What's your advice to people in their 20s who have never been in a relationship before?

[SPARKLEintheDARK5]

[ohshee]

A relationship is 50-50 and all you can control is your 50% when you walk into a relationship just because you're giving your 50% doesn't mean your partner is going to give their 50% in the very first part of your relationship watch how your partner treats other people I don't care who it is or what's going on but when your partner treat somebody bad our talks crap about somebody that's exactly who they are and that's how they're going to treat you somewhere down the road this will tell you everything about that person it is the biggest red flag ever it's just a preview of what's coming if there's ever a problem this is what the person is going to treat you like.
See how long it take you for your first argument I don't think you should have one for at least 2 years 3 years
And the first time somebody lies best downhills side as a relationship it's the beginning of the end,
99 out of 100 first relationships, FAILS, if you start seeing red flags save yourself heartache just get out before your heart gets broken all you can control is your 50% it's all you can do you're up in limbo so what you have to do is commit to yourself your 50% you will give you a 50% and if they don't give there's any break up at least you did your best we all have an energy inside of us when that energy falls in love with with another person's energy it hurts when you break up that when your energy falls in love with somebody it makes it a little bit easier but when two energies fall in love it's a whole different world if it comes down to a breakup walkaway hold your head up high it's just a moment in time.
So congratulations on your new relationship have fun learn everything you can like I said the first time you make argues with anybody talks about anybody look how deep they go with it because that's who they really are and one day they're going to treat you the same way other than all this bullshit have fun learning everything you possibly can don't fall too far in love like I said first relationships fail you have to accept that and walk away from it when it starts don't drag it on believe me you're going to have 20 more people you go through before you find the one sorry for being such a happy person this morning but this is the truth I said good luck let your heart go give all your love and become friends with somebody I hope all the above never happens but if it does you are stronger than you believe you are and you will make it through it remember this part Your Love is most beautiful thing in the world when you share it with somebody there is nothing to do everything in this world however deep your love is and how ever did your pain is I should delete this whole answer but I'm not going to this isn't really any advice it's just something that will happen and everybody's relationship at one point or another the biggest red flag ever in this world the first time you partner starts yelling at somebody treating you badly pay attention this is who they really are this is how they're going to treat you someday down the road just a matter of time that's the only advice I can give you

[Am_and_Pm]

It's a game with a lot a players and hoes and u will loose money regardless of playing and u will love it and go out looking for it (<<maybe).

I guess my advice will be...
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Use a condom.
Be nice.
Ask good questions.
Care for people not just one person.
Don't cheat. If ur thinking of cheating, don't. Be in a open relationship or have friends with benefits or be a hoe, just don't cheat.
Lastly, but not that important, do drugs... together. That's a real adventure.

[AmandaYVR]

My advice is... go for it. Just do it. If in doubt, just try things. Try out different people. Say yes more than no. Don't live in fear. Remember it's just your ego talking and you won't spontaneously combust. Yes, you're going to feel awkward sometimes, yes you'll be embarrassed sometimes. But it doesn't matter. You'll live. And you'll live to tell the tales, with all the gory details. And you will entertain others, and find solidarity for years to come.

You have to taste test different people to know when a truly great one comes along. Because great doesn't just look great on the outside, from the get-go. You have to listen to them, really listen, to know. Don't sit around and wait for 'the one' and experience nothing in the mean time. Humans have been doing this for hundreds of thousands of years and how did they do it? They pick one and go for it. It's fun, getting to know people. (Later, they'll drive you crazy. But that's another story.)

Be open, and curious. If you have genuine curiosity in others, they will feel it, and you will spread love and appreciation out into the world, and even if you soon go your separate ways, you will have gained something by all the people you meet.

[Bellatris]

I was going to write a response to this question, but after reading yours I see there is simply no need to, because this answer is perfect. You deserve the MHG award. :)

[AmandaYVR]

@Bellatris Aww thanks so much. I appreciate it 💐

[Alyssa11]

So much advice - I didn't get into a relationship until I was 18!!

