Girl I am dating isn’t comfortable with being shown any affection? Which is making me uncomfortable moving forward?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been dating this girl I really like for the last few months. We have a few mutual friends, everyone knows we like each other and have been dating. She’s very shy so sometimes one of the mutual friends “helps her” by communicating things to me.

Anyway, things have been progressing slowly which is fine. However, the last date while we were walking, I asked if I could hold her hand and she denied me saying it takes her a lot more time to get used to that. She also shuts down when I try to talk to her about me liking her etc. and she only expresses those things through texts when I initiate it.

Lastly, now I am very nervous and hesitant about making any moves due to making her uncomfortable. I don’t know how to progress things at this point. I don’t even dare to try to hold her hand etc. again. She also told our friend she’s ready to be in a relationship with me. I feel the same, but I also feel strange not being able to do anything that feels like we are a couple. Any tips?

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude that is a tricky situation. On the one hand, it's cool she likes you too and wants a relationship. But denying basic affection after months would definitely make me feel weird about things progressing further.

A few thoughts - you need to have an honest convo with her about it. Not in a confronting way, but coming from a place of caring about understanding each other fully. Maybe her shyness is deeper than you realized.

Ask how she sees intimacy developing over time, if at all. See how her actions match her words about wanting a boyfriend. Set clear expectations - a relationship requires feeling emotionally and physically close at some point.

Also, don't be afraid to say it's making you uncomfortable too. Your feelings matter equally. Either she meets you halfway on that, or you may need to reconsider if you're compatible long term.

Last resort would be letting your friend gently bring it up to her on your behalf. But try talking to her first without pressure. Come at it from a place of care, not criticism. With patience and openness, maybe you guys can work it out. Hope this helps bro!

[virtualwasp]

i guess time, she will become used and comfortable with you.

[Nikki1989]

Give it time. She will come around.

[Asker]

Thanks. I have no issues with that, I guess I’m just concerned that with me not making any moves now due to all of this, that she’ll lose interest or something. Which has happened to me in the past, adding to the nervousness lol.

[laly520]

she needs more time

[Akam93]

Sure. Get rid of her