Why does my boyfriend ignore me for several days when he is mad?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. We just had our first fight about four weeks ago over a business project he was helping me with. We fought and he stopped talking to me for 3 days. Then we made up and I asked him to meet so we can discuss why the fight happened and how we can learn to communicate from it. We scheduled to meet six times and each time he cancelled on me.

He wanted me to come over this week to sleep over at his place but I told him no because 1) i work during the week and 2) I was mad that he been neglecting our relationship so i just didn't want to even see him face-to-face anymore. When I told him I wasn't coming, he got mad. Since then, he ignoring me again. The ghosting and lack of communication is really irritating for me because I like to talk about stuff once it happens. I don't stay mad for long. Dealing with someone who doesn't know how to communicate frustrates me. It's like the things he ignores me for be so small. I don't know what I should do. It is our first fight so I want to work it out but I can't force him (and dont want to) to talk to me.

[Kaneki05]

Yikes... first fight? That's a major red flag. Ya see it's obviously good to not fight, but if you never have with someone over something, you will never know how they will react or yourself tbh.
First time normally won't go well. But if it was something you already had it's gets easier to understand the person and deal with it next time.

So now all the little info you have is, this is how he acts when mad with you. But cannot even be sure because you've never argued with him before. And relaying this info isn't gonna help as a question because it's too little for anyone to tell you why, and in fact you should know more than a stranger can.
Sighs remember getting into an argument with someone every once in a while is a healthy thing.

I will make some random, and i do mean random guess's. He don't do well with arguments and had some sorta idea there would never be one with you, Call it the honeymoon phase really thinking your so perfect nothing would ever happen then he's just been shocked out of it by this, which is really bad? Or really good if he can mature to the idea of fights will happen.
Another random guess, he is talking to someone else who makes him happy therefore he don't feel the need to sort stuff out with you and kinda wants you to be the bad guy (maybe even cheating but I don't know).
Another guess He's not appreciating you fully, aka ya don't know what you have to you lose it. Can happen get so blind sided by a fight he don't realize he's just lucky to be with you.
Another guess, He feels the need for you to just apologize and forget anything even happened aka not mature and could even be testing your abilty to stand up for youself.

[Asker]

Thank you for your response. I definitely feel like it's the not appreciating me. I say that because when we first got together we would go on dates and he would surprise me with little stuff like avocados because I love avocados. Or just sending me a good night text. He doesn't do that anymore. I miss it.

[Kaneki05]

Ah well if it's that what it. It's kinda just a wait game, gotta maybe leave him. And hope he realizes what he had and what he lost. However this can go the way of he never feels that way. Or don't realize until too late and you've moved on. Either way you've gotta do something more than just sit there in a 1 way relationship with only you trying.

[Asker]

Yes, I definitely agree. Thank you so much!

[RCLJT]

He doesn’t want to say hurtful things, he’s waiting for an apology, he’s cooling off or he’s an a**hole.

[fred_durst]

he is not ignoring you , he just too busy with other girl

[Asker]

If that's the case, why not just say? I have told him if you don't want this let me know. He told he wants it but he been super busy with school.

[Browneye57]

This fighting is a giant fail.

[AmeerX]

Because he is mad!