Dating question?

[Anonymous]

So I have been talking to this guy for 4 months and yes it's long distance. We still can't meet in person because he lives in mexico. I don't have my passport yet and the border is close so he can't come to visit me either. We have FaceTime so I know he is real. He has even introduced me to both of his parents. So my question is... that he use to call me and now I feel like I am the one who is initiating the calling. We do a lot of voice messages so I have initiated oh want to video chat? He agrees and all and has been consistent with his messages. I just feel like I don't want to be the only one initiating the calling and video chats. GUYS do you prefer the woman call/take initiative? Should I just stop so that he gets the memo and calls me... or just let it flow and not care so much. Need advice

[OlderAndWiser]

A LDR is difficult when both parties are motivated and impossible when only one person is truly interested. If he isn't motivated now, you need to know so that you can start looking elsewhere.

Why are you pursuing LDR when there are guys close to you who you could be seeing now?

[Asker]

I agree but he has a lot of qualities I look for. I know that's why we both have been keeping in touch because it's hard to meet anyone

[OlderAndWiser]

If you are in a lockdown state, that should be coming to an end soon. . . sooner than international travel bans will be lifted.

[Asker]

They said they were going to open the border in may now June. So it’s just been taking a while

[menina]

I know what you mean and I was also the one who initiated the conversations. I stopped messaging him and he got the memo. Unfortunately we never met because he didn't trust me.
Anyways, maybe he will understand that you don't want to be always the one who starts the conversation. If he doesn't, maybe you should tell him how you feel.
LDR's are not easy and sometimes they can be stressful and confusing. So make sure that you guys are on the same page.

[Asker]

Very true thank you! We already set a date around the time we can possibly see each other. So we'll see how that goes

[menina]

That's great! Hope you guys come to an agreement.

[Anonymous]

Let it flow and not care so much. It doesn't matter who initiates as long as the result is there. Don't let something insignificant like this come between you.

I can't speak for him, but personally I hate calling or video chatting. Just not my thing. I'd rather just text if it's not in person. I don't know why I hate it so much (doesn't matter who it's with either), I just do.

[Asker]

I hear what you are saying but then I would feel like I'll be doing all the work you know. Like he has to earn it also

[Opinion Owner]

Does he do nothing ever? Like if you stopped all communication today, would you eventually hear from him in some way do you think? That would be the only concern I'd have. That's a little different than what you're talking about I think? Otherwise I'd try to look at it differently. He's not avoiding you or anything like that, so he's still interested I think. But this Covid is hard. I'm in a similar situation. Met someone and we are trying to stay in touch until we can meet, but it's hard when you don't really know them yet. But we've met once, so that's helped. But it's hard to keep the contact and conversation going when you can't see each other. Especially when more and more time goes by.

[Asker]

He does put effort in the sense that he is consistent with his texting and voice messages. We do voice messages more than texting. We both reply when we can we both want to meet each other. Just can't because I don't get my passport until the end of June. He doesn't have his yet and can't cross unless it's an emergency or work related. I am also scared to go over to him because in Mexico is bad right now. Lots of shootings near his place with his parents. Leaves me in an uneasy situation. I do appreciate the effort he does put though

[Anonymous]

Well he maybe thinks he earned that after he has introduced you to his parents, but still shouldn't always initiate the calling if it makes you feel pushy, next time let him be the one who asks for it, try to make it by taking turns.

[Asker]

Introduced me to both on video chat. His mom has my number now. I don't feel too pushy because he agrees and we talk and all. I just don't want to feel like I am the only one putting the effort you know.

[Opinion Owner]

I know, lay back a little and he shall 😌

[Asker]

I should take a step back, it's not like we are boyfriend and girlfriend yet. I just have high expectations you know

[Opinion Owner]

I can imagine.. you mist be special for him to introduce you to his parents.. always know your worth and don't take any less than you deserve 👌

[Asker]

He told me he hadn’t done that before. It was quite a surprise to be honest. We were on video chat and I said hi to his dad that time. I got shy lol I wasn’t expecting that at all

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah I never heard of something like it before too xD
Also you MHO percentage indicates how special you are so it's not a surprise that he picked up on that and introduced you to his family, he's proud to know you indeed 😁

[Asker]

What is HMO?

[Opinion Owner]

Check it in your profile, it's 76% (Most Helpful Opinion), to me it indicates you're smart..

[Asker]

Oh mine is the most helpful opinion? WHAT? lol :)

[Opinion Owner]

In your profile next your Xper Level there's MHO with a 76% under it.
Okay you're not that smart xD

[Asker]

by the way I have another question. Do you think I am doing too much by helping him with his business? He is starting a business and I told him I could let people here know to see if they want any. He is selling beef jerky because he doesn't make to much over there where he lives. Of course I like him so I am always willing to help. I don't know if I am doing too much

[Asker]

Hey stop! I don't even check that!!! and did you see my question... under your reply

[Opinion Owner]

I PMed you with the reply

[Asker]

Oh I didn't receive anything

[Opinion Owner]

You aren't doing too much helping him with his business no,
and it's not a commitment that you made, I mean you don't consistently help him sell, right?

[Asker]

No I just posted it on my instagram and been telling afew people that's all. Not doing too much

[Opinion Owner]

Well then it's casual, you're just helping when you feel like it, nothing wrong with that

[Asker]

Thank you. I appreciate your feedback a lot. I think I am just to the point where I am trying to be patient but I can't wait to meet him in person. We are both attracted to each other and man I've been having to be so patient

[Opinion Owner]

I can help you with that. you can share with me any contact so we can message and help each other out as friends, plus I'd like to get to know you and support you when you need me with whatever I can offer

[Asker]

What is your email?

[Opinion Owner]

aassem67@gmail. com

[Asker]

I'll send you an email right now