Why do I self sabotage?

[Anonymous]

I met a guy online a year ago who lives about 4 hours from me. We chatted briefly, but nothing came from the communication.

He reached out 6 months ago. We met and shared an intimate exchange.

Unfortunately, I thought about him often for about three months. Just when I had stopped thinking of him. This guy texted me out of the blue.

He told me that he was out of town for work and that he periodically thought of our encounter.

My first thought was, "This guy is in a relationship." He contacted me while on a business trip very similar to when met a few months back.

I sent a text and emoji response , then he didn't respond to my message for more than a month. The next time he contacted me. I didn't respond for a month. He followed my lead and about a month later the guy texted.

At that point, I was over it and sent a detached yet emotional text about how I felt safe with him. I figured it was tigger his flight response and he would leave me alone. Additionally, I blocked his number.

I know this is not healthy, but I keep thinking about this guy. I have a pattern of picking unavailable guys, so I know nothing good will come from contacting him.

It probably has a lot to do with me not talking or dating anyone this year resulting in him often crossing my mind.

I feel so stupid and need help to get over it.

[ohsheeT]

Ok will dont feel stupid. Because your not.. he had many opportunities to show you who he was and what he was all about by having contact with you. But when it goes for a month and then a month and he only seems like he wants you. When he wants not meant to be


And you should always go. With your guts feeling because that's your energy. That's the real you. The true you so dont beat yourself up. For something he has done...

In lifebwhen things are right. The that's the way there are. And you keep it going. He dropped the ball many times. And he knew he did, but he just decided not to do anything about it until the next time he wanted you. So , like I said , don't beat yourself up , he was just to he was really

And you're learning experience was. I don't want to be with a guy like this. I mean more than that. That's for sure. So you did the right thing

It's not self sabotage. You were smart you allowed things to play out

I mean you could have not done that and you can start reaching out to him and it would all just been fake. You would have spent more time being tricked... and then you would have a broken heart. I say good job for doing what you did. Most girls could do that because they would be afraid they were going to lose the guy... and then been heart broken. For what they never had the guy any way. I give you a high five I say that a girl I say you're smart and you save yourself big big heart ache

[Staximus]

The guy just used you for a piece of ass, I don't know why you are even attached to him. Forget about that fuck boy and move in with your life. Next time nevermind the long distance bullshit.

[WhitneySnow]

Very sus how he ignores you for like a month and only texts you on business trips

[RHK36]

Stop dating unavailable men. Date someone that wants to be with you and closer.

[jahaims]

Unhealed trauma