When's a good time to start talking to people after a long term relationship break-up?

[Flotri66]

(35M) Had a mutual breakup about a week ago with a woman (33F) I spent 16 years with. I currently don't feel like it but I was wondering when can it be appropriate to start talking and following people on social media. I'm so out of touch with everything single people do.

My ex used to be a very jealous person so ANY interaction with another woman my age would be considered borderline cheating so I've grown to be a pretty reserved person in public. I know that eventually I would want to socialize a bit.

A small detail that I should mention is that we still live together because we have a 12 year old together. We are working on living separately. But it's only been a week.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang dude, 16 years is a super long time to be with someone. I can't imagine what you must be going through trying to adjust to being single after all that. I'd probably wait a bit longer before starting to hit people up online or chat with other girls, for a few reasons.

Mainly, it really hasn't been that long since the breakup, and with you guys still living together it's gotta be extra weird and uncomfortable. You're probably still feeling all sorts of emotions about the relationship ending too. Jumping right into talking to other people might mean you're still kinda hung up on the ex, which wouldn't be fair to new people you talk to.

Plus living together still could cause drama if she finds out you're talking to other girls already, you know how exes can be. Maybe it's better to wait til you get your own place, so there's distance and you both have space to move on fully. That will probably help you figure stuff out and be more ready to start fresh.

And it's good to spend time just focusing on you too man. Get used to being single and do your own thing for a change. The dating stuff will be there later when you feel more settled. No need to rush, you've got your whole life ahead of ya! Just take it easy for now, hang with friends, spend time with your kid. The rest will fall into place when you're feeling more ready to dive back in there.

[Flotri66]

I know it's been a year but I think you misunderstood my question. lol I was curious to know when would someone in my position be able to start talking to people. I love the enthusiasm in your answer though.

Yeah, a few days after I posted this question she started dating a co-worker of hers. So I was still living in the same home as she was going out on dates. It was f-up after f-up on her part. I'm living a much better life but still pretty much on my own. I've blocked her on everything except text since we have our daughter. Speaking of, my daughter and I are so disappointed in the way her mother acted with the breakup that we actively avoid the topic when we spend time together.

[jennifer_bloom]

At this stage, I think you should focus on emotional support and not New Romantic attachments. I've observed through online reports and accounts by strangers that a relationship born out of need or sorrow is always going to be temporary if you're lucky and abusive and entangling if you're not. High quality people are almost always going to choose happy souls that do not need them over grieving people who want to fill a void. It's best to get a therapist or a dog or a volunteer role to heal your grief, do not get a girlfriend right now unless you guys have babies that need immediate care by a new woman.

[laly520]

once person is ready

[Flotri66]

Thank you

[dudeinohio]

Immediately.