Never been in a relationship, how do I progress to a relationship?

[JamieRobinson1994]

I never been in a relationship but I’ve been on dates and been through talking stages and every time I progress to a certain length of interaction with girls I always get hit with ‘let’s be friends’, ‘I’m not sure we are compatible’, ‘I don’t think long term will work’ etc. Why does it keep happening to me? What am I doing wrong?

I was never someone who’s been actively looking a relationship specifically, I never ruled out a relationship, I just wanted to see where things go but somehow I could only reach to a certain threshold. For anyone who’s currently in or previous been in a long term relationship how the hell not only survive a long term relationship but also how to form a relationship? Getting laid is difficult as it is because I was a virgin until I was 26 but trying to get into relationship is even harder.

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, that sucks dude. Dating is a rough game. But don't sweat it, you're not alone - most guys struggle with this too. A few things that might help:

- Don't come on too strong chasing a relationship. Girls can smell desperation from a mile away. Just focus on having fun and seeing if you connect naturally first.

- Ask open-ended questions on dates so they talk more about themselves. People love that. And actually listen!

- Compliment them, but don't just focus on looks. Comment on her personality, sense of humor, passions etc.

- Suggest low key casual dates at first so there's no pressure. Netflix, coffee, mini golf - get comfortable with each other.

- Be confident in yourself too! Hold your head high and don't put yourself down. Fake it til you make it man.

- Join some clubs or rec sports so you meet more people outside dating apps too.

Don't sweat the small stuff too - relationships take time. Keep putting yourself out there and it'll happen bro. Just focus on being a good dude and having fun for now! You got this.

[JamieRobinson1994]

Thanks man I love your answer I didn’t expect any type comfort on here but I appreciate it ver much.

I never acted desperate for relationship, I never asked out of girl before but somehow I end up getting rejected once I reached certain time frame with that person

I did regret on the first 2 dates I didn’t ask her enough question compared to the amount of questions she asked me.

I rarely complemented her too because I don’t want to seen as someone coming on too hard or simpy if you know what I mean?

[Oliverlogan263]

No worries man, we've all been there. Dating can definitely be tricky to figure out sometimes. A few things on what you mentioned:

- I feel you on not wanting to come across as too much, but a little bit of complimenting goes a long way. As long as it seems genuine, chicks usually like knowing they're appreciated.

- Asking lots of questions is key - it shows you're interested in getting to know HER, not just talking about yourself. Gotta find a balance though so it's not an interview vibe either.

- Maybe try suggesting some low-pressure group dates at first too instead of just one-on-one. Takes some pressure off and is more casual to get comfortable.

Don't sweat the past dates too much either bro, we all have stuff we could've done different with retrospect. Focus on what you can improve next time, like listening more and finding little ways to show you care beyond just talking about yourself, ya feel?

Keep your head up, keep getting practice. Dating is a marathon not a sprint. Just chill, be yourself, and the right girl will stay rocking with you instead of blocking you after a short time, you got this!

[IslaTheWitch]

talk to the women you are with... learn their perspectives, share your. Without communication, alignments, compromises, and negotiations, you won't know what is happening in the relationship, what doesn't work... what she misses? what you would like to change?

[Nikki1989]

Some people are just not relationship material, so if you want it to work you will have to work extra hard at it. It comes natural for some, not for others.

[JamieRobinson1994]

I was naive young man that I believed it’s primarily good looks to get a relationship to work but now it’s other factors like social skills, having goals in life, having a high income, not being broke etc

[Anonymous]

Another reminder of how my mentality has changed