If I got a nose job would I look better or still ugly?

[Tomisworthless]

I actually hate my face. I can’t love something so unattractive and disgusting. Anytime I take a picture of myself I scare myself due to how I look. Life has never been easy for me growing up and I was always made fun off and laughed at even sometimes people would record me in public laughing at how creepy and hideous I am.

me for reference, I’m 29 loner loser virgin

You see me crawl out from the pit of hell

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Looks fine to me. Maybe you can bulk up a bit or something, play with your hairstyle, things like that.

But most of the time, I think when we get so hung on little facial features as our source of insecurities, it's usually a social problem.

Like there's probably something about the way you carry yourself socially -- like if you're a bit shy or awkward or something like that -- and you don't get treated by others as a result of it, so you go back home to the mirror and try to look for something wrong in the reflection and nitpick things that other people probably don't even notice.

And if that's the real problem is the way people are treating you, a nose job isn't going to fix that. You gotta stop looking in the mirror and look more at how you behave, carry yourself around other people, maybe you're more passive and don't initiate many conversations, maybe you inadvertently come off as unfriendly, maybe you talk about subjects that don't interest other people so much. Like you're obviously very self-conscious and that can sometimes be channeled into a positive way to true self-awareness, but right now I'm almost sure you're lacking self-awareness because you're too hung up with the mirror reflection.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

[*] [...] and you don't get treated by others [the way you want] as a result of it [...]

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Like try to loosen up and open up your body language if you're a bit closed, a bit stiff, make an effort to initiate and practice conversations more with complete strangers, even a little "Hey, how's it going?" with a cashier at a store, just chat with people around you, don't worry if some are rude assholes; it's not the end of the world and all of us get that from time to time no matter how charming we are. The sun still rises every morning, your life is unchanged and you are unharmed except for any harm you self-inflict upon yourself (stop doing that).

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

If you can develop true self-awareness and realize more accurately what prevents many people from treating you the way you desire without being distracted by your nose, and put in the real effort to start overcoming your social habits that are preventing you from getting what you want socially, you can turn your life around very quickly. But it's actually a bit more difficult than just being able to blame our nose. Yet if you stop doing that and start working on what's really preventing you from achieving your social goals, I'm pretty sure you'll start to notice real results very quickly.

[Tomisworthless]

My face overall is trash I was just wondering if getting a nose surgery would make the rest of the face more attractive by making the nose more pronounced by the ridge, and lessening the width of the bridge

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

We see our face more than any other face, you know. I have asymmetrical nostrils. It pisses me off sometimes. My girlfriends have never noticed it until I tilted my head up and pointed it out. People really don't notice these things that much, and the few who do that aren't put off by your social behaviors don't mind anyway.

So I'm not talking from a lack of experience being in your shoes. I've been there when I was a teenager where I was blaming my facial features for my lack of social popularity. It's a misdiagnosis of the real problem.

[Tomisworthless]

Bro I don't know what you look like but the world to people in my shoes is a lot less enjoyable. You get judged and treated according to one’s physical appearance. I’m avoided and made fun of because I’m unattractive and the years of bullying added only more negative attributes to my personality like anti social, depression, suicidal tendencies, anger, bitterness etc.

[Tomisworthless]

Again not blaming my nose, just asking if having it modified would improve overall appearance so I can feel good about what I look like. I have plenty of ugly features more than just my wide deviated nose. My eyes are far apart, weak and narrow jawline and chin. Underbite. Etc. Most people when they judge my face immediately mention my eyes being far apart and I think my nose plays a decent role in the perception of distance

[Tomisworthless]

I’m not blaming my face for my lot in life, it’s just a factor amongst other contributing factors. For one, I’m gay. That alone has been enough to push people away from me growing up in isolation. If homosexuality wasn’t enough of a social and romantic deterrent then my ungodly appearance and sense of style would finish the job. If I’m not rejected, humiliated or scorned at just by someone looking at me or hearing me speak or walk then 🤷‍♂️

[Tomisworthless]

Also take notice that no woman would comment or give their insight because I’m unattractive and not worth entertaining with their time. But at the same rate no woman has ever been honest with me over the internet. Only in real life do women show their true selves to me in passing when they make their crude sly comments about me as I go about my day

[Tomisworthless]

Another thing, I’m always told just get a haircut or grow out your hair, shave or grow out your beard. Nobody can accurately pinpoint what’s wrong with my face and how to help it. There is no fixing it and all recommendations are meaningless. It’s like a fat person exercising and suddenly looking hot but they were always attractive it was just hidden underneath the fat, unlike the skinny individual who puts on mass/muscle and is still unattractive because they were never structural attractive to begin with. That’s why most people are shocked and impressed when seeing a person go from fat to muscular than thin to muscular.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

This isn't entirely alien to me. In my case, one of the biggest things is that I'm biracial: half-white, half-Asian. So when I grew up as a boy in Japan, I was the only kid in my school who wasn't pure Japanese, and that gave me the ultimate ugly duckling complex with my half-white features which stuck out.

