Guys over 35, would you marry a decent but divorced woman with no kids? I see many conflicted opinions?

Question

Hey everybody.

I am about to divorce from my husband of 10 years. He was my first boyfriend from university and we got married right after but unfortunately due to his alcohol and drug addiction I am divorcing him. Long story short, the nice guy I knew, became a complete abusive and addicted stranger I share my home with. Due to some problems within his family, he started taking out all his anger on me and forgot what we were. But overall, he is a good person with downsides. There is physical and emotional violence involved and last year I found out that he cheated on me with of his colleagues. I stayed by him for many years despite all his mental issues but I see no way out with him anymore. So this is my summary and I wanna know what my changes are for having a new life and family. I am educated and got my apartment and income and I wanna move on with my life finally.

I see so many guys talking very trashy about women my age because they all assume we are hoes etc and I am afraid of not finding a good man to build a life together.

Please be honest and direct.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think if it was you I’d have to say no I wouldn’t be interested. Something about reading your post raises some red flags. I can’t pinpoint it but something doesn’t feel right. That’s just me. Some men may be ok w meeting a single, divorced lady. I guess if I think about it, it comes down to basically it was all on him. You were the perfect wife, never did nothing wrong, so he’s to blame for it all. I find that hard to consume. I’m more open to women who are honest. Like yes I wasn’t the best partner myself, I had my faults but over time I’ve learned from them, I’ve grown. Overall if he was a good man you’d continue to try to fight for your marriage.

Truthatanycost · Accepted Answer

It sounds like your partner needs deliverance. This is the issue with not having any foundation that involves God. I've seen complete personality transformations over night through deliverance and I've only known about it for about 2 years. But in order to do all of this you need to be a born again believer. In relation to this is the fact that we live in a fallen world and unless you know how to spot the demons that hide inside of people, there will be problems. Many don't believe they even exist so are left wide open.

But in answer to your main question is no. I'd only marry a true woman of God.

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

I don't see why your divorce would be a issue. You have no kids so no big baggage. I bet you'd have no problem finding a man

OlderAndWiser · Answer

When I was your age, I assumed that the single women in that group were single because they were divorced, rather than having been single their entire lives. My only concern would be whether you have resolved your feelings about the marriage and are truly ready to move forward.

DaveJord · Answer

So basically every single woman my age, 47, or even within 10 years of being my age is either divorce or has kids. Hell I am divorced myself.

The issue becomes how willing are you to trust again, given you history. For me it was tough, and then dating is makes it even tougher.

To answer your question, yes I would be very willing to date a divorced woman. No kids, even better. You should be a hot commodity on the dating market, but still many will look to take advantage.

Anonymous · Answer

Possibly.

In your case, NO. Your case is definite red flag.

The problem is you waited too long. A guy at this stage of life is NOT looking to start over. You should have identified this wasn't getting better earlier and ended it earlier. I know you're going to say it shows your loyalty. But to a guy in this case it shows you're not smart enough to fold a bad hand. That you do not have enough self respect. People who lack self respect cannot respect others. I'm sorry but you'd be too big of a gamble.

I wish you the best of luck though.

mistershy94 · Answer

I am in almost the exact same situation as you, but my wife's problem was with managing her finances. I am going to divorce her and move on, because i feel I'll be happier without her. Whatever comes next, I don't really think matters a whole lot. I realized it's most important to be happy with yourself and if someone nice comes along either go with the flow or don't. What I'm trying to say is that being alone and being lonely can be two entirely different states of being. In short, if we had a good connection I would definitely get involved with you, maybe marry you down the line. Being divorced is not a deal breaker for me. I would probably have more trouble adjusting if you actually had kids.

Hanrej · Answer

Breaking up is a no-brainer regardless seeing as how your current boyfriend is abusive but honestly I think it will be difficult to find a man willing to marry. Younger men arn't ready and men your age and above have either a similar history as your current boyfriend or at the very least is controlling, the other side of the coin are more agreeable men who after years of compromising away everything they want out of life won't consider relationships let alone marriage. There is a middle ground, men who are happy compromising, who have no dreams or strong desires out of life but they are usually already in relationships and count themselves as lucky to have found some balance that works.

HighValue · Answer

I don't care too much about her being divorced, but I wouldn't want to start a new relationship with someone past 30 because I want healthy offspring and after 35 there is less than a 1% chance for a woman to be able to do that.

In your situation I would suggest finding a single father that maybe still wants one more kid. That way you may actually find someone with compatible morals and long term life goals.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

There’s no such thing as a decent divorced woman. Even if your fairy tale were true, and it’s not, yours resembles every other woman’s breakup/divorce story in one key way… ZERO accountability. Good men are sick and tired of hearing and reading about how men are always wrong and women are always right. Especially when we’re getting trashed in divorce court. It’s not true. It’s not funny. It’s not cute. And you’re not fooling anyone.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

If you take care of yourself I wouldn't have a problem with older kids as long as I'm not expected to fill the role of daddy to them. If they're 2 years old probably not just because that ruins our spontaneity and complicates planning. If you let yourself go then none of the aforementioned criteria matter.

dragoblack · Answer

It's gonna be much easier to date for you because you don't have kids. I think you will be fine since you are fully over your ex-husband. It's not easy with dating being the way it is nowadays, but women have a way higher chance then men do to finding someone.

RavVid · Answer

With kids would be a problem for some men maybe most. Men are always going to be concerned with body count but you seem good on that.

You just need to be careful to not visit the sins of the first husband onto the next and you should be ok.

JacobJordan · Answer

Hell the fuck no. Even if I wasn't married I wouldn't touch a single mother with a million mile pole. I have no patience to deal with the bullshit such a woman would bring

Levin · Answer

I think that's okay. My deal breakers would usually be: Kids, and women who sleep around.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Independent, rebounding, no kids, a career, assets and (I'm guessing ) in good shape? Sweetheart you are desirable!

slatyb · Answer

You can certainly find someone new. Consider counseling as you end your marriage.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

That's what you're saying, what makes a man sure that your story is real? If it's real than i feel really sorry for you, especially that he left no room for fixing things up...

DarkLegacy · Answer

The simple is no i would not. Why did you get with him in the first place, did you know he took drugs, if so then it is on your head.

MrDaveAPSI · Answer

No, but that's because I don't want marriage. I see it as an unnecessary religious institution

CubaPirate · Answer

I'd have no problem with that whatsoever. by the way good luck with your future and take care

MasterKS · Answer

Its how you present yourself, be real you will surely get real.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Did you drive your husband to drugs?

Guys over 35, would you marry a decent but divorced woman with no kids? I see many conflicted opinions?

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Guys over 35, would you marry a decent but divorced woman with no kids? I see many conflicted opinions?

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