies, hiding bottles, etc. Things may be different if that partner really wants to get cured of their alcoholism. To understand my statement one must keep in mind that in most cases alcoholism is a form of slow suicide, or at least a flight from reality, whether consciously or not. In any case an alcoholic needs help, without being judged, and getting cured remains possible for a motivated patient.
As a 20 something, (22) single guy I went to a "Parents Without Partners" meeting and met one of the most beautiful women I have ever had in my life. I remember her clearly to this day. On the first date, she drank too much, and was crying at nights end. I was clearly disturbed by that and it continued for several months until I could not tolerate it any longer. I told her to please get in a program, and she refused to do it. She was a few years older (30) and had a very young daughter. I regretfully ended the relationship, and it broke my heart.
I stayed in my apartment for several years after, and one night, late, the phone rang, and it was "Carol". She told me she was driving drunk, involved in a wreck, almost killed her young daughter, and WAS NOW in a program, and living in Florida. I was in Ohio.
Flattering for her to call me then, but sadly, too late for our relationship.
My dad was a nasty drunk throughout my childhood I seen how it made him become a whole different person then when he was sober... when he sober he was very kind and unbothered but drink the mist blunt straight up disrespectful ass man I ever lived to see so... I say sometimes but honestly if it becomes an addiction rather than just something to do for fun then it's a deal breaker
m Any addiction is, I had a relationship with a girl who was hooked on drugs, even though she said she was not. But when your food money and bus money is going on drugs, then it’s we’ll time to seek help, that was where problems started and is why it is very hard to have a stable relationship with anyone with an addiction.
That's true. I just point out alcoholism because it seems that too many people don't see it as an addiction as bad as hard drugs. I recently broke up with someone who drank too much myself, and it had me insecure if I did the right thing
Breaking up is never easy to do… but when you feel you have to, you really must be quick and just act.
Yes it would be, but not necessarily if they were a recovered alcoholic.
I say that because I discovered early into a relationship with a woman I loved with all my heart and admired for overcoming the extreme tribulations of her childhood was a recovering alcoholic. She had kicked alcohol but you never overcome the addiction. You just have to stay away from alcohol.
She was determined to be successful and had become an extraordinary woman.
A drink now and then out on but no pissed everyday thats no the kinda guy I would like. Have a wee drink now and then with him in the house or at a wee local pub or restraunt night out but if he gets pissed everyday fuck that he's gone no my type a guy. no one guy or women wants a alcoholic for a lover
yes and that includes other drugs as well. I also don't get into relationships with cannibals, although I think could trust a cannibal better than a drug addict. Anyone that does, is out of their minds or has an issue with loving wounded souls and doesn' tknow their own strength because the drug and soothing their underlying wound is more important than anything else in the world.
Unless someone has been in long-term recovery, I wouldn't consider a relationship with them. Alcoholism is a wicked problem and it's lifelong. Recovery rates from various groups are around 50 percent, which means a whole half of alcoholics don't make it.
I'd have to know that person long enough to know what I was in for, and know how long they've been sober, and what their support systems were to help them stay sober.
I drink socially (whenever I'm having a family get together or out with friends) and that's not often. I think drinking with a partner is also fun. People always tend to like being around people that are in similar states of mind and experiencing the same thing as them. That's why drug use could potentially be a bonding experience. I don't do drugs, but I have tried shrooms a few times and I think it would definitely be a fun experience with a partner.
Whether alcoholism is a dealbreaker in a relationship varies from person to person and depends on individual values and boundaries. It often depends on the individual's tolerance for and ability to cope with the challenges associated with alcoholism. It's a complex issue that can have different implications for different people and relationships.
I dated an alcoholic woman only because she was attractive. I dated her for four months and I could see her health deteriorate. She was losing weight. Acting out in public and embarassing me. And her first priority was always her addiction. She kept forgetting things and even threw up on a date so I had to break it off.
It is a deal breaker for me unless the person has at least a year or more of sobriety and is active in AA or other 12-step programs. Alcoholism is a terrible disease with terrible consequences and I would not want to be involved with somebody who is not caring for themselves in regard to this.
''When I asked this question, I didn't realize there was a quantifiable definition which some people can and cannot tolerate. For the purposes of this poll, an alcoholic would be someone who drinks regularly and heavily enough to impact their daily life.'' -- AND, WILL ABUSE AND EVENTUALLY KILL THEM!!!
The unfortunate truth
I am an alcoholic and want the answers... now excuse me while I read these below me right now on a thread. Don't mind that I'm playing with my Weiner. It's just my nervous twitch.
I read down far enough... I drink just to sleep. I don't fight anyone or cause drama... I wait until it's close to needing to be asleep and... well... let us look at me right now. I'm not at a party or doing anything spectacular really. I'm in front of a computer typing this, in a basement under the ground, took 3 Benadryl, and almost though a 10% six pack. The thing is I'll wake up tomorrow around 3am to 5:30am and I'll lift weights, get a kid to school, dick one or more women down during the day, and then I'm back to the next night where I know I need to wake up... so I drink and combine it with benadryl... I realize other men my age would talk shit about how bad I am, but they don't raise their body count by 5 every week like I do. You gonna take their blue pilled pussy pink advice or mine... and mine is do what you can handle and handle what you can do.
Just thinking on it as I continue to read... most of these dudes that really hate alcohol, don't get laid but once or twice a year by different women at best. Add my numbers given up over a year... just do it... You gonna take their advice or mine. Take theirs if you want to live forever... without any pussy.
