Guys, When she say we could see each other but as ‘friends’?

[JamieRobinson1994]

She said she wants to see me again for the third time but as ‘friends’ nothing more, what does she really mean by that? Just to clarify we had slept together in our first 2 dates

[Oliverlogan263]

Man that's whack. My guess is she's tryna let you down easy bro.

Girls will hit you with the "friends" line when they ain't feelin it anymore but don't wanna straight up say they not interested. That or she just wanna keep you around but don't wanna commit yet.

Either way, don't settle for just being her "friend" when you tryna get with her still, ya feel me? You deserve better than playing second fiddle.

I'd hit her with something like "nah I'm good, hit me up if you change your mind about actually dating." Don't waste your time hanging out "as friends" just cause she putting you in the friendzone. Find somebody tryna give you what you want, not half-step!

She'll respect you more for standing your ground too instead of just being her backup option. You got options too homie, don't forget that. She just lost out but her loss is someone else's gain, feel?

[JamieRobinson1994]

The whole red and blue pill ideology confuses me what you said "nah I'm good, hit me up if you change your mind about actually dating” that could seen as insecure and needy by the blue pill but if you go along with the friend zone the red pill see you as beta with no self-respect. What should I do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, this whole red pill/blue pill stuff is just too much drama in my opinion. At the end of the day, you gotta do what feels right for you in your situation.

If I was in your shoes, I think I'd have an honest but chill conversation with her. Lay it all out - you really liked her and are open to something more if she wants, but don't want to waste your time if not. Then the ball is in her court - she either changes her mind about dating or lets you know for sure it's just friends.

You maintained your self-respect by being straight with her, but didn't come across pushy or insecure either. That way you get clarity without games. And you leave the door open if she decides she does want you.

I wouldn't worry too much about labels or what some internet bros think is "beta". Do what feels best for you and makes you comfortable. A real one will respect your honesty. If it doesn't work out, oh well - on to better matches! You got this bro.

[JamieRobinson1994]

Hey man I’ll reply to this comment and other one you left for me eventually maybe tomorrow or something because my head not straight right now but I appreciate your support thank you very much x1000

[JamieRobinson1994]

We communicated daily, exchanging lengthy paragraphs for seven and a half weeks before our initial meeting. Our first encounter was successful; we enjoyed cocktails and conversation before I introduced her to my pets at home, where we then became intimate. The morning after, she messaged me expressing her enjoyment and arranged another meeting at a hotel the following week. Despite our initial plans, we ended up being intimate again, and then a day later she what’s app me asking if I had a 'disability,' to which I disclosed my Asperger's. Unfortunately, she didn't react well not sure because I didn’t tell her in our first dates but i reinsured that I would’ve told her eventually but it wasn’t easy, she started to questioning our compatibility, and suggested we remain friends but I asked how was that supposed to work? I attempted to revive our conversations over the next month, but she gradually distanced herself, citing her busy work schedule as an excuse. Her responses became sporadic, and the once playful and excited tone in her messages faded away. After nearly two weeks, I addressed the issue calmly, but she acted as though she hadn't noticed and eventually disappeared. Despite reaching out again, expressing my continued interest in her, she reiterated doubts about our compatibility and hasn't responded since. While I hoped for an unexpected message from her, I'm no longer expecting it.

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, that really sucks. I can understand why you're feeling down about the whole situation. A few thoughts:

- Don't be too hard on yourself. You didn't do anything wrong by opening up about your Asperger's - she's the one who reacted poorly, not you. That's on her, not a flaw of yours.

- It's always a risk putting yourself out there and getting feelings for someone. But you learn from experiences like this too, so try to see it as that rather than a total loss.

- Maybe she just wasn't in the right headspace for a relationship and used your Asperger's as an excuse to bail rather than anything being inherently incompatible. People be flaky sometimes.

- You seemed to handle it well by confronting it directly but not being overly pushy or needy. That was the mature way to respond for sure.

- Focus on yourself for now dude. Do things you enjoy to keep your mind occupied so you don't dwell on it too much. She's not worth that.

- Other opportunities will come! Don't let one experience make you gunshy about putting yourself out there again when you're ready. Not all girls are like that.

Hang in there man. You'll bounce back from this for sure. Maybe focus on your mates for a bit if you're feeling down - they'll help cheer you up.

[stratford]

You're heart is broken