Do many men refrain from pursuing curvier women because they want to appear dominant next to the girl?

[Anonymous]

Im normal weight (size 6) and this dude I slept with and wanted to see me desperately the next day said he couldn’t go on pursuing me because I’m too big for him and he needed someone skinnier so he would look dominant since he himself is quite slim (but at 6 foot 4 also quite tall). I was really upset about this and when I looked through his Instagram followings I noticed he followed many really young looking women with pubescent bodies (many borderline anorexic) that don’t follow him back. His best friend disclosed that while he is a friendly guy he tends to be manipulative and exhibits stalker tendencies with women. He still watches all my insta stories and keeps glancing and staring at me when he sees me in public despite rejecting me. The dude is 26 and refers to women as girls. Is that normal? Am I overreacting?

Yes it’s a thing

No not that common

Vote

[Flatmanlewis]

I think the details are in the definition of ‘curvier’. To a man, we hear curvy and we interpret that as female-speak for heavy. Man-speak curvy is an hourglass figure.


If you have this hourglass figure then you probably have met a dude with some issues and that sucks for you. Move on and be more cautious about how quickly you give a man access to your life I suppose.


If you are heavy, then it’s probably worth accepting that is not often the male ideal for a woman’s figure. Also, accept that men (like women) have preferences and those are pretty hard wired into most guys. The current rage of body-positivity propaganda is really trying to convince women in things that aren’t really true. Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue and Victorias Secret both jumped into that trope and their sales have plummeted as a result. What SJWs call ‘conventional beauty standards’ as if we could just redefine it, is just the way it’s always been. Men are biologically attracted to the signs of health, fertility, and femininity. Always been this way - always will.


Answering your question more directly: I’ve always preferred a very specific look of petite women. That’s just my personal preference so I’ve refrained by pursuing “curvier women” (female defined, not male defined) because it’s not my taste.

[Asker]

Dude someone your age should know that a size 6 is not fat by anyone’s standards

[Flatmanlewis]

Well, first “Do you think a size 6 is fat” was not the question you presented. It was about so many men refrain from pursuing “curvier” women to appear dominant. I opine that no, the motivation is not about some need to appear dominant. (Most men dominate the women in their life in strength, height, and income, so it’s a low bar to attain.) Men pursue women based on what they find attractive.

Not all size 6s are created equal. Fitness is an overall assessment not a single digit on a pants label. That’s the point I am making. A 6 with personality, beauty, style, and toned, feminine features is going to be totally different than a squeezing-into-a-6 with resting B face, no style, and soft tone.

[RavVid]

Yes it is so.

It is questionable if women are heavier than men, as men have more muscle mass and heavier bones. It is true that women are intended to have more fat stores than men and even while sleeping men consume more calories than woman do. So it is a lot easier for women to put on weight and it is harder to lose.

Men really do like female signals of fertility. A lot of it is unconscious. There is a proto-typical female form in our primal sex circuits that sends Green, Yellow and Red flags up to our conscious mind. Those flags might get re-interpreted in our conscious mind in a variety of ways. Such as "I look less dominant". But the hardwired values remain the same Yes, Maybe, and Nah.

I'm one of those strange Anglo guys who likes partner dancing. I'd regard a dress size 6 as dangerous, because a dress size 6 girl wrecked my back. A dress size 6 girl is dangerous because she probably still thinks she is light and can do light girl things. A dress size 8 girl knows she is heavy and will dance accordingly. A dress size 4 girl is never going to be a problem.

So I would prefer to dance with a size 4 girl because i can do more with her safely. Subconsciously that transfers to bed as well.

I can't really comment on whether the girls he has liked are prepubescence or just relatively so to you.

I call women girls because women prefer to be called girls where I am.

At the end of the day men have standards just as women do and we are just as entitled to them. And your weight is your choice. Sorry but that is true.

[Asker]

Size 8 is not heavy what are you talking about 😂😂😂😂

[Asker]

And underweight women are less fertile than normal weight women

[RavVid]

I have relied on dress size conversion and US size 8 seems to be local size 12 and that is heavy. PHAA rates it as likely obese and list a number of likely health consequences.

Anorexic women being less fertile doesn't make over weight women more fertile. We seem to disagree on what is over weight and may just leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

You are asking all of the wrong questions. After you made the statement 'I slept with..' I knew it was all downhill from there. The guy is low quality and sounds like he has issues. Yet you still care. This is the real problem... caring about low quality men and continuing to sleep with them. My friend used to do this and later on wished she could turn back the clock. She would do anything to learn this lesson...

In answer to your question. There are plenty of skinny men that date bigger or curvier women. It is not about dominance, it is about security. A man that is secure in himself is unlikely to care.

[Asker]

No my question is how common it is

[Grond21]

It sounds like he's a really bad guy. Your size is great and there's nothing wrong with it. If he is focused on a woman's weight and how it makes him appear then he is very selfish. If he is also manipulative and has a tendency to stalk he might be narcissistic.

If that's the case then you dodged a bullet

[DarkWinterNights]

I’m not sure what a size 6 looks like? Is it considered overweight? Everyone seems to have a different opinion on what “average” is. Some guys like skinnier girls over heavier girls, I don’t know if the reasoning has to do with dominance or anything. Probably just preference.

[Anonymous]

Why are you people like this? You sleep around and wonder why you attract such weirdos? Because decent men aren’t man whores. You repulse even halfway decent men don’t you?

[Asker]

Yeah sorry if I don’t wait until marriage I must be a whore

[Opinion Owner]

Well…. If you sleep with tons of men. You don’t feel sorry anymore. I feel bad for you. No decent man wants a woman whose sleeping around like this. All you will attract are man whores, players, creeps, weirdos, etc. Fake nice guys. Not a genuinely nice guy. Just nice to get sex and then turns into a dick

[Asker]

Dude I haven’t slept with tons of men where did you read this?

[Opinion Owner]

You’re saying you don’t wanna wait for marriage. But okay. Good if you don’t sleep with tons of men. But if you waiting until marriage you wouldn’t deal wijt this kind of stuff.

Not saying you have to be perfect. But if you double down and keep doing it…. Well at that point it is on you.

[Anonymous]

No, I actually prefer dominant girls, but I like them fit & athletic (toned and sporty, not extremely muscular). I definitely don't like overweight/chubby (curvy) girls.

[Dongie]

a lot make up for all the physical with lack of personality. Plus, they are scary.

[JacobJordan]

Difference between curvy and fat

[Asker]

Size 6 is not fat smart ass

[JacobJordan]

Didn't say it was dear. I said there is a difference between curvy and fat.

[Asker]

Unnecessary to mention if we’re not talking about women that are fat

[JacobJordan]

Sure it is because fat has little to do with pants size and everything to do with fat distribution. For example having skin spill over the top of jeans means someone is fat. Having multiple layers formed in bunches is a sign someone is fat. Both could also be signs of being overweight. Where as a woman who is curvy has wider hips, thicker thighs, narrow waist... you know the hourglass figure. That is more akin to curvy.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why you're upset. He slept with you. You should be thankful for that. He's just not into you.

[Asker]

LOL yeah he was

[zagor]

Sounds like a weird excuse he made up.

[Asker]

No he is weird trust me

[Anonymous]

No because curvey women are not their type

[Asker]

That’s not true for every single one of them

[war_daddy]

he sounds like a pedo

[Asker]

Because of his insta followings?

[war_daddy]

yeah

[jahaims]

No lol