Reading this was a trip, and if it's real I'm honestly pretty impressed with how open you are- Uhm, I don't think I could have any "bitches on my dick" for obvious lack of aforementioned penis but it's actually interesting to hear from an alcoholic. You do you dude.
Thanks, I type like 95+ words a minute and just let shit flow from my brain. It's morning here and I'm drinking. Shit just flows better in this state of mind. Yeah, you won't get "bitches on your dick" like me, but you're a chick and you'll get pretty much get every dick you seek out... I didn't pay attention to the gender difference.
Ask me anything... I'll tell you how it is. My vision shifts from left to right as if I'm watching life through a slide show.
I used to not be like this, I was just an alanon in AA meetings supporting my fake Unkle in Hollywood California. Lots of the people you (not you in particular) admire these people and we all struggle with it. I've met more famous people in AA than I did going to every riot in LA during the 90's. You'd be suprised and who has a problem... like me. It just is what it is... and life goes on.
It does cause some explosive diarrhea shits from time to time.
https://youtu.be/vkQld-BO8R0?si=KPS6-5q_4h7Cf6b8
Theme music for my entrance into the day.
https://youtu.be/CeA7bE9fQbY?si=MA3XgyCLYq4NwMnA
This guy is far beyond me... Holy shit.
opposite, a lady should have some alcohol.
i dumped two who were abstain. how will they get "in the mood"?
but if they have FOUR cups of wine the same night, or 4 shots of liquor, that is FILTHY. also deal breaker.
Absolutely as is mental health and drug addiction.
You would be setting yourself up for misery and failure.
Yes which is why my guy lied about how much he drinks once we met as well as why i try to help him find other ways to cope with whatever issues he's dealing with at work. I couldn’t stick around if it continued
m Absolutely. I have seen a friend descending into alcoholism and all the disgusting effects of it. I have distanced myself because of it, no way I would tolerate that in a relationship!
By your definition absolutely.
Somone who's not even in control of her life shouldn't be dating she should be getting help (applies to men too but I say she since I only date women)
yes, i don't agree with that. it's fine to have a drink once in awhile, but to be dependent on that and to completely mess up your liver is just not a good look
Been in that kind of relationship and it's not worth it to me
I dated somebody who may have been an alcoholic. It was fun for a while until it got out of control. I do not think I would want to do it again.
9 out of 10 times yes. However I would have grace for someone who joined AA and had been sober for at least a year.
Absolutely, my Dad was kind of an alcoholic. On the weekends he’d drink until his mind is gone. And the things he’d say to my mom and my sister and I. He’d say some perverse shit to my sis and I as teens.
I hate drinkers, so absolutely. I don't mind a casual drinker but an alcoholic is too much to deal with.
Absolutely a dealbreaker! I wouldn't tolerate that in a partner. It s a sign of self-control lack.
Personally, I’d like a guy that’s not afraid to drink as I like to drink, but only socially. I have a rule if I work 24 hours from then I will not have a drink. I want my boyfriend to do the same. If they drink every day then yes I’m not interested.
I wouldn't be with someone that regularly drank alcohol. Even if she stopped, the damage to her eggs/future children would already be done.
Social drinking is fine. Anything beyond that is usually a problem.
Absolutely. There are enough relationship issues without that. So why would you want to even get into a relationship with someone who has a serious habit that makes things even worse?
What is alcoholism? Do you like a drink or can you not live without a drink? How well do you function? Do you experience uncontrollable rage?
In theory everyone is an alcoholic, but some of us just never had a drink.
No matter how attracted I might be to a guy...
If he's alcoholic, forget it!
Yes. An occasional drink. Is cool. But to be an alcoholic means they have allowed the drink to control their life.
My alcoholism is acceptable, alcoholism of my partner is not. lol
Yes, all addictions are. But unfortunately those addictions don't reveal themselves straight away, as the partner will need to spend a good chunk of time with this person before figuring it all out
If they was truly addicted to alcohol I could see it being a deal breaker
as an alcoholic i have no problem being with myself
Any alcohol beyond 'occasionally' is too much.
I don't drink, but I'm willing to make an exception. If my girlfriend or wife can't behave right while drinking, depending on the situation, I'll give her two choices: To stop drinking permanently or end our relationship.
Any addiction not being acknowledged is a deal-breaker
Her drinking any amount of alcohol at all ever is a dealbreaker for me.
You need to grow up. People can drink and not be alcoholics. 1 beer while watching football isn't a crime
Absolutely. Major turn off and they will always become problematic
Considering your update, yes. I wouldn't date someone like that.
I don't drink. If she drinks, does drugs, smokes, I have zero interest.
Nope. I face in Europe, we drink daily. You get more weird looks when you don't drink 😂
Fact *
I drink a little, as long as they can control it and it doesn't control them then it all good.
Are they aware and wanting to stop? That's really the baseline. If they have problems that can be fixed, are they trying to fix them.
Yes it is. Addictions are not good, and don't indicate a stable mindset lets say.
Yes because I’m an high functioning alcoholic and I can’t be with an alcoholic woman
If she is still a practicing one. A reformed one is not an issue.
If the person is addicted to any substance it’s a deal breaker.
I would never be with an alcoholic or a drug addict.
You can't fix them until they decide to fix themselves.
100% I love the option tho I'm an alcoholic myself just gimme the results 🤣🤣
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