Then later I went to the US for high school with only black and white and Hispanic kids and no Asians except for one Vietnamese girl later who was 2 grades below me, and then I got the ugly duckling complex with my half-Asian features which stuck out.

So this included suicidal forms of depression, bullying (including the most violent forms where I had to limp home from school because I missed the school bus being gang-beaten), and social anxiety so bad that I wouldn't even answer phones or doors so afraid to talk to people. I'd hide in the house and try to be as still and quiet as possible if there was a knock on the door and hope the person knocking wouldn't notice there was any movement or noise inside.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

If you want just want to improve your aesthetic appearance without expecting any social results, maybe a nose job will help that.

However, once I started overcoming my social anxiety by university, I quickly lost my virginity, started getting dates, got my first serious girlfriend, started really socializing and partying a lot, and then I stopped hating what I saw in the mirror. I even started to kind of like it, and that involved no plastic surgery.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I see; well, the problem I always found with plastic surgery is that the face tends to form this kind of holistic image. People try to tweak one part and then the other parts don't always match. And at some point it starts to become obvious that there were cosmetic enhancements in ways that were never appealing to me.

Like I come from a visual arts background and I like to draw people's faces a lot, and there's always a beauty even to the so-called "imperfections". It's how people carry it usually that makes them look a bit miserable and off-putting or appealing.

Is your sense of self-image so bad that you can't see that at least some among other happy homosexual couples together don't look worse? Since I'm not blowing smoke up your ass saying there's nothing wrong with your looks.

Like if we hypothetically trade bodies for a week, I'm heterosexual but I'm willing to bet that I could attract women and friends with your body. I've actually got some solid social skills now if you'll forgive a boast. I can absolutely work with that.

But you know, and I don't mean this as an insult, but I think if you had my body for a week, you might not do nearly as well as I could with either yours or mine, because you have so much insecurity and a self-defeating mindset as a self-proclaimed "loser" .

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Negative attitudes almost always become self-fulfilling prophecies, you know, especially social ones because the attitude itself repels people away like the plague. But you can even see that in sports; if you find someone with a self-defeating mindset fall off the metaphorical horse, they don't get back up again and say, "I'm not cut out for this, I'll never be any good," and that becomes self-fulfilling because they don't try what they need to try to improve.

Unfortunately positive attitudes aren't self-fulfilling prophecies. Someone can have the best attitude and still fail. But at least they have a chance for success, while the negative attitude is absolutely self-fulfilling since it works towards 100% chance of failure.

So I hope you'll forgive me for diverting the topic away from aesthetics if that was all you were after, but I have an empathy thing here I recognize from my past self and I deeply suspect you desire something much more than a hypothetically "better" nose, and the nose isn't going to fix that. I want to see you happy; I've seen you on this site for a good number of years now and that's the only reason I'm pointing this out is that I think if you take some of what I said to heart, you can be happier.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Translator

its not the nose dude, its your attitude and self esteem

[Tomisworthless]

What’s wrong with those

[Anonymous]

Did you know pictures can make a person nose look bigger compared to real life? It’s a fact. Google it.

As for the surgery. Get it if you want to. Don’t worry what others think. If you believe it may make you feel better do it.

[Tomisworthless]

Trust me, my face is as flat and bland as it is in the mirror, photos or in real life. I’ve had complete strangers in public mention to me at work in passing how “they ran out of cute guys” objectively speaking I’m very repulsive and draw hatred to myself

[jahaims]

Stop being such a chick

[Tomisworthless]

I’m gay what do you expect

[jahaims]

Liking dudes doesn't make you act like a chick

[Tomisworthless]

No but it can

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@tomisworthless Then be a better woman already. You insult both men and women with your existence. Being gay isn't an excuse. You give homosexuals a bad name.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

"Gay" isn't a synonym for "child". Grow up. Think about how to better serve society, your loved ones, to be a better person. "Suicidal depression." Give me a break. Baby stuff. Fuck off. If you really had suicidal depression, you'd be dead already years ago. I saw this shit from you years ago. You want to kill yourself now? Do it. All your pain can be over right now. It'll hurt a bit but it'll be over soon. We all die in the end.