- Don't put your next relationship onto a pedestal.
- Everybody is different, you won't know what you want in a partner, what you like and dislike, what you will tolerate and not tolerate, until you have dated around. So date around and keep your options open.
- Perhaps one of the most important advice of all: set an intention before you invest your time into someone. Don't invest your time into someone just for the sake of it - know what you want out of this situation/relationship. Is it a fling? Is it a commitment? Is it a relationship while you're at school? Is it marriage? Otherwise you'll be sailing a boat without direction and you WILL DROWN.

[Unbeatable]

U've never had a succesful relationship.

[Alyssa11]

What do you mean?

[jennifer_bloom]

I would say to build your career and get work experience and build professional connections and make friends and learn to do things like cook and plant fruits and vegetables and mend broken or improperly fitted clothes and trouble shooting methods with broken electronics and style and fashion and make up cause those skills will help you when you seek to get married, and exercise when you have time because you want to be at a healthy weight in the event of a possible pregnancy.

[Dontaaa]

So basically, perfection.

[pervertedjester]

Save yourself some trouble by dating friends rather than wasting love on someone who has to be trained in.

[yofuknutz]

Yeah but the problem is the friend zone syndrome that has been tried to death in the 90s but there is a point

[pervertedjester]

@yofuknutz You can either try or stay friends, which hurts more in the long run.

[red324]

Both are very painful depending on how maturely things are ended. I'd prefer to try and be hurt than wonder what could have been.

[Thedivinechic]

@pervertedjester You're not kidding. Training someone who's never been loved is the worst. Having to prove your love is like proving you saw a unicorn in your bedroom that glittered through his horn.

[Djaay]

What's wrong with you'all on this thread? Love isn't trainable nor does it take any brains to love someone. Friends , stupid...

[Jamie05rhs]

@red324 I'd rather not hurt anyone. Yes, I could wonder about what could have been, but I don't waste any mental energy on that. No one is that important.

[OlderAndWiser]

Hurry up! You're wasting time!

[Laciandmaci]

My grandmother didn't date until 34 and had 6 kids after marriage!

[OlderAndWiser]

@Laciandmaci An atypical example does not disprove the general rule.

[Dontaaa]

Damn.. so many people disliked this..

[OlderAndWiser]

@Dontaaa Yeah, WTF is up with that?

[TruthBringer]

It seems like people don't like getting told they should hurry up lol

[OlderAndWiser]

@TruthBringer Maybe they were hoping to hear, "Don't worry. The right person will knock on your front door eventually, and they'll beg you to date them!"

[TruthBringer]

Exactly, people don't like to hear they have to put in effort in life to get what they want 😂

[Jamie05rhs]

I am living proof that @OlderAndWiser's statement is true.
To the downvoters: You can either listen, or you can learn the hard way. Your choice.

[FlutteringFeelings]

Figure out who you are before you seek out a relationship. If you love yourself then there are certain behaviors that you wouldn’t tolerate from anyone because you prioritize your personal space. The only questions you should be asking yourself in your mind when someone approaches you is: “Who sent him? and What is his motives?” You’ll continue to do a mental assessment and to make sure that the standards your establish should align with the man who who comes along. I’ve never been in a relationship but I know that the recipe to achieving anything in life is self-love. You will know whether to stay or leave if what you’re presented with doesn’t serve you well.

[Browneye57]

Choose wisely, treat kindly. __Dr. Laura

Make sure you're going it for the right reasons. The neediness for attention and validation only goes so far. At some point, if you're not in a place to GIVE, it simply won't go anywhere.

Have you even once considered what you would DO for YOUR man? Do you have any idea how to keep a man?

And what do you bring of high value to a relationship? You need to be able to articulate this cuz a high value guy will expect it. And no, it's not your empathy, or your golden vagina. My guess is you've never even thought about it.

