Dating Question?

[Anonymous]

met a girl a month ago. first date great as 8 hours. next day planned 2nd date for next weekend and talked almost everyday. 2nd date great as 12 hours. I was starting to really like this girl. We continued to talk regularly and planned date 3 for 5 days later.
Date 3 I started to worry. plan was dinner/drinks. picked her up and brought her flowers/romantic note. When got there something triggered in my head and I became very nervous. I didn’t have my best stuff that date. I messed up and told her I was nervous as I liked her. After the date I sent her a text saying why I was nervous and that I like her. She responded right away and said all good and she was enjoying getting to know me and I was very sweet. Felt little better but felt a different vibe from her that night (or at least I thought)
next day she said that she wants to go out on another date and she was looking forward to it. planned date 4 for this Saturday. Since that day we don’t talk much/brief. My friends said i may have come on a little strong so maintain some distance and give her space. I didn’t message her for 2 days. she actually messaged me I hope your having a great and I responded an hour later. She then responded 24 hours later and we talked very brief. I am trying to stay distant/regroup after date 3. she has to be pretty interested if we’re going on date 4 and she initiated contact. She initiated contact again yesterday and talked a little. she takes longer to respond sometimes and said she would let me know what time available on Saturday. I am little worried she lost interest (maybe she didn’t) or other guys maybe (dating so I understand that/on date 2 she said a few others but nothing serious). I want to stay distant until Saturday and then on the date just have a ton of fun and don’t talk about feelings. I am getting annoyed with her distancing and long time to reply sometimes. Maybe I am overthinking and she is very interested and I just have to play it cool. Thoughts?

[PrettyPriya]

I do think you are way overthinking things. I read through your details and everything points to her being interested in you and happy with the way things are going so far. She even suggested a fourth date. You can't take that to mean anything other than she is happy seeing you.

Just because she is slow to message sometimes doesn't mean anything. People get busy or even forget they had a message. I'm sure you have been there as well. I sometimes get a notification from my SO on my watch and I am busy. All of a sudden 30 minutes has passed and I totally forgot he even sent a text.

Just because she doesn't message as much at times doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong. She still wants to go out with you. Just try and match her frequency of texts and understand that she could be busy with work, family or friends.

[Asker]

Thank you for you input as much appreciated. Yea I may be overthinking things but just got a different vibe lately from her and she use to text much more, but she intiates contact still. It might be a test to see if I am needy after I told her I liked her or she is trying to play hard to get, who can fully understand women haha.

but you are right, if she didn’t want to go out again then it would have been done already. Def think she is talking to other guys which is fine as that is dating but know she is interested in me also. but I don’t want to play these games as I lose interest. Guess have to wait and see how Saturday goes as I think if you go on 4 dates with someone you want to see where it goes with that person.

[PrettyPriya]

@yokey101010101024 You are welcome. I do think you are overthinking it. I know you say you picked up a different vibe recently. That happens too. She could have had a bad day or something happen in her family. Any number of things may have thrown off her normal self.

I 100% agree that if you go on four dates with someone, you are looking to see if things go well and contemplating dating that person. On my third date with my fiancé, I knew he was the one. The first date was a get to know you. The second I really start falling for him.

So, if she wasn't interested or at least open to the possibility of a relationship, there would be no fourth date. So, have fun and good luck on Saturday! 🙂

[Asker]

yea maybe the shorter messages, long response time and less frequent talking could mean she doesn’t want to appear needy also. Girls always have more choices in dating haha so not sure the status of other guys with her but I can’t worry about that

But appreciate the advice and thanks again

[Chazmatazz269]

You need a zanax. Ell oh ell!
You might be a little clingy, which often indicates codependent tendencies. So knock that shit off. Ask yourself some serious questions about why you’re feeling insecure. If it’s you, figure it out and work through it. If it’s her, be honest with her. Tell her what you’re feeling and why, and then ask for what you want. She might be put off by the ask. Prepare yourself for that. But she’s almost certainly going to be put off by your insecurities if you don’t snap out of it. If she’s not, then she likely has codependent tendencies too, and it’s not going to be good for either of you. That’s one sure fire way to a dysfunctional relationship.

[Iron_Man]

What do you do for the first eight hours on a date with a girl and what about the next one 12 hours

[Asker]

First date met for drinks then went to dinner and somewhere else for drinks. 2nd date met for drinks, went axe throwing as she wanted to try it, had dinner then went to a carnival. Wanted to change it up as better when doing things

[Iron_Man]

Axe 🪓 throwing

[Guy13]

Too much at one time 🤷🏻‍♂️ She’s in shock

[Guy13]

She’s needs lots of time to work through that last time. And it is likely that she is comparing to past or one of the calling 🐓 she hangs out with. Anything you do is like a high pressure Salesman who cracked at deal/contract time. Cut your PhD thesis down and maybe can go through details AS ALL men have done this kind of thing…

[Avicenna]

Sounds like you acting distant has backfired.