What is your advice for a person who is never been in a relationship?

[Justneedtokno]

I would like to put myself out there and other than high school I’ve never really been in a real relationship.
I’ve been in a situation where I thought I was in a relationship but he wasn’t in the relationship.

With everything going on nowadays Everything detour you away from even want to be in a relationship. Social media TV movies but truly experiencing it for yourself I just feel like I need to be guarded at all times

Updates

+1 y

I believe multiple people deserve the MHO for this one thank you all for the advice

Updates

+1 y

Also how do you shut off your emotions when dating?

[Lionman95]

Take your time and make up a list of standards in terms of personality and character he needs to be able fulfill. The reason for that is that many "good"(in terms of decent/reliable) guys have standards and a woman that´s open for everything is less likely to be attractive for such guys.
Yes many guys will complain about that and sometimes female standards can be high but those guys might not be ready for a relationship.
So make up a list and make some research where these guys could be found. Like if you´re looking for a rather gentleman or traditional guy don´t look for them in strip-clubs or sex shops because they might not be there.
Use rather offline ways than online dating, that will take probably longer to get to know a guy but the chance of wasting your time and money is higher using online-dating.

[Waldoe]

As you may know, I am old, 71 and still going...
This is how I think about breakups... lost Loves...
It HURTS like hell, and I am Glad...
I have cried so hard I couldn't breath, and I am Glad...
The greater the Pain... meant it was worth it...
Only Great Love can hurt that bad...
I am Glad And I was Blessed to have had that
I was Lucky to have had it, even if just for a short time.
The best part.. I found great Love again.
How do I know? because it's gonna hurt,

no matter how or why it ends

[Justneedtokno]

Aww this is painful sweet.

[Savage_Wisdom]

Relationships are hard work. They require mutual respect, you're never going to see eye to eye on everything. But more importantly, and I know this is extremely corny, but the best thing you can do is be yourself. You want them to fall for you, not some imaginary version of you that you made up.

[Gwenhwyfar]

High school counts. It also counts if he tells you you’re his girlfriend but you really aren't.

Best advice I can give is just wing it. When you’re in one and you have a specific question let me know.

[Justneedtokno]

Thanks I’m really just nervous I don’t wanna get my heart broken

[Gwenhwyfar]

It’ll happen once or twice but then you’ll find the right person

[Andres77]

Patience.
Be observant.
Learn how to do online background checks.
It's not stalking as much as protecting yourself.
The goal is never to hurt anyone else but to protect yourself... and hopefully find peace and love in a safe place.
Love yourself enough NOT TO SETTLE!

[GoldenAxer]

I never thought it was so different from building and maintaining relationships with friends and colleagues. So I think practicing that and being able to get along with people like being able to turn a total stranger into a friend or getting along well with colleagues at work often translates to being able to get along better with your lover (as well as finding one with whom you're most compatible in the first place).

[GoldenAxer]

I see it as a social skill ultimately and I think the lover tends to be the most challenging. It's like maybe level 1 is maintaining great relationships with colleagues and acquaintances. Level 2 is maintaining great relationships with family and close friends. Level 3 is maintaining great relationships with a lover.

[Wiredone]

It's true. You always have to keep your guard up until you don't have to anymore. Take baby steps towards the relationship. Always check to see if both of you are on the same page. Find out what his intentions are when you start seeing someone.

[Anonymous]

Don't sweat it. There's not much love left to be found. i myself was in a relationship for under a year long before she decided not to work and turn into a gold digger and found a rich guy behind my back 😒

but definitely don't listen to anybody telling you to wait. Waiting is forever postponing. Waiting sucks and is a waste of time.

[EaterPeter]

Please don't it's lots of work and failure rate is much higher

[Justneedtokno]

I want to try

[EaterPeter]

Well all the best then

[EaterPeter]

Do your best, do structured pre-marital counseling for 6 months with the person to increase possibilities of ever lasting relationship. Hoping that is the goal.

[EaterPeter]

Pick someone with bachelor's degree at least.

[Justneedtokno]

Thanks I look it to if someone serious comes around

[EaterPeter]

Welcome

[EaterPeter]

@Justneedtokno thank you for like!

[Jamie05rhs]

Why don't you count your boyfriend from high school? That's f*cked up. I would be insulted if I were him.

[Justneedtokno]

Well because I really wasn’t aware of a lot of things and it was not under the eyes of my parents so I also felt like I was doing something wrong

[Jamie05rhs]

So what? Who cares what your parents think? If you and him had feelings for each other, then it was real.

Do you get your parents' permission and prior authorization on your current relationships as an adult?

[Justneedtokno]

Well… I do take their opinion in to consideration.

[Jamie05rhs]

Oh, okay. I guess that's a good thing. I'm glad you have a good relationship with your parents and you can trust them with these things. :)

[Justneedtokno]

Yeah. I think It takes a lot for me to even bring home a person.. And honestly I have only brought maybe one or two people home but still didn’t feel right about it

[Jamie05rhs]

You mean home to meet your parents?

[Justneedtokno]

Parents and family

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay; cool. Yeah, same here.

[Justneedtokno]

Check your DM

[Jamie05rhs]

"How do you shut off your emotions when dating?". WOW. That's a great question. I have thought about this before as well.
I actually DO try to shut off my emotions as much as possible. Because 1) they say that girls don't like it when you appear "needy", and 2) I do it to protect my own heart, because women are so fickle and they could ghost you at any minute with no warning whatsoever. So I don't want to become too emotionally invested with anyone.

[Justneedtokno]

It’s not just women men are too

[Justneedtokno]

And it’s crazy because it’s like you don’t supposed to think much of it but think some thing of it

[Jamie05rhs]

@Justneedtokno No; men aren't fickle. They know exactly what they want. And they lie to get it.

[Jamie05rhs]

"And it’s crazy because it’s like you don’t supposed to think much of it but think some thing of it". What do you mean?

[Justneedtokno]

Yes or no you have some men that are just confused. And I mean whendating they say that you’re supposed to be carefree and fun and go with the flow but when it starts getting to another point I think emotions get in the way. So how do you stay fun and carefree without getting your emotions involved

[Jamie05rhs]

I don't believe in going with the flow. I believe in being intentional.

[Smegskull]

Get a pet and forget about it. Relationships are a thing of the past. Women can work and men have porn, we have no biological motivation to tolerate each other any more.

[Justneedtokno]

Lol well I do have pet but I still would want a human Companion

[Smegskull]

Then get a roommate. Don't need to be in a relationship to not be alone.

[moviedude714]

Are you saying that you feel you've never officially had a boyfriend?

[Julious0202]

just be yourself