[SnuffleMuffins]

The most important thing that I stand by up to this day; Be yourself! Don't be someone who you're not. Don't act any other way than how you normally would. In other words, don't worry about impression. When we stress about impression we lose connection to ourselves. That's the worst thing that can happen when dating. The most important relationship you're ever going to have in your life is not with another person, but rather yourself. You need to develop that relationship with yourself so that you don't get disconnected from yourself.
Another things I want to say, this is more about the actual relationship part, is that communication is very important. Be open with your partner and encourage them to be open with you as well. This includes everything from daily chores to feelings to sex. Communicate your feelings, wants, needs, and desires to your partner. And if there's something you're unhappy about then talk with them.

[The_Maphio]

Bad time to be young, for starters. Best of luck finding somebody not absorbed in a brainless hive-mind or in some political fight of which most of the participants know fuck-all about.
Vert your partnership candidates carefully, before you end up with somebody able to fuck up your relationship for the stupidest of reasons. If you still have parents, seek advices from them, who came from a healthier period in time. It's not stupid nor embarassing. That's one of the things parents are around for.

[tdm209]

Learn about yourself first. If you're fine, happy and feel content while being single it's a good start.
Set boundaries and respect them.
There's no "the one" like movies and social media tell you. There are many.
You don't own people or your partner anything and you don't have to "fix" them.
Don't try to change your partner, you can't. Love yourself and accept who they are even when it's on the bad side.
If you feel broken or pathetic. Don't date or start a relationship. You're just wasting your time and your partner.
Control your feeling (especially women) if you can't, check in with your partner.
If you want to stop, tell it to your partner. Don't cheat.

[GingerGuy]

A lot of women want to know if a guy is serious about them or not. Some people are great actors/actresses, but one of the major "signs" they are not (and don't usually fake) is if the person shows little to no interest in you as a person or your life in general. Reason they don't, because they don't care most likely. Sometimes we believe what we want to believe in relationships and "ignore" signs like this. Or think it'll change or get better.

[friendlypelican]

communication. you may think you understand but you really dont. communication can sometimes be the be all end all and a lot of people dont realise it... also a lot of people are assholes... never date people if you’re uncertain. have fun, relax and just enjoy the ride. relationships are all experimenting, finding yourself and just all around having fun! if you find you're not having fun or only sometimes having fun while others you're upset, there's an issue.


last but not least, manipulators and cheaters are always unimaginably sweet in the beginning and rude at the end... keep checking in on those red flags! dont stay with someone because of what they use to be because it may not have even been who they really were in the first place 💞

[lilyanony1]

It ain't easy. You're gonna build it up in your head... Be smart. Look for a friend someone you can laugh, argue, resolve and make future plans with. Someone into you as much as you're into them. And not the superficial stuff, I mean the person who takes you to the hospital when your sick or brings/shares random things with you because well they thought of you.
The kind of person that could have no more than a dollar in their wallet and make each day feel like you have one million bucks and more.
. Someone you trust with all your heart.

It's not a fairytale or a fantasy. There are good people out there you just gotta tread carefully.
This is your life.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

I know I'm also a person in my 20s, so I can only give advice based on what I learned in ny first serious relationship.

-Being single is better than being in a bad relationship
-If you have to convince yourself you're happy, you aren't
-Allow yourself and your partner to change and grow, that's what your 20s are all about
-Have standards and boundaries and be ready to defend them
-The red flags you ignore now end up being the reason you leave later. Be prepared to walk away to protect yourself
-If you are wrong, admitted it. If you messed up, apologize and try to do better. If you are unhappy, say so

[es20490446e]

Breaking up can be THE WORST PAIN EVEN, specially when you are inexperienced. You are literally hung up into that person MORE than if it was a drug, more painful than stopping seeing your family.

So qualify your prospect before even start dating them, and getting emotionally invested in them. If both of you are really into each other, they are a dependable person, and they want the same kind of relationship as you do (open or monogamous).

If there's any small doubt about it, don't even try! Directly or indirectly, ask all the important questions beforehand.

