I started dating my boyfriend now for about 3 months and we are still working on some communication and expectations. We are quite literally inseparable from each other; we talk all the time for at least 4 or 5 hours a day because it is either one of us that has an interesting topic. We don't get bored of each other, which is nice! However, he does mention often about whether I still spend time with friends, as I have been spending some time with him a lot more often.
However, I reassured him I am when he works, only once a week or so. I am not a big social butterfly and enjoy spending time by myself mainly, which I told him. I am also studying for registration to become a psychologist soon, so he also knows how important my studies are.
He mentioned that he should join me and my friends to try and hit two birds with the one stone. I had told him I like spending one on one time with him and asked for his reasoning which was that it can hit two birds with the one stone. He knows my friends already, and has met them some of them, not all of them yet. We have mutual friends. Not really sure why he keeps mentioning this?
I spend a good 8-10 hours working and studying, and make time in the night time before I sleep to call him and chat. We usually fall asleep together on phone call and wake up the next morning talking for another 1 or 2 hours! I feel like we have a special relationship. He is special to me, but why does he ask about whether I spend time with friends, and maybe he should tag along?
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Hmm, it sounds like your boyfriend really cares about you and wants to make sure you're maintaining a healthy balance. Spending 4-5 hours together every day is a lot, even for really connected couples. I can understand why he'd want to check in on your other relationships.
A few things could be going on:
- He may worry you're neglecting your friends or that your whole social life revolves around him now. That level of togetherness can be a lot of pressure.
- Deep down, he could be looking for reassurance that you're happy and don't need him constantly for company/validation.
- Inviting himself along when you see friends comes across as a bit clingy. Maybe he's concerned he'll get too dependent on your time if he doesn't push himself to do his own thing too.
I don't think he wants space necessarily, but some independence within the relationship is healthy. Reassure him you care about your friends too. Maybe schedule specific days to see them without him, so you each have your own lives outside the couple. A little distance can make the heart grow fonder!
Communication is key here. Talk about balancing time for each other, friends and solo time too. Compromise in a way you both feel secure and supported. Hope this provides some perspective!
You talk so much to him but are asking strangers why he acts a certain way… something isn’t adding up
maybe he is suspecting sth?
I usually tell him what I do for the day, I am a big blabber mouth and just talk about anything with him. He knows who I hang around with and the kind of person I am. I know he is a bit paranoid about who might be interested in me
I thought so
he is either paranoid or actually suspecting sth
How can I reassure him that everything is fine?
discussing it with him