How can I accept that I'm almost 30 and have never had a girlfriend because im ugly?

[Anonymous]

After a while this shit really gets to you mentally

[SolitarySolace]

You aren’t missing out on anything. Trust me.

[IHateBeingaMan]

another reminder but oh well

[sawno]

Alright so you are almost 30, looks aren't the thing you should be bummed out over. What have you accomplished? Are you capable of being a good provider for her? Did you work on your personality? Focus on the things you can improve if some of those aren't sorted out and then date a girl who is similarly attractive than you are or win over a girl trough pure personality.

Because if I was going to say that people who are attractive don't have it easier i'd be lying, but there are plenty of things you can work on that will get you a girl. And if your now reading this and thinking "Thats dumb, I'm already good in those area's" then continue dating and find a girl who loves you for who you are.

Because acceptance in this case to me would mean you accept you can't control your looks, so you maximize your qualities in the other area's to obtain what you seek.

[IslaTheWitch]

you can accept whatever you want, but I would rather stick to reality.

Your appearance isn't as important as you think. But your personality, genuine confidence based on your strengths, and self love and acceptance can make you glow and be more visible than guys with only nice faces.

It's your choice who you want to be and how much effort you put into it.

[Asker]

Im not an asshole or shitty person

[Cheapskate]

I think if this were truly out of your hands, if you were truly just so ugly that you could never find a satisfying relationship, your mind would not be bugging you about it. Your mind would probably have accepted it by now.

I think the reason you are tormented about this is that your mind can see that you have a chance, and it's like "What's the holdup? Why aren't we moving? Let's get going!"

[Anonymous]

Regardless of your situation, if your own words make it worse, then it's time to change them along with your thoughts. I prefer to remain single and am older than you. You might discover that having a girlfriend is very overrated...

My advice to you is to find a love for life, before anything else.

[Anonymous]

By realizing that most the women that would reject you for your looks are just as ugly on the inside as you claim to be on the outside. Everyone likes to feel desired. But physical attraction is just the starting point of that. You're not missing out on as much as you think you are.

[laly520]

im pretty sure the struggle u have is beyond looks

I think u asked a similar thing before

[Asker]

New to this site. Found about few days ago

[BarryLiverstone]

You can be thankful that it’s 2024 and you can vent and get attention for your lack of effort. 100 years ago guys were more motivated to try because there was no internet to complain to

[Cheapskate]

What do you hope to accomplish with this comment?

[BarryLiverstone]

Not much. If a guy is like the asker I don’t have much hope for him. Maybe he will hit rock bottom and decide to make life changes. But odds are more likely he will die alone

[Cheapskate]

So it's like a tough love thing?

[BarryLiverstone]

No love about it. It’s just removing all the bullshit and social “being nice” crap. The guy is lazy and can’t expect to be rewarded for minimal effort. But he gets attention so he keeps the pattern

[Asker]

How do you know i haven't tried?

[BarryLiverstone]

Because you haven’t had a girlfriend. Anyone can try once or twice. But you are older than me and haven’t tried enough to this point in your life

[Asker]

What if i have tried a lot but failed every time?

[BarryLiverstone]

Then you would be like most people. Many fail. It’s how you react and grow that marks success.

How many girls have you approached irl this year?

[Asker]

Too many to count

[BarryLiverstone]

Thought so. And that’s a lie. You could count how many and tell me honestly. But my guess is you are not an honest guy

[Cheapskate]

You may be good at approaching women, but you're behaving like a bit of a dick.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes I agree with you. I’m behaving like a dick.

[Asker]

You have this guranteee mindset

[BarryLiverstone]

Not at all. Everyone makes mistakes. Very few sure things. But I also could have asked you how many unattractive girls did you approach?

[Cheapskate]

What is the point of approaching women you aren't attracted to?

[BarryLiverstone]

Making new friends and expanding your social network.

[handsomelad70]

You haven't tried hard enough to get a girlfriend. Dudes A ZILLION TIMES uglier than you bop about with babes.