Have you ever dated someone who was obviously smarter than you?

[Anonymous]

By obviously, I mean when the two of you have a discussion or talk, it's clear the other person is just smarter not only to you, but to others.

I ask because I have a friend whose boyfriend I think is starting to realize she's a lot smarter than he is. I notice it when I'm at their house. They'll have conversations and she always has points where he doesn't usually. Or if he does, his points don't add up or she easily demolishes his counterpoints.

He often tells her that she 'just always has to be right', but I think the issue here is that he KNOWS she's right, and he is just tired of always being wrong. She is very intelligent. I don't think he's dumb, but it's clear to me that he's not use to her creative and critical thinking.

She's been told before that she 'always has to be right' and she gets frustrated because she's starting to feel like she's not allowed to talk anymore because everyone says she just has to be right and they don't really seem to want to understand what she says. It's been a problem since before I've known her (met 6 years ago). We're both 30, but she was in gifted programs at school and gifted especially in music, art, and writing. But she also has Asperger's, diagnosed 3 years ago.

Anyone have experience with this?

[Soldier_946]

Not a girlfriend but my best friend. He is very clever and he wins every debate.

10 years ago when I met him, he did not read at all but he won every debate against anybody just based on logic.
6 years ago he started reading and improving his culture and now he outsmarts his friends (general, doctors, teachers, lawyer, judge and one engineer).

He was born like that. His family is not logical at all.

At the beginning we use to have 3 hours debate because I was convinced of what I thought ans I would not give up. Now, I know he is always right but I continue having debate with him but just to know where I am wrong. Sometimes I even win. If we reach a dead end and I am short on ideas I assume he is right.

I could not date a girl as smart because she would get bored.

[Asker]

He sounds like my friend except she was always a reader. She really only reads novels, though. And she cites from them off the top of her head. I remember she cited something from Lord of the Flies to me, and I was like 'the heck are you on about?' She said it was a book she read in 8th grade, but she got the novel out and showed me the quote. She recited it word for word exactly like it appeared in the text. That heifer hasn't read that book since she graduated high school.

[Soldier_946]

I see, she has a good memory too.

These are very smart people but I think it is hard for them to live in a place where they meet people who do not live up to their cleverness.

I bet, your friend will break up with this guy because from my point of view, a relationship is about balance.

[Anonymous]

Yes a few times. Lol

Based on what you described of her , it seems that she's determined to be right , which is annoying. Sometimes you have to let things go and pipe down a bit. ( both men and women ) remember relationships are about enjoying eachothers company , not a debate club.

[Asker]

No, she isn't. Like they just had a discussion on schools where he said it's dumb to go back in August on a blended learning schedule (our city is talking A/B days with virtual learning and in class learning). Turns out, he didn't know what it was, so she told him, and explained why it was necessary due to the constraints of small classrooms, making sure both students and teachers are safe, and to ensure learning goes on. Then he said parents don't have childcare, and she said that's really not the schools issue as they are not childcare. They're educational institutes. Then he said that she just always has to be right. But the kicker is that she WAS right. I think the issue with him is that she just didn't agree with him.

[Opinion Owner]

Is this woman you?

Also he makes a good point tho.

[Asker]

No. I honestly didn't know what blended learning was until I looked it up after the fact. I'm surprised she did. She's in law school. I'm an HR manager. Her boyfriend is radiology tech.

That, and I do not have Asperger's.

[Asker]

I'm also single. I'm just at her house all the time.

[Opinion Owner]

Aha she's in law school , it all makes sense lol.

[Asker]

What does?

[Cherokeehp]

Nope. I’m usually the smarter one in my relationships. People have told me that i’m intimidating because of it, but I don’t really mind.

[luvstoned4him]

hasn't happened yet

only narcissists which werent fun

[CapnHawk]

I dated a medical doctor. It was obvious she was a lot smarter than me.

[Asker]

Did it bother you at all?

[CapnHawk]

Not in the least. She was anything but an intellectual snob. Very down to earth. And my being a firefighter paramedic, we had a little mutual something.

[AdithyaR]

Amongst most of my social circles, I'm the smart one. So I generally do not get liked by girls cause I'm the nerd or the boring bookworm.
So I'd actually wait for someone smart like that.