[es20490446e]

Some people will say that you should date plenty of people before finding the right one. Don't listen to that. It's just easier to qualify beforehand! No need to all that drama.

100% of people that I dated I knew we weren't good for each other in less than two weeks. If I had just meet them outside dating, and asked the important questions, I had save me from 100% of heart breaks.

[es20490446e]

When you find the right candidate, fully invest into them. And simply treat them as another human.

[I-C3_ME]

I saw some comments and y'all are insane. True, you can't just go through life without putting effort in but "women are prostitutes, they're all over the internet", you're kidding right?

My advice is just, if you see a guy you like ask him out. Don't wait for him, cuz mostly we don't really notice and it's easier moving on when you actually got an answer and that might actually be a yes. Just don't get angry when you get a no cuz that doesn't look good on anyone. Also don't look for the perfect guy, cuz they don't exist. Find someguy you are attracted and can trust and boom, relationship (course if it's mutual).

[Anonymous]

Take your time. Don't rush if you're not ready.

Make sure you're with someone who deserves you.

Communicate with your partner, more especially when disagreement or conflict arises.

Respect your partner and be respected by your partner.

Be understanding, and be understood.

Be independent and build yourself, so that you can do most things without your partner's help, but note that you still need a supportive partner.

Support your partner's decision whenever possible, sometimes even when you don't agree with your partner's choices but he/she has decided is the best (and is not harmful to anyone).

[Opinion Owner]

(continued)

Don't make your partner the priority at all times. YOU are the priority for yourself, even though sometimes you may decide to compromise and put your partner first. Sometimes...

Try to work the relationship out whenever possible. When it's not feasible, be willing to let go and walk away even if your heart doesn't want. It'll take time to heal.

Take care of yourself while you're in the relationship, and after you leave the relationship if it didn't work out.

[DJB72]

Don't rush to get into a relationship if you're not ready or just because your friends are.

If you want a real relationship, don't get into a "friends with benefits" situation. All that does is devalue you to a guy who's worth waiting for and who thinks you are.

Love yourself.

[zeitgeist057]

Romantic relationships come more naturally when you are social with more people. If you want to be in a romantic relationship and want it to have a better chance of success, then my advice is to build all your other relationships. Hang out with people, talk with them, understand them. Your family, your friends, strangers. Learn to connect with people in general and it will help you connect with someone special.

[genericname85]

don't be affraid of making mistakes. cause you will only learn what's right and good "for you" by making mistakes. but don't be min less either. educate yourself to be as responsible about things as you can. if you think that those 2 things are contradictory or hard to navigate: welcome to life xD we're all in that Boat.

[Willoughby23]

Im 24 never had a relationship but I've had sex with two girls and could of fucked a third but she was on her period and we lost touch. I've got a friends with benefits thing going on with a girl rn so at least that’s something. I didn’t lose my virginity till I was 23

[Shivraj12s]

Relationship is temporary , dont waste your time , no girl/guy will come for you when you loose everything
You will find your love after you will get success.
Focus on your career for your parents, make them proud thats the real beauty of life
Stay away stay away just stay away...

[boggboss]

Always have lines you are not willing to cross such as allow a partner to treat u like shit because he says he loves u always communicate all issues and fears you have plus talking about what both parties actully want out off the relationship

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

Don’t rush it. You can never get back the innocent optimism you have when you’ve never seen the dark side of relationships.
A bad relationship can kill you; or worse a bad relationship can steal your hope and humanity.

[Xoirwinkan]

I am in the same position. If you are looking for a real relationship, Try looking for some sort of club, church, or meeting place to meet people in a nice, easy-going way.

I joined a board game club, and funny thing, there are almost no girls there, haa!

[Cathy7734]

My Dad tells me to get a dog and become best friends with it. After two years then I'm ready for a relationship with a guy.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I would tell them to wait until they are 30 to date.

