Is it okay to ignore my boyfriend if I’m angry?

[Anonymous]

So I’m pretty freaking furious at my boyfriend. He started a fight with me about childish stuff and he was just an idiot. The next day he texts me asking to talk and resolve things. I tell him I’m too pissed off to talk and it’s gonna be weeks before I’m not. Which is true I’m so angry I can’t see it taking less than a few weeks. He’s upset and thinks that’s too long. But it’s my feelings

[ArrowheadSW]

Of course you want to be clear about why you are angry, which it looks like you did. Explaining why you need "time out" is a big plus because then he knows the reason and isn't left to doubt in his mind. Be sure not to do it as a "punishment" because that really isn't a good idea and won't help matters in the long run.

[Asker]

His issue is he doesn’t know when I’m going to talk to him again because I don’t know myself either , when I calm down enough but that could be days, a week, longer I don’t know. He doesn’t like leaving those unresolved

[ArrowheadSW]

One approach is to keep him informed that you still need time out, but that you are willing to talk about it later. It looks like that is what you are doing.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's childish of you. You say he started a fight over childish stuff, but that's your perspective only, and I suspect his story would be different. You owe it to both of you to give him the opportunity to discuss it with you and make things right.

Personally, if this happened to me and my girlfriend ignored me for weeks, I would be long gone by then.

[Asker]

I told him I’ll discuss it when I’m not this furious with him and if that takes weeks that’s how long it takes , if he makes me angry enough I don’t just forgive and forget because then he thinks he can do this all the time. He needs to learn

[Opinion Owner]

You need to get some counseling on conflict resolution skills because your current approach is toxic. If you're not willing to do that, I think you should avoid him for a very long time.

You sound very entitled and self important tbh.

[Asker]

How do I sound entitled or self important?

[Anonymous]

U are correct. He needs to earn your apology. He can’t expect u to act like everything is ok after he abused u. If u keep gaslighting yourself into thinking it’s ok , he will continue. Don’t put up with bs. In fact leave him

[Asker]

He wants to work things out but I ignore him normally for weeks after we fight if I’m angry enough. He thinks it’s unfair and nothing can be solved if we’re not talking

[The_Sexpert]

No , adults should talk it out and come to a conclusion instead of being angry at each other and giving a silent treatment.. in my opinion

[Anonymous]

Weeks is kind of crazy. People fight and nobody is perfect 100% of the time. My girl has made me angry, but I've never gone to bed mad at her.

Imagine if he died so days from now and you spent the last two days being pissed at him.

[Opinion Owner]

**two

[Asker]

If I’m too angry to talk I need time, and it’s his fault for making me angry. Weeks might be long but again if he didn’t start the fight I wouldn’t be ignoring him for weeks

[Opinion Owner]

I could understand a few days, but weeks? That would get old quick. Like I said, nobody is perfect and I'm sure you've done things that piss him off. If my girl went weeks without talking to me I'd break up with her. But good luck. Hopefully for you he doesn't get tired of it.

[Asker]

If I’m angry enough it’s weeks. If he doesn’t like it then he should stop starting fights. Well he’s lucky I didn’t break up with him, I was almost angry enough to do it.

[Opinion Owner]

You might as break up with him tbh unless you want to be the one getting dumped cause it's gonna happen. Relationships like this don't last.

[Asker]

Why not?

[Asker]

We’re over 4 years together now so we have lasted

[Opinion Owner]

You've lasted 4 years, sure. Do you whatever you want, though. The silent treatment is emotionally abusive and everyone gets tired of it sooner or later.

[In_Trance]

As long as it's ok for him to do the same to you