I’m 25, does it make sense that I’m scared to talk to girls?

[Anonymous]

Never had a girlfriend. I’ve seen so many girls that are just wow. But I don’t approach them. When I was younger I was rejected quite a few times, and been made a joke out of.

So I’ve kind of just given up. It would be worse if it was someone I knew at work and I had to face this person everyday.

I’ve never understood why dating as a guy is brutal. If you looked at me and my life, you’d realise there’s nothing to criticise.

It makes sense

It doesn’t

[_Maya_]

You seem to place all the blame on girls and none on yourself. Are you that infallible? Do you have no faults? Is your approaching of girls perfect and we are just too ignorant to see it? I think you get my point. Perhaps it isn't us and it is more you are your vibe. I'm pretty sure you are the same guy that makes countless accounts here to complain about why you don't get dates and how awful we are because of it. I say that because the last paragraph is telling in a number of ways. One is the spelling of "realize" as "realise" which is the British English spelling and I know that's where you are from. The second thing is the arrogance that you always have. "If you looked at me and my life, you’d realise there’s nothing to criticise." Yeah you are so perfect that's why you are single.

[IslaTheWitch]

You have to work on yourself. Leaving your comfort zone is not easy, but it's the only solution if you want to grow.

Start by finding things you see as your strengths and working on them, developing them. See yourself as you are, just a human being, maybe not perfect but definitely worthy of love. Be the very first person who loves you unconditionally.

Build your self-esteem based on your strengths and self-acceptance. It's hard, but it's something that helps you build your confidence.

[ryanontario]

i suppose everyone has had bad experiences in the dating world right?

i agree it be harder if you knew the girl and had to see them again afterwords , so it might make sense practising or focusing on girls you didn't know as well maybe. you don't really have anything to lose by trying to talk to a random girl in a bar , most of the time if they say no its really low key and they won't make a big deal about it , they just sort of go about night.

most of the time when girls said no if i tried to buy them a drink it was fairly gentle and like i didn't even feel bad about it afterwords. only one time when a girl i knew well refused and did so rudely that i was upset.

[ryanontario]

i'd note in a bar its not even that likely a girl would say no to a free drink if you fit in with the scene/crowd of the bar. i'd say like 80% of the time they'd say yes to 20 % no , thats if you fit in and such , if your like dressed wrong or don't fit in it be much less

another idea to get experience talking to girls your age , might be a mall but not the customers , the stores and female staff. but don't view these girls as potential dates. the chance is like zero that they'd be rude to you or ask you to leave unless your like interupting them or there obviously busy with someone else.

might be a way to get more comfortable talking to girls your own age , it couldn't really hurt right to try talking to some random cashier or clothing store girl about something. claim your looking for a certain hard to find item or a gift for sister

[Anonymous]

It makes sense. But that doesn't mean it rational. Trust me man there is NOTHING worthy of a pedestal about women.

I don't know if I was this way still at 25. But I was definitely this way when I was younger.

Women are very immature when they're young. They've typically grown out of this mostly by 25 (don't get me wrong there will be segment that will NEVER grow out of it) but as a man you have to I determine what women are WORTHY of your effort. Be a gentlemen, be polite, and be selective. And never ask twice! If a woman turns you down move on.

[Drew-1990]

It makes sense but got to work on your courage. I'm very similar as you, I'm 33 and in the same boat as you. I have come to learn you just need to man up and approach. I have been working on that myself. If you put in the effort and try their are girls that will give you the shot for trying even if you are nervous. Some won't but many would

[JacobJordan]

Everyone has faults including you. That being said I am not remotely surprised to hear men aren't approaching women. Too many metoo reports have made it a genuine risk to even look at a woman. Best option mate just focus on you when you reach the point where you love you for you the right lady will likely show up.

[JesseP1nk]

If you are scared talk to girls ofcourse they are gonna reject you. Because you being shy and weird around them make the situation awkward for both of you. Solution? - practice. Like go out with friends more and socialize with other people.

[boobliker]

you poor poor boy put an add in a papper girl wanted to show you how you get loads of reples

[Iron_Man]

No you’re just afraid of rejection. You’ll have to overcome that

[Anonymous]

nature and reality is cruel, just being sarcastic and talking of my lifelong resentment of guys having to do the pursuing

[Anonymous]

Sure, if you are very shy.

[Asker]

Im shy but wtf am I gonna do bro

[Opinion Owner]

Focus on your self confidence and self esteem.

[Asker]

Is it weird if I say I feel confident in myself. I just don’t want to feel like a laughing stock again or embarrass myself

[Opinion Owner]

No not really. You have to be willing to take chances.

[jahaims]

Obviously not