When is the right time to tell your date your" trauma"?

[Anonymous]

Is it better to tell him your family love issue trauma before or after dating?

I think to be honest before so that he knows where he his putting his "efforts" in and is in time to change his mind with no attachment. Agree? or is it too early?

[tremendousfern]

Why not instead just get that shit figured out for yourself instead of trauma dumping on your boyfriend?

There's a reason you have to pay a shrink to listen to you talk about your personal problems, people usually don't want to hear it especially since most have enough personal trauma of their own. I think if you bring that stuff up you'll probably end up chasing away most men because they're going to see they're dating a whole psych ward.

By all means, do what you need to do to get past whatever trauma is affecting your life (talk to a therapist, write in a journal, confide in a close friend, live a healthier lifestyle, meditate and pray, etc.), but holding onto it and dumping it onto your dates seems like a bad idea.

[BonzoInBitburg]

I would never want to know your trauma. I would want to know how you worked on yourself to overcome your trauma. If you have any lingering trauma, I'm gone

[MemeSupreme]

don't tell him bc there's no actual reason to unless he asks but summarize that shit

if you got BPD, PTSD, or anything bc of the trauma then communicate it after some dates but don't ever trauma dump the guy lol it's not his business

[Mr_twoface]

It all depends on the "trauma" you wish to tell your date. If you do personally believe it will affect your relationship and its best for them to know, then share it with them after a couple of dates and you see it is going forward somewhere. No point in sharing your traumatic experience early on without them knowing you, cause it can give them cold feet and push them over.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I'd like to know too, I vote for before anything but others may disagree cause they think you are entitled to keeping stuff like that a secret which depending on what It is, I don't fully believe that.

[OddBeMe]

If you allow your trauma to interfere with your life, you need therapy. This isn’t derogatory. I went to therapy for over 2 years. Best thing I ever did.

But when dating, telling your date everything straight off ain’t necessary.

[Phoenix98]

Preferably never it doesn't interfere with my day to day so I would rather not dig it up.

[noohair]

I guess it is complicated. I don't want to share things and then have it not work out for other reasons. That information is out.

[laly520]

once u r mentally ready

[BarryLiverstone]

Peek your onion in layers

[Danny_dan92]

If they ask about it

[Sameone]

Before better