I feel like people are so paranoid that they will end up alone, that they fuck up their ability to have a stable relationship because they rush into them.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

at 30 is the end for dating, no girlf at 30 then forever alone.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Alexandrubaschet08 Nah, thats just your paranoia talking.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

what you mean?
you get at age 30, is the end, cut the D and close the P.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Alexandrubaschet08 The reality is thinking that way is more likely to have you end up alone, because you will rush dating, end up with a person you weren't compatible with, who had your kids, so now you can't find a good girlfriend ever again, because of those kids and the ex partner baggage they bring.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Alexandrubaschet08 No one wants their partner's ex in their life.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

at 30 you will be to old to understand your kid when he/she will grow up and your world will be to diferent and problem bethwin parents and kids will show up.
At 30 is the end, or at last it should be.
Personaly i hate the ideea to keep dating when i'm more over 30.
At 30 i should already have a wife and kids. Many of my ex colage friend have already.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Alexandrubaschet08 if you wait until 30, then by that time you already had experience in being around enough adult people to know what you want, and your post puberty stupidity will have faded, and same goes for girls, so any relationships started after 30 will have a much higher chance of succeeding, and the only reason it's so hard to date after 30, is because lots of people choose a partner long before then, then they have kids, fight, get divorced, and stay as single parents and grow old alone.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

Divorce is the moust usless thing that had been invented.
Why you marry and asume to stay forever and ever togeder in good and bad time if that is not a divine promise.
What the point of the marriage comparing whit a normal relationship then?
Dating afther 30, both partener start to look bad, to much bad experience from the past, a very short relationship and a huge diference bethwin parents and kids will rezult in crazy kids that will become crazy people.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Alexandrubaschet08 The reason divorce happens is BECAUSE people get married TOO EARLY.

Would you rather they stayed together until one died from stress or abuse? Divorce is not useless, marrying someone before you had enough time to get to know them is useless, marrying someone who isn't compatible with you is useless, and divorce fixes both mistakes.

Better to simply not make those mistakes though, hence my advice.

Also marriage is the result of a normal relationship, divinity isn't involved (especially for atheists like myself)

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Alexandrubaschet08 Also I'm 35 and look the same as I did at 14, and aging isn't a reason to dump someone.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

The East Europ have the lowest rate of divorce comparing whit West Europ. In East if you don't marry as a boy or girl before 25 (1 yare afther you finish your studys) people think is something whrong whit you, even the family. Afther 30 evrething is pure resemnation and a bunch of luck

[Alexandrubaschet08]

100% you don't nobady don't
I personaly start to see my girl that are my age unatractive and i'm anoyed that girl that are younger then me are more atractive and i know they are more anoying and imature.
I look WAY diferent from 14 and i'm 27.
If i don't finde somebody before 30 then 100% i will be forever alone

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Alexandrubaschet08 You sound immature and not ready for marriage with anyone.
You also have an unrealistic view.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

In East Europ you marry when you are teen and look good 20-25. Kids come 25-35.
Divorce is legal, but is a huge taboo for many people and a HUGE shame.
In the last couple of iare our divorce rate increase and many includin me start to critizate thous marriages.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Depending on social constructs for habits rather than logic is a bad idea.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

what is a bad idea?

[serious]

I am 33 years old and I have always been single and I have no regrets.

Hence, for people in their 20's I will say just enjoy your life to the fullest.

[Nazgol]

Take your time, dont fall in love too quickly, never get physical unless you're in a committed relationship first, think with your head not heart

[kidvid80]

do what feels right for you, plenty of people haven't been in relationships of all ages. if you meet that right person you will know and go from there

[hellacray]

Make room in your apartment and start getting info on aa meetings.

Cause you will remain single forever and probably adopt a ton of cats. Then you will develop an addiction for cheap boxed wine.

[Avicenna]

Don't assume you'll be with the first person you date forever but also don't worry about it ending- just enjoy yourself.

