I only have myself to blame and what vibes a I attract. I am nothing but a hit and quit it?

[Anonymous]

I never wanted hook ups, yeah I wanted sex but it would have been nice to build a relationship with someone but I be picking the wrong guys that don’t actually want me. There’s obviously something wrong with me. I like attention, but it’s the wrong attention. I have sent thirst traps to get attention through text. I am so unhappy with myself to point I just know I will be the cat lady. I am a good person, I am not rude, I like having fun (actual activities), laughing, joking, having actual conversations (deep). I hate when things don’t work out, especially if I didn't do anything, I don’t even text all the time because I hate texting due to taking things out context, over analyzing l, overthinking.

[HollyK21]

I’ve decided that attracting men who only want sex from you (whether it’s a hit and run or friends with benefits) will always be a thing, simply because those men will always exist. That’s why you just have to be smart about what you choose to do. Here are some suggestions.


For one, always act in your best, because men will never hesitate to do the same thing. They don’t attach all the emotions that we do when it comes to their decision making with women. Notice how if you’re not doing whatever thing it is that they want (usually surrounding sex) they will either ghost or drag out their communication with you until it trickles down to nothing. Same goes for if a man doesn’t wanna commit, he’ll give all these excuses as to why not, and selfishly string you along while they get what they want. All this to say, you need to be just as firm about your boundaries and equally ready to act in your own best interests rather than accommodate theirs.


Second, date with intention. You know that you want a solid relationship, so don’t even entertain a guy who doesn’t want that as well, or isn’t actively working with you towards an official title. Like before I got into this relationship and just dating, I’d ask as soon as I could snag the guy’s intentions were for talking to me. This is a specific question that calls for a straightforward answer, which is why I’d ask it. Whether or not they’re honest is their choice, but I wouldn’t even talk if they didn’t want a relationship one day as well and instead gave me some version of “let’s see how things go” or “I haven’t been single very long so I don’t know” or any signs that they’re emotionally unavailable then I’d move on. I wouldn’t sext, especially with those guys who try getting into that within days of meeting me, it shows where their priorities were.


These are just examples of how you can date smarter, because I think that’s where your answer lies.

[HollyK21]

Whoops, I meant to say “I’d ask as soon as I could WHAT the guy’s intentions were”

[HateyouxD]

Life is seriously all a gamble
Not everyone will like you
Stop being a hit it and quit kind of gal
Love yourself fiercely
Mingle and date around but don't sleep around
Just pick 1 person to be a fuck buddy while you go find Mr right

[Asker]

I don’t even want to date anymore. Had a fuck buddy, he ended up getting a girlfriend during the pandemic

[ChicoFromThe305]

Thirst traps isn't a healthy way to get people's attention, if you want the right attention from the right people you have to feed them the right things, you are expecting someone to value you as more than just an object but you treat yourself like an object, when you start to value yourself and respect yourself, you'll get the same energy from others, but you expect to be loved and respected and not sexualized the wrong way but show your body like it's for sale, cover yourself and let your personality take control and you'll see change.

[jahaims]

You need attention to feel validated because you don't have self worth. Gain self worth and you will stop seeking validation.