I told the guy I’m seeing that I want him to be honest if he doesn’t feel it anymore?

[Anonymous]

I basically told him that I understand how sometimes people became disappointed after few dates. I asked him to be honest with me and just straight up tell what’s happening.
was it the right thing to do or not?

[Jessica405]

No harm in it. Sometimes we need clarity on our relationship status.

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, I think it was a good idea to bring that up with him. Better to get any doubts or issues out in the open now rather than waste your time if he's not really feeling it anymore, you know?

I wouldn't say it was too heavy or anything, you just wanted to open up a conversation so there's honesty between you. That's important, especially still in the early stages of dating. Now if he does lose interest or have reservations, at least he knows he can just be real with you about it instead of fading out weird.

And it's not like you accused him of anything either - you acknowledged that feelings change sometimes after meeting in person. So it wasn't like a confrontation. Hopefully it made him feel comfortable enough to tell you the truth, whether that's still being interested or having second thoughts.

Overall good move communicating your needs. Better to know where you stand sooner rather than later! Fingers crossed he just got shy and thinks it's hot how direct you are tho. Keep me posted sis!

[Anonymous]

For you to say this gives me the impression that you feel like the vibe is shifting. Otherwise what’s the point? You two aren’t exclusive, only seeing each other so if it’s not a good fit I’m sure he would back off anyway or vice versa.

[Asker]

True. My whole point was to be honest and now come up with excuses

[Opinion Owner]

So basically, you’d like him to act on what you are feeling. Even if that’s not your intent, it’s kinda what you’re wanting. Why? Because you’re experiencing a change and want him to come clean about it rather than acting on it yourself. Even if you aren’t feeling differently and instead notice it on his end, you don’t have to wait around for the other shoe to drop or to be let go. You can make that move yourself, and wait for a guy this isn’t happening with. Yeah it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow (if that even matters to you) but really who cares if you aren’t feeling that special or appreciated today..

[Asker]

It’s not like that. He has been distant and different than when we first met and my gut feeling was telling me that he’s losing interest.
I had guys in the past act this way and their way of ending things was to breadcrumb me and wait for me to officially end it.
I don’t want to be given runaround like that.
So I’m telling him
That it’s all right if he no longer feels it.
I get it. Just tell me and don’t waste my time.

I do like him a lot though.

[Opinion Owner]

Honey, that’s exactly what it’s like because you just said so yourself. You notice that he’s been distant and different, and want him to end it properly rather than string you along. I get that and respect it for sure. The thing is, what if he doesn’t see it that way? Assuming he’s even noticed a change at all. It would’ve been better to communicate your feelings (that things seem different) rather than putting it on him to act on how you are personally feeling. All this to say, if you like him a lot then don’t be afraid to be a little vulnerable and tell him how you’re feeling, that way he has the opportunity to either fix it or be upfront about not feeling it. Waiting around for him to drop the ball just isn’t very healthy though. Like I understand where you’re coming from and what your motive is but unfortunately we can’t always rely on men to give us closure. We have to have our own backs and do what we personally can to avoid getting hurt, not wait for them to do it.

[Opinion Owner]

Another thought, but if you feel he’s acting differently and it’s making you feel some sort of way, then why not just leave him for a connection that feels more stable and certain? Waiting around for change is what gets you strung along and potentially ghosted when you could’ve been the one to leave first.