Is it a deal breaker if you don't drink in a relationship?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

As I am a social drinker I would like a partner to also be the same if we were out at dinner or a celebratory function or out with friends or on vacation somewhere for example. However I don't drink a lot, I may have a pot of beer after work maybe once or twice a week and sometimes not. I enjoy a beer, I usually sit there eating my favourite peanut selection while having one.

I wouldn't want a partner to be drinking constantly though, like guzzling alcohol most of the evening 3 nights or more a week. That is a big no no for me. My ex was a recovering alcoholic, I didn't realize until he re lapsed at the 8 mth mark of our relationship, he was keeping it a secret and drinking behind my back for the most part and drinking some of the time openly. It broke my heart and my trust, we couldn't get through it and so we broke up.

He eventually started to go to AA meetings, we got back together but the relationship was already too damaged from the trust issue that had sadly been created. We also were not compatible anymore because of the drinking. You see I didn't want to give up my beer and peanuts and the things I enjoyed simply because I wasn't the one with the drinking problem, why would I punish myself this way.

He on the other hand stopped drinking which was a big achievement for him and I was very proud for doing so because it wasn't easy. Now unfortunately he can't really be around other drinkers understandably which would have meant we couldn't attend a lot of get togethers with friends due to the inevitable social drinking that would be going on which would obviously further impact our relationship. I didn't want to end up going to these things alone when I have a partner, I want to be able to share outings socially with a partner. I didn't want to lose friendships or be seen to be unsociable all of a sudden, it would never have worked, he asked me to stop drinking completely, I was not prepared to give up my whole life considering there were other issues within the relationship at the time as well.

He had no friends really only a handful from the AA meetings who obviously didn't drink either, that suited him because they didn't drink but to lose all my friends and inherit a bunch of recovering addicts as friends was not something I wanted to do.

samhradh_leannan · Accepted Answer

I don't really drink (I don't "not drink" but I just don't enjoy drinking that much and I mostly end up not drinking) and it has never gotten in the way of a relationship for me. However I probably couldn't be with someone who gets drunk frequently or is irresponsible with alcohol.

Marinite · Accepted Answer

Quite the opposite. I'd rather not have substance abuse in my house, and drunks creep me out. I suppose I could tolerate it if they only had a single drink, maaaaaybe 2 at a given time and didn't change their behavior in any way that stuck out to me.

cflr0227 · Accepted Answer

For me yes it is, me and my husband drink together all the time and I love it, i drink quit a bit as is and I need to be able to drink with my partner. For most it isn't a deal breaker tho, it just is for me.

jimyee · Accepted Answer

I enjoy drinking so generally I would like to be able to drink with my partner but as long as they didn't mind me drinking I could probably make it work.

dothejohnwall97 · Accepted Answer

No wtf

witherwing · Answer

I have dated a person who thought me not drinking was a deal breaker. But I have also dated people who don't mind or even care about it.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I dont drink and my boyfriend drinks whenever his sis puts alcohol in his face. It bothers me that im not there to distract him from it but he claims he doesn't have more than 1 cup

Jaye234 · Answer

Not for me. If I ever did get back into the dating scene I wouldn't date a man who drinks.

HOAAH · Answer

WHAT? Both my husband and I don't drink, no alcohol in our house.

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t drink I used to be an alcoholic tho, when I was over drinking it didn’t matter if the guy drank or not. But now I could never be with someone that drank

DodgersGM · Answer

It's not a dealbreaker for me if a woman doesn't drink. Just don't be a tight-ass and impose your restrictions on me.

beebella · Answer

I don't drink either, so I'd actually prefer if my partner wasn't much of a drinker.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I don't care about alcohol.

Anonymous · Answer

never saw a reason to drink, I would have a beer or shots when I with my friends but personal never bought it to drink it. so if I had a girl who drank it would be off putting.

Jesslin412 · Answer

He drinks and I don’t. I don’t like the taste. In his designated driver. Works perfect!

ZeussLightningBolt · Answer

It's not a problem for me, as long as it doesn't bother her that I have a beer or cocktail with dinner occasionally.

studDMuffF1n · Answer

It's not a deal breaker but you just got another check mark for being boring.

bossman82 · Answer

I don’t drink at all, but my wife has wine or alcohol every now and then. Doesn’t bother me at all.

lovebug093 · Answer

No? Why would that be a deal breaker?

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I don't drink. Don't have much problems.

ryanlightning · Answer

No, I'm almost 24 and don't drink at all

loveyou34 · Answer

I'm trying to improve my drinking skills lol

jiothecat · Answer

Not at all, unless it's a 1 night stand

Meninist · Answer

Yes.

Nice222 · Answer

For me it would be.

Is it a deal breaker if you don't drink in a relationship?

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Is it a deal breaker if you don't drink in a relationship?

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