Why do I always self sabotage my relationships?

[NickiMinajAtVEVO]

[btbc92]

First, you need to ask yourself are those relationships are where you should be in the first place? Are they GOOD RELATIONSHIPS with GOOD PEOPLE, and it is a GOOD THING? Because it sounds like to me you getting into relationships where you don't already love yourself and have good self-esteem. That is very important. Are these relationships your parents approve? Do they know who you are dating or want to date? How about their parents? Are your friends in an agreement with who you are dating and what goes on in that relationship? This is extremely important because your friends can see things you will not be able to see if you're blinded by infatuation and hormones.

Self-sabotage can only happen if you already know you are in something good, and that person reminds you spiritually, not emotionally that it is GOOD. But if you feel nothing but bad feelings and emotions around this person, that may be a sign that this is not a good relationship or you're with a bad person. That is often your intuition.

Now if that person is already doing the right things by you, care about you, not forcing you or enticing you to do things that you wouldn't agree with or even your parents wouldn't approve, then maybe you have trust issues and needs to develop a friendship more than getting into romantic relationships. Also to add, if these are PEOPLE who you NEVER BEEN FRIENDS WITH for years, oftentimes you run into this problem. Take your TIME. If they cannot respect you, then it's not self-sabotage. You just dodged a bullet.

[crmoore]

My guess is good at anyone else's, and that's all it is, just a guess, but I'd guess it's because you're afraid of being hurt. If someone else ruins the relationship, you might not see it coming, and if you don't see it coming, it'll hurt a lot. But if you sabotage the relationship, you know it's coming and it doesn't hurt as bad because you prepare. It's probably a defense mechanism.

[andy530]

Could be due to a subconscious fear of intimacy

[Emanon_18]

How?