Why do very handsome men often date average looking girls?

Question

Looking back, From my experience,

I’ve had men interested in me, when they were very handsome and could easily have the prettiest girls out there. I often wondered, why me, there are stunning girls out there.

Might it be because I show very less interest in looks, as weird as it sounds?

I never treat handsome people any differently than I treat just anybody else.

I treat all of them same.

And those handsome men often end up being the ones to approach me,

and when they don’t see much interest from me,

they are a bit weirded out -

“You are the only one who hasn’t mentioned or complimented my - this-that.”

“Girls always do this to impress me and it is tiresome, it’s refreshing to see someone who acts like herself and doesn’t care to change her behavior to impress me.”

Because from me, they don’t get the treatment they are used to getting - they are often quite eager to get to know me.

It happens often, To the point that I am more shy and self-conscious around average looking guys than the handsome ones, because handsome ones often approach me. And average looking guys - less often.

Now I wonder, what is that pulls very handsome guys to average looking girls?

I can’t say I am interested, because I have dated my fair share of very good looking guys and it no longer excites me.

Why do very handsome men often date average looking girls?

NamerOfStars · Accepted Answer

Think of the amount of effort it takes for a woman (especially one who's not genetically blessed with good looks) to look good: society is damningly harsh on female beauty standards, and the hours upon hours of makeup application, hair styling, punitive diet and exercise constraints, to say nothing of wildly uncomfortable clothing and especially shoes. Does the result look good? Of course- they wouldn't do it otherwise. But do you think that the typical Instagram model is a great conversationalist? Even if they can discuss philosophy and French poetry, can they talk about fishing, or the Thundercats? And WILL they? Will they be willing to have that conversation with you, even if they mostly just listen? Will they offer comfort when you're down, care for you when you're sick, and support your interests and hobbies?

Good looks will catch a man's eye, but they won't hold it alone- and they won't catch his heart, either. When a guy is looking to actually BE with someone, as opposed to just having sex with them, they want someone they can form a real connection with; a woman who can't swing a dead cat without hitting three guys desperately fawning over her is MUCH less likely to be willing to make the indulgences and occasional minor settings aside of dignity that being a good partner requires, and good-looking guys know this. They learn it very quickly.

BullShark · Accepted Answer

Multiple reasons, actually;

Most handsome guys, especially introverts, never get told they're handsome; by girls or other guys. All they really need is a bit of grooming to make their prominent features stick out (speaking from personal experience)
Most handsome guys seem unapproachable and already taken (also speaking from personal experience), so a lot of girls may not even try shooting their shot at them (if they're open enough to ask a guy out themselves and don't think that ONLY the guy is obligated to ask the other person out)
As said handsome guys don't usually see themselves as attractive, they may be okay with settling for less, as long as the girl is a nice person to be around and is a genuinely good person they've developed a connection with
Most beautiful women are already taken by average looking guys already lmao

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

You described your experience... it's hard to generalize that to all handsome men and all average girls. And you also wrote an explanation.

“Girls always do this to impress me and it is tiresome, it’s refreshing to see someone who acts like herself and doesn’t care to change her behavior to impress me.”

I'm not sure if you can add anything to it... If you act differently than others, you are much more visible.

Blessedme · Accepted Answer

She makes him feel special. Men remember more how you made them feel more than how amazing you looked in your dress.

AviatorTom · Answer

There are many more average looking girls than "hot" girls, so there's more to choose from.

Sharkstealth · Answer

I knew a guy in my regular gym who was jacked. He looked like Superman but his girlfriend was overweight and not very attractive at least in my opinion. I think some guys as with women are shallow and some are not. I didn't know him well just the occasional small talk in the sauna. I didn't know his girlfriend at all.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

I've found women to generally be pretty ineffective at picking out which women men find attractive.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Average women tend to have more personality and try harder in the relationship.

JacobJordan · Answer

Easy the average looking women know how to treat a man. Most exceedingly attractive women are shallower than a puddle of drool, they tend to treat people like shit and they tend to be very self centered. It is rare that a very attractive woman actually knows how to treat a man. I was fortunate enough to find such a woman.

Fireguy17 · Answer

because they have an awesome personality.
There is so much more to someone than just their looks.
As we get older our physical appearance changes and there is nothing we can do about it.
Add smoking, alcohol too much sun and/or drug use, you will end up looking way older than you are.
Then what do you have left?
Not much.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Not sure other than they want a nice girlfriend and not a super stuck up high maintenance one.

DagonbroughtMehere · Answer

From what I perceive it is a loyalty thing, however She may be ovulating and the basic urge to breed may be in-play, that or He feels more confident approaching Her.

Kelly6 · Answer

@lafemmefatale_1 they care more about personality i guess

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

I can speak for everyone else but I do it cause looks are not everything to me. I'm more into compatability than looks so if she's average looking that's okay as long as we're compatable

lightbulb27 · Answer

they have better dating or relational skills, aligns with their self image, the woman aligns more with his female role models, likes their character.

toomanyqs-4 · Answer

Perhaps they just really like your personality:). Sometimes people who are too good looking tend to be self centered and that's not very attractive tbh

RandomUser1000 · Answer

Unless you are very superficial (or maybe only in it for sex), Then it's not only about looks. Personality matters.

Sonorous · Answer

Because he can always wear the vr headset during yk...

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

I've actually never heard this before. Only the opposite that some absolutely beautiful girls date fat ugly goofy looking dudes, I saw that especially in college when I came out of the military

Alina_980 · Answer

You cannot see yourself by their eyes. Maybe for him you are the most beautiful girl 😊

handsomelad70 · Answer

They're trying to affect an "average guy" persona. This handsome lad wouldn't give an average-looking lass even a first glance unless she had a FIRST-RATE body !!!

Dongie · Answer

Never underestimate yourself. Guys see you differently than you see yourself. As you say, personality speaks volumes.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Personality wins out over looks any day, and some men know this.  Note, I said some.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

I don't think that's the case at all. Most relationships men and women are both on the same or very close to the same level of physical attractiveness.

Why do very handsome men often date average looking girls?

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