[Maissilapsi]

Best thing you can do to yourself is learning to enjoy your own personal time, not as someones... something. But your own you

[Maissilapsi]

I don't mean that as "give up" but it comes with perks which benefit you in other ways. Learning to value yourself, your time, makes others do so too. Your self-respectful attitude glows as you become more respectful for others, who answers with returning more respect. It can easily reflect on your salary but it'll certainly reflect to your relationships

[Bella9191]

Nothing, whatever mistakes you make will show you what you need to learn about yourself and help your grow as a person.

[Libbers]

No comment. I’m close to it and my experience has not been good. Mostly my fault. But. I’m ok with it all.

[WesBrewer]

Seems like all the guys say it screwed and most the girls say wait, haha

[Twalli]

It will happen and whoever gets you will be lucky to be the first person you love truly. I didn't get a girlfriend until I was 27

[exitseven]

Don't get in too deep. You will have a few relationships before you find somebody that you feel comfortable enough with to let yourself fall in love.

[es20490446e]

I believe she's asking so she doesn't need to go down that unnecessary pain.

[pink_and_inlove]

Just be you they’ll find out how you are eventually. And be with someone that appreciates you for who you are and doesn’t judge you but instead joins you when you show them your weird or goofy side

[FilmGuy93]

Don't be scared! Go with the flow, and for the love of god; have fun.

[Hanrej]

Take your time. A bad relationship is worse than no relationship.

[courtney06]

enjoy it while it lasts. Heartbreak sucks, especially for HSPs

[midnightmoon05]

What do I think? Nothing.
I would say... what are your plans?

[Anonymous]

Don't pass up opportunities. Go to whatever school you like and get whatever job you want. If the relationship is meant to be it will survive you being apart.

[Astarlessnightsky]

Nothing, enjoy life and don't listen to others, don't feel pressured or something.

[Pink_sky16]

Honestly , enjoy your twenties think about settling down at 30

[Djaay]

Why? Just cancel any good opportunity huh?

[Laciandmaci]

I am almost 24 and never dated, I am happy with my chosen path!

[jshm2]

That you've left it a bit late, and will probably only get shitty or toxic relationships now.

[KrakenAttackin]

I don't even know what constitutes a "relationship" to this crowd.

[magneto912]

Me neither. In my generation , I do not know what a relationship is considered.

[yofuknutz]

I see the red and black pill I see what you did there

[magneto912]

@yofuknutz These 2 guide me...

[Floppy2112]

At 23 the world is your oyster. What do you want? Do you want a relationship? What are your requirements for the man?

[Thedivinechic]

Enjoy life. No rush. Relationships are hard and people are no longer as committed because everyone's attention span is like 5 seconds now.

[IHateBeingaMan]

i'm sure there are more guys in this boat than women are, and if its 30s and beyond and still like this, definetley 99 percent male

[themythos]

No point in rushing to be in one. Lifes cheaper when you're eating for one

[Noodle_fan]

my advice is nothing wrong with that
it really better to take things very slow in this matter , rather than being too hasty and ended up being hurt

[Smiley_93]

Worry about your career and financial necessities, a relationship will come to you when your ready to take that leap. But for now, focus on you and your future.

[innerman]

they are not compatible with earth... should move to the neighboring plante.


It’s the 21st century... I think everyone has had a crush, loved or been in love by the time they are 20

[Laciandmaci]

Not me, I had a small innocent crush never dated still.

[innerman]

well... you are strong. Most of us are weak and always give in to emotions🥺

[Laciandmaci]

thanks! I just don't want a guy or sex yet. I guess I am not ready (I know I am an idiot)

[Anonymous]

pick someone more mature/responsible... (not in age, but in personality)

[friendzoned4life]

For women: ask the guy out you like

For men: give up trying and go work on yourself women don't want us unless we are rich or have sixpacks and act like an asshat

[Firesniper36]

Just keep living your life and enjoy it you will find the right person soon

[Anonymous]

Chuck and put on your seatbelt

[moviedude714]

I was like this, it's still depresses and hurts at times and probably always will

[shalt]

Don't fall in love. Don't forget, do not fall for someone, anyone. Just try to be happy