Hi, First of all, I've flirted with a few people, but we never got into the dating process. I always find something bad for them. All my friends says it's perfectionism. I want a boyfriend too, but I get scared when things get serious with someone. Dating someone is a so good, but when I meet that person, I get scared and hesitate to become a lover. How can i handle this problem?
Aw man girl, I totally feel you on being scared to really fall for someone. It's so much easier to just flirt and have fun than to put your heart out there and be vulnerable, you know? But avoiding love just cause you're afraid of getting hurt is no way to live either. What helps is to remember that every person is different - just cause past guys didn't work out doesn't mean this new one won't. And you'll never know for sure how something could turn out if you don't even give it a chance. Next time you start really liking a dude, try taking it slow instead of running away. Let yourself enjoy getting to know him without overthinking the future. If a problem comes up, deal with it then. But stay present in the good moments too. Having something real is so worth pushing past a little fear now and then. You deserve to experience love and happiness, babe. You just gotta take that leap of faith in yourself and the other person. I bet there's someone out there perfect for you - but you won't find him hiding out!
I think maybe its a past relationship or a past experience that is keeping you back. And I think you should maybe ask yourself what that is. I promise you if you sit in a quiet room, and ask yourself in your mind, what are you scared of, what is stopping you from being happy and accepting and be open to love that someone wants to give or show you, the first answer that pops up will be your mind giving you the answer. remember you can't lie to yourself. It might be a belief as well. You might think maybe its because you don't feel worthy of love or believe you won't be accepted. There is love ut there for everybody. But we tend to ignore our deepest conversations with ourselves when we get too close to the real problems. Look inside first and tell yourself you are worthy, you deserve love and to be accepted and to be open to the love that is out there for you.
"Dating" and "Lover" status are not the same thing.
DATING: Picture a big old calendar. Dot the calendar with a few "dates" — times you're going to see this fellow and enjoy time with him, get to know him, etc. and test to see that he's worth shifting into "lover" gear with. Dating can be very light and flirtatious, short meetings or day trips or more (increasing gradually from the perfunctory 30-min "coffee" date to the dinner date, etc. etc. as you get to know one another).
LOVER: You're into one another when you enter this phase. The attraction is established and consentual with mutual maturity and appreciation on both sides.
So if you're feeling skittish about dating because you're merging those two concepts, try to think of it in this alternative perspective so you're more comfortable taking those first steps into dating, ok? Hope this helps! Good luck!
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u Nobody finds the perfect man or woman. There’s always a flaw always an issue always a problem. Just be lucky that you find somebody. That’s good enough. Maybe you should try church.
Who says it's a problem? There's nothing wrong with being single and having flirty guy friends instead of a boyfriend.
when sh17 hits the fan you run, you away nothing wrong with that, it is the best way to survive in this day and age!
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