Why do neurotypical people find dating neurodivergent people so difficult, or an immediate turn-off?

[VABGinger]

I was diagnosed with autism (or on the spectrum) when I was around 11 years old. Since then, I have had a few “decent/almost realistic” relationships - but nothing that really feels genuine in the end (and they always end badly). The two guys and one girl that I have been with both left me for someone else, after I literally gave 100% effort.

I’ve read books and studies on it, but nobody ever seems to have a valid reason - yes, I know we’re all different and it’s subjective.

So, thoughts and opinions?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

A difficulty I might have is communication style. For example, a girl on here told me that autistic people tend to have a deadpan look on their face a lot.

I'm one of those who relies heavily on body language and tone of voice for communication to understand people's emotions and also to express my own. So I would feel kind of blind in reading and understanding emotions with such a person, and I rely on that so much to emotionally connect with someone.

Actually I rely on body language so much that I struggle with text, like on here. 😅 I tend to want to use emojis a lot and I like when people use emojis (provided they're not excessive) since that communicates their tone more in ways I find missing in textual communication without being able to see each other's body language and hear each other's voice.

So it might be very difficult for me to establish a deep emotional connection with an autistic woman, but that's the only way I ever form a really deep attraction. I'm a borderline demisexual.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I'm the most extreme case of this. For example, I don't understand how anyone can ever become attracted to another online. To me, remote communication, especially purely textual, is so robotic and so lacking in emotional expression. I need to see someone in person to start developing strong feelings for them, and also the person needs to be very expressive and open in sharing their feelings with me.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I can't speak on behalf of others but that'd be my main obstacle, I suspect, if I was hypothetically single (married now).

[ChicoFromThe305]

So you decided to blame your autism? Dude unloyalty has been on the rise for a long time and it's only getting worse, people are becoming more selfish as well, even petty, there's an endless amount of reasons why they might have left you for someone else and it's possible they were good reasons or just completely petty, your go to thing to blame was your autism and I don't think that should be your go to first assumption 😆

[Agape93]

Because they don't understand how we think or why, and humans naturally don't like what they dint understand

[Anonymous]

I have no idea. I don't see why it would be so difficult.

[Billlewis]

Based on what I know of this condition, it wouldn't bother me at all, especially if she was anything like you ❤️

[Anonymous]

We have less emotions, I personally got diagnosed at 21 and have no emotions whatsoever

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure