What do I say to these girls?

[Anonymous]

So I think I finally found the girl I want to be with. Me and her weren’t exclusive because we were getting to know each other. She even said so herself. And now that I got to really know her, I know she’s the one I want. In the meantime, I have four other girls who are into me. Two of which are barely getting to know me. And the other two are talking about hopes and dreams of us being together. I honestly think one of them just likes me for my looks. Because I barely got to know her, and she started mentioning how handsome I am. And talked about marriage when I’m barely got to know her (So she’s confusing love with lust). But I seriously am just sorry to have made these two other girls fall for me. Because I feel guilty that they like me. But I don’t know what to say to them in order to not break their hearts. I don’t want to ghost them, but it’s sounding like the best option so far. I’m just so ashamed of myself because I know I’m gonna hurt their feelings when I mentioned that I have someone I love.

[Oliverlogan263]

Here's what I would say:

It's never easy hurting someone's feelings, but being honest is best in the long run. I'd talk to each girl individually and explain that while I really enjoyed getting to know them, I don't feel the same connection as what I have with the other girl.

Say something like "I want to be upfront because I care about your feelings. You deserve someone who can truly reciprocate your feelings. I realized I'm really into so-and-so and want to give that a real shot."

Make it clear you're not gonna lead them on anymore or keep them as backups. That shows empathy and respect. Answer any questions honestly but don't get dragged into a debate - keep it short and let them process it on their own.

The lusty one you barely know might get upset but just reiterate you don't wanna waste anyone's time if your heart's elsewhere. You can also distance yourself politely on social media so there's no miscommunication.

It won't be easy but it's best to nip these feelings in the bud now before anyone gets more hurt down the road. Have faith they'll appreciate you being upfront in the long run over disappearing or keeping them hanging on. You got this!

[Glittergirl4]

That’s a hard situation but that’s how life works. Sometimes you have to hurt people to move on. If you don’t feel the same way for them, then letting them know you are no longer interested is saving them time and giving them the chance to find someone that will be a better fit for them. I know from experience that it’s hard to hurt someone like that but it has to be done for the well being of both of you.