3-Question Dating Challenge?

[DishLady]

I've been setting my guy friend up with some really amazing young ladies -- he's handsome, smart, established... so he's easy to get girls to go out with him... ONCE.

Afterwards I'll ask my friend how it went and he quietly says "I didn't like her." If I ask the girl she clams up and says she never wants to see him again.

So... finally I set him up with a girl friend who is known for being "too real" with people. And afterwards she explained that he grills the girls mercilessly with a list of questions designed, I suppose, to see whether the woman in front of his is "girlfriend material."

I have to have a talk with him about being too harsh and intense on a date... but actually I also think he's sort of on to something...

Guys and Gals, what are the first three things you ask a person on a date?

[ryanrhino]

I dated online. (Well, both my wife and I did and found each other).

I didn't lead the conversation when we were in person. I let her ask the questions, but that may also be why we're a good match, as she is the more social person with strangers than I.

As with anything, if not given enough time to explain oneself, the summary of statements may be taken with an undesirable perspective.

Having leading questions that feel leading are also intimidating. If the guy is in a hurry, love won't appear. (You can't see the forest through the trees).

[DishLady]

TRUE! Thanks so much for adding your insight!

[Chazmatazz269]

I always let the conversation develop naturally. Until later years and i started to detect a trend. Then i kind of started doing what your pal does, but i only needed one question to sort out what i needed to know.
“What part did you play in the failures of your past relationships?”
Turns out, women really do believe that it’s always all the man’s fault.

[DishLady]

I don't know if "fault" is always the word a girl is thinking of. (I mean... legitimately sometimes it IS the guy's fault, but sometimes it's just... circumstances. Like the timing just isn't right or whatever.) Also, if you're asking the person while on a date possibly the deck's stacked on that question... she's not gonna confess to robbing a bank if you're a banker...

[Chazmatazz269]

It’s never only one person’s fault. It takes two to make a relationship successful. If you can’t be honest with yourself about the part you played in past failures, then you certainly won’t be honest with me. Honesty is the bare minimum any relationship requires to be successful. It’s not a trap. Men are often perfectly honest about their failures because society has conditioned us to believe that women are always right and men are always wrong. There is no harm in putting an end to that nonsense and expecting women to be equally honest about their faults, foibles and failures.

[spartan55]

I never preplan my questions, it just depends on how the conversation goes. One favorite I like to use is "where is your favorite place to vacation, and when is the last time you were there.

[Tstrbrainer]

In this particular situation, maybe he's not in need of a relationship, or he wants one with you perhaps

[DishLady]

Hah... no, we're solidly just friends. And I'm only setting him up because he asked for my help.

[Tstrbrainer]

He asked for your help to get a girlfriend, yet he comes with a list which he probably knows won't work on women.

Are you sure?

[DishLady]

Very sure.

[spartan55]

😂 😂 😂 Lol

[Tstrbrainer]

@spartan55 what do you think?

[spartan55]

About what?

[Tstrbrainer]

That dude's situation.
Why's he asking her help when he probably knows that his questionnaire even repels the Cupid?

[spartan55]

This forum is evidence that there are many out there that have zero self awareness.

[DishLady]

@spartan55 LOL.

[DishLady]

Bro, I'm telling you... there's nothing. He's just a fellow with more book smarts than street smarts. He's not interested in me that way and I'm not interested in him that way. Very "Rated G" friendship.

[NathanDavis]

he should be working with dam builders...