Hey guys help me out?

[Jexxxxxx]

Me and this guy it's been like6/7 months and we talked a lot, our conversations went to deeper level and we both agreed to a date in future too, we both are getting to know each other, but once he told me I want to eat you up, in a flirty way I don't know is it normal? Or how do I find his intentions, we have talked about sex in a positive way too.

[DoggyDude]

There is an expression "I could eat you up" which if used is usually intended to mean a person can't get enough of the person they say it to. It usually also implies they find a person sweet, delicious and other associations with food.

It sounds very much like you've encountered a variant.

That said, it's also seen as a somewhat safe way to hint at sexual intimacy in a somewhat deniable manor. Meaning, to assess if the other person is ready to esculate.

As to whether it is normal, I would say it's something people can use both sexually and just to indicate extreme interest in the person. The expression "I could just eat you up!" is usually even simply a term of delight in the behaviour another person is exhibiting and may not be sexual at all.

What you need to know is YOUR intentions and desires. You need to know if your ready (mature enough) for sex [as obviously there's a much bigger risk for you than there is for him if you go far enough, and even people mature can make mistakes which change their lifes irrevokably].

So, once you know where you are, that means you can decide if you want to esculate or deesculate. If your not ready and wanting to deesculate your next consideration is, are you deesculating to put the guy on hold till your ready (meaning you see a sexual future just not now) or are you wanting to just put a lid on stuff and meet more people (e. g. your not certain this is your guy, its just a maybe guy).

So, if your not sure if this guy is even THE guy. I recommend deesculation by taking that kind of flirting off the table (for now, you can always change your mind and if you take that off the table and his interests continue respecting that as a friend you know he's very serious indeed);

If your feeling this is likely the guy for you, but just not ready yet. Flirt back but in a very passive way (e. g. touch his arm and smile, then move the conversation onto safer ground, but don't make body language, speech or action to discourage, if his behaviour persists and you feel uncomfy, explain your discomfort and if you trust him let him into how you see your futures unfolding and what you need to feel safe etc. Again if he's worth it he will work with you in great care); This has one disadvantage in that you will be at more risk of a guy with the wrong motivations, but it has the advantage you won't be putting off the guy you see as right for you (but there's more chance of getting hurt).

If your ready, and don't see any disadvantage to yourself in possibly having a child to the guy in question (presuming he may likely leave you, best to assume the worst) then just go ahead. I don't ever recommend this because its the option that is the MOST dangerous for you. Though, sometimes it is what a person wants so I try to cover all bases.

Good luck.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's kinda weird that he said he wants to "eat you up" without any other context. That could potentially come across as overly sexual or aggressive, depending on how well you know each other.

A few things I would think about:

- How was his tone when he said it? Was he clearly being flirty/playful or did it feel uncomfortable? Guys don't always think through how things may sound.

- Have you two established you're interested in each other romantically yet or just getting to know each other? That line could be fine if you've both expressed liking one another.

- You say you've talked about sex positively before, but was it more in theoretical/long term terms or very explicit/immediate? There's a difference in intent there.

- Pay attention to how he acts overall - is he usually respectful or does he push physical boundaries too fast? His general behavior will say a lot.

If you feel unsure about his intentions, maybe have an honest chat. See how he responds when you ask what exactly he meant by that. His answer should give you a better idea on where his head is at. Go with your gut - if it feels off, proceed cautiously! We guys don't always think before speaking lol. Just looking out for ya sis!