Why do most women on this forum appear to think that guys have an easier time in dating than women?

[Anonymous]

I made a poll question regarding the topic of which sex has it easier in the world of dating (see link ). And, I found that most of the women who answered thought that men had it easier, and that most of the women who voted voted for men.

So, I was wondering what some people's theories about that are. Do you think that the answers and votes are a good representative of the general population? Do most women outside of GAG think that men have an easier time in dating than women?

I'm throwing my own personal feelings in here, but I feel like women have to give us guys some credit. We do have to go through more than them just to get someone's interest. I've never seen a handsome guy with no people skills getting good looking girls. And, the fatties, they tend to go out with the good-looking, skinny guys with no people skills.

So, it really does seem, to me, that the odds are stacked against most guys. The only thing that protects us men from living the rest of our lives alone is that we live in a monogamist society and so at some point, most of these women have to find someone if they don't want to spend the rest of their lives alone either.

But, I am guy, and my opinions are likely to be biased. I'm hoping that some women will provide some good arguments as to why women might have a harder time in the world of dating than men.

[soa88]

I think Women have it easier than men-to be honest. All we have to do is look cute, act stupid, and just go with the flow. However, Woman are way more complex that that. I give guys huge amounts of credit to be able to go up to a complete attractive stranger and get her number. That takes confidence, humor, and a good attitude in general. You have to understand that woman, especially attractive woman, get approached by some weird, some perverts, some old, some actually decent men, all the time, we learn to develop these defensive techniques because some men, NOT all men, I am not generalizing---but most men, do not have the best intentions. It would be easier if we had signs hanging from men saying which ones were douches, which ones are nice, and which ones are wasting our times.

Woman are bitchy and annoying, no doubt, however you have to understand that we do not get to choose who is attracted to us, and who is not. I would never want to change a man or force him to grow up, however that is what woman have to do when a man is not ready or mature enough for a relationship.

If a man knows exactly what he wants, I think it could be easier for men, however I think most learn from experiences. Woman are emotionally connected to a man, We have to be cautious who we let in and do not let in.

Overall, I think Women do have it easier, and Men have it harder. Both Genders get screwed over, and have done the screwing over. I know Women who have cheated and Men who have cheated.

[Asker]

You do have some control over what man is attracted to you, to some extent - the better you look, the more guys are attracted to you.

[soa88]

To some extend yes-The better you look, the more men you attract, you get a better selection more quantity..It is more about a Higher Probability that a decent man will be attracted to you than an unattractive woman. You can not change the person whom is attracted to you, who they are as a person. Its how composed you are as a person, How you hold yourself, and How you see yourself. Have someone talk about themselves for 5 min straight? The way they do it, and the language they use-tells you alot

[crookthings]

Considering only 10 girls voted and the votes are only 6 to 4, I wouldn't say it's a representative sample and hardly enough to conjure the word "most."

I think the whole debate of "who has it worse" is pointless and counterproductive but here are my *opinions*:

- People have it equally hard when it comes to trying to find someone, assuming it's not for casual sex. Talking about love here. It's hard to find someone you're super compatible with no matter what gender you are. People argue that men are less picky, but that's a choice.

- Men have it harder during the first several dates if they're dating someone who adheres to gender roles. Women have it harder in different areas of life where our gender roles are still in place, but not in the initial stages of dating (again, assuming the people involved buy into tradition).

- I also think more people are starting to realize what bullsh*t this all is, so if those people just find each other AND happen to be compatible, it won't be "harder" for ANYONE.

We need to stop placing so much emphasis on how someone "should" be based on their gender, and arguing over whose lives are crappier doesn't fix anything.

[Asker]

I agree with you for the most part. However, it's my experience that many women on this forum have openly stated that they're jealous of men because 'we get to have it all'. But, I really feel like what ever things it is that they say that "we" get to have really isn't true for the most of us. Maybe many women on this forum tend to get hurt by men from a category that only a select few come from, but that's entirely women's fault, imo, for rewarding their bad behavior.

[crookthings]

I've been jealous of men because I've been taken less seriously in science academia just because I'm a woman. One of my math professors suggested a different career for me because "women aren't successful here." So if you're a guy, you don't have to deal with that particular thing. Similarly, if you're a woman, you don't feel social pressure to pay for entire dates. People seem to forget that nobody's life is automatically peachy just because of a couple examples of how they have it "easier."

[Asker]

Yeah, your professor is just sexist. Even if men generally tend to do better at math, doesn't necessarily mean that men are just simply inherently better at math than girls. It just means that a lot of people who are good at math tend to be men. Just like a lot of people who rank in the top 1% of the US's income tend to be men as well, but it doesn't necessarily mean that men are just simply better at making money. Some girls are good at math and some women actually make the Forbes 500 list.

[crookthings]

Yeah, the sexism comes from ignoring confounding influences. When men tend to do better in math and science, some people just assume, "Oh, well that's because of inherent brain differences between the sexes. Men's brains are more logic-oriented," even though studies have shown that women do worse on math tests after simply being TOLD, "men tend to get higher scores on this test than women do." Just like men are probably worse at emotional skills when they believe that feelings are for girls :P

[Anonymous]

yeah I really hate the argument that for every girl that has a boyfriend, that guy has a girlfriend, people use that as the excuse to disagree that women have it easier, but c'mon, they are missing the point, the woman does not need much going for her in order to be attractive, however men do.

[Asker]

Honestly, I think that women have more rules than men and that's all the difference that there is. Men tend to fixate on a few things, whereas women have a much larger list of things.

[Anonymous]

I think dating is often difficult. I don't think it is easy for either men or women.