When I am upset, why does my boyfriend ignore me?

[Anonymous]

We have been dating for almost a year now, and we seem to be very well connected. However, something will happen, like an argument (which I know is not my fault) and then he will ignore me. I end up apologizing every time even if it is not my fault. Sometimes he ignores me after that (it is a toss-up really on responses to it). I have confronted this and asked why he does this, yet all he said was that doesn't know and that he just doesn't want to talk about the issue anymore.

Today is Sunday, and on Thursday we made plans for Friday and Saturday. He had to go to a city about 50 minutes out on Saturday morning and invited me. We were both rather excited and planned things to do on top of that. I was to go stay with him Friday night so we could leave at about 9am. He was going to go camping with friends on Saturday night and get a ride there.

Well he was told that their older friend needed help with building a green house on Friday (at 10am) and I was fine. But then it got to be 7 pm and I waited all day to hear from him...and when I did, he said that he ran into the person we were going to see Saturday and there was no need to go. And that angered me because I knew instantly that we now had no plans and he was trying to stay with his friend Friday and Saturday. When I made my anger at that known, he said if I "really want to" he could go home and just leave with them really early in the morning. Which was bull. But When I tried to make the situation not so loppsided to his favor...he said "Whatever, bye." And has not said anything since.

He knows I dislike being ignored, I don't think I was wrong to be mad about being completely thrown aside...but yet he ignores me. Shouldn't that be the other way around? Why does he ignore me when I am mad at him...or even frustrated?

[Animal_Girl]

Probably because he doesn't know what to do when you're upset. Mine does it too. He doesn't really understand that ignoring the problem makes me feel worse, not better. Guys tend to want to be alone to work out their problems solo when they're upset, so he likely thinks that's what he should do for you, too. Try telling him exactly what you need. Tell him to hold you and just listen, because that's all you need to feel better (if that's what you want him to do.) Unfortunately, you've gotta be blunt, because he's never going to figure it out on his own.

[Anonymous]

i do that cause I'm way better at not getting mad than my girl and after a while it just gets annoying and I don't want to deal with it