Leaving names out, do you know anyone who pretended to be dumber than they are, while dating?

[robhazelnut]

Updates

+1 y

With people in general, I've attempted to simplify my language before, regretfully occasionally leaving out clarifying details. The thought being that my talking is exhausting. If you're interested- This is probably a holdover from narcissistic abuse, where only conveniences to their imagined self-image are accepted by them.

[Billlewis]

Yes, myself.

[robhazelnut]

That's puzzling.

[Billlewis]

I can tell you why if you want, but I also don't want to sound conceited.

[robhazelnut]

I only requested no names for the sake of minimizing risk to others. I'm curious about your reason and will accept that it is one, even if I disagree or notice arrogance. Admitting arrogance makes it a thing of the past, and therefore not currently in onself.

[Billlewis]

I know this probably sounds ridiculous, but my approach to dating is pretty much the same as it is in sales -- to avoid letting them think I'm of above average intelligence. If the person you're trying to sell something to, or have sex with, thinks you're really smart, they'll often be afraid that you'll take advantage of them somehow.

[robhazelnut]

It would seem that abuse creates a fear of intelligence.

[robhazelnut]

Or rather, often does.

[Billlewis]

Don't get me wrong; I don't 'dumb myself down' a huge amount (because I'm not that smart to begin with... lol), I just dial the vocabulary back a little bit, and use various gestures, mannerisms and body language to suggest that I'm just your typical guy.

[Billlewis]

This approach is also very useful when you're in a questionable situation with crime and transients looking for an easy mark. If you look stupid, you probably don't have much money, either. In Chicago, that technique comes in handy.

[robhazelnut]